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I am a 24 year old girl and I think I have Aspergers, frightened to seek diagnoses.

Hickory

I don't really know where to start. I have been going to the doctors periodically for 10 years about problems I have had since I was a child. I have never being officially diagnosed with anything other than depression, and when I moved to a new city the new doctor I was registered with said there was a note on my file from 5 years ago that said I was suspected to be bipolar but this wasn't pursued then and the doctor who told me didn't pursue it either. I say periodically because I go to the doctors when I reach a breaking point and resort to self harm and begin having suicidal thoughts,this has happened more times than I can count and the same things always happen, they prescribe me some strain of anti depressant and send me for a couple of months of CBT then they say, 'you seem fine now' and send me on my way. I have never felt what I would describe as 'fine' my life is a mess, and yes I maybe stop thinking about suicide for a month or so and then I am right back where I started. The reason that I think that Aspergers is the answer starts with my mum.

My mother is the manager of a nursery and had a girl with suspected autism, she went on courses to learn more about it so she accomodate the little girl. She later became friends with the girls mum and has learned alot since. Recently the girl was seen by a specialist and as my mum tells it she was talking to her and somehow the subject came around to me, the specialist suggested that it sounded like I have alot of symptoms of Aspergers, something my mum said she had never considered because she knows me well and to her this is just the way I am. The kind of symptoms my mum was talking to her about was that I have an extreme (and I mean extreme) aversion to the social aspects of life, something my mum has always hated and always tried to change about me. I never had friends in school and when I did it didn't last long and my mum used to get annoyed that I wouldn't actively seek to make friends because it didn't interest me. I hate parties and basically anything social. Over my life I have started multiple college courses and dropped out, I am currently in my second year of Uni and I feel like I can't cope with this any longer either. I get extremely obsessed with things, and I won't stop talking about them and they consume my life, I get obsessed with particular people to which is something that I have always found to be frustrating. I keep a lot of spreadsheets of statistics from games I play and they are very important to me. I could go on. So my mum gently told me what this specialist had said and my first reaction was to laugh and say 'don't be stupid' I know I'm messed up but it couldn't be Aspergers could it? I can look people in the eye just fine and I have a partner that I love and have been with for 10 years. Then she started asking me questions like 'do you like to be hugged' and I was like 'not really' but thats just because it annoys me when someone trys to hug me, if I'm initiating the hug then I'm happy. But she did get me thinking, so I came home and started looking it all up and the more looked the more worried I got, everything I looked at regarding Aspergers was extremely relateable, and I was ticking off alot, I took the Rivto Autism Aspergers Diagnostic Scale and scored highly (207)... 

So now I'm thinking this could be the answer to my lifelong problems, and I do want to go to the doctors and see if I can get some answers but I'm terrified, I don't even know what I'm supposed to say to them. I have been looking for the cause of all these problems I have had for a long time and I've found saying to them "I think I have this" is just greeted by a skeptical look and no doctor has ever referred me for anything other than CBT. I feel like I have never been so sure that this is it and if I get brushed off again I don't think I will be able to take it. I just feel like there is no way they will take me seriously and from what I have been looking at online the fact that I am a girl is going to make it even more difficult? I'm sorry this is so long, any advice would be appreciated.

Hickory x

Parents

  • Hi,

    A lot of GPs see no point in diagnosing Asperger's. Because there's no cure for the actual autism. The GP may have suspicions but just focuses on depression/anxiety, because they feel they can help with that. People with autism have features of anxiety. Not everyone with anxiety disorders have Asperger's/autism. Only a specialist could diagnose if you have autism/Asperger's. I've known someone who has had a life very similar to my own, but they don't have autism. They have high anxiety/depression.

    If the person suspected of having autism is suffering or unable to work, that may be used as a reason to seek a diagnosis. If professionals see a positive reason such as employment, that seems to be helpful in getting a referral. If you can still have relationships/hold down a job, with little effect on day to day life, GPs seem to have little interest in referring. The referrer may claim a diagnosis would benefit your family relationships/parenting.

    I was referred for an Asperger's assessment by my support worker at the time 5 years ago. When my child was 5 & I was fighting my DLA decision. Though resources were tight then, they're even worse now. It took several months to even receive a response. After several written assessments & a few face-to-face appointments, I was formally diagnosed by a senior specialist. After the diagnosis I just received a letter detailing my diagnosis, but no treatment (it states there is none for autism). I'm unable to work but still this is not accepted as being due to autism. The DWP still only acknowledge depression/anxiety element as a cause. As I never go out now I don't see any GP. Ironically DWP refuse to accept I still have anxiety/depression. 

Reply

  • Hi,

    A lot of GPs see no point in diagnosing Asperger's. Because there's no cure for the actual autism. The GP may have suspicions but just focuses on depression/anxiety, because they feel they can help with that. People with autism have features of anxiety. Not everyone with anxiety disorders have Asperger's/autism. Only a specialist could diagnose if you have autism/Asperger's. I've known someone who has had a life very similar to my own, but they don't have autism. They have high anxiety/depression.

    If the person suspected of having autism is suffering or unable to work, that may be used as a reason to seek a diagnosis. If professionals see a positive reason such as employment, that seems to be helpful in getting a referral. If you can still have relationships/hold down a job, with little effect on day to day life, GPs seem to have little interest in referring. The referrer may claim a diagnosis would benefit your family relationships/parenting.

    I was referred for an Asperger's assessment by my support worker at the time 5 years ago. When my child was 5 & I was fighting my DLA decision. Though resources were tight then, they're even worse now. It took several months to even receive a response. After several written assessments & a few face-to-face appointments, I was formally diagnosed by a senior specialist. After the diagnosis I just received a letter detailing my diagnosis, but no treatment (it states there is none for autism). I'm unable to work but still this is not accepted as being due to autism. The DWP still only acknowledge depression/anxiety element as a cause. As I never go out now I don't see any GP. Ironically DWP refuse to accept I still have anxiety/depression. 

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