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I am a 24 year old girl and I think I have Aspergers, frightened to seek diagnoses.

Hickory

I don't really know where to start. I have been going to the doctors periodically for 10 years about problems I have had since I was a child. I have never being officially diagnosed with anything other than depression, and when I moved to a new city the new doctor I was registered with said there was a note on my file from 5 years ago that said I was suspected to be bipolar but this wasn't pursued then and the doctor who told me didn't pursue it either. I say periodically because I go to the doctors when I reach a breaking point and resort to self harm and begin having suicidal thoughts,this has happened more times than I can count and the same things always happen, they prescribe me some strain of anti depressant and send me for a couple of months of CBT then they say, 'you seem fine now' and send me on my way. I have never felt what I would describe as 'fine' my life is a mess, and yes I maybe stop thinking about suicide for a month or so and then I am right back where I started. The reason that I think that Aspergers is the answer starts with my mum.

My mother is the manager of a nursery and had a girl with suspected autism, she went on courses to learn more about it so she accomodate the little girl. She later became friends with the girls mum and has learned alot since. Recently the girl was seen by a specialist and as my mum tells it she was talking to her and somehow the subject came around to me, the specialist suggested that it sounded like I have alot of symptoms of Aspergers, something my mum said she had never considered because she knows me well and to her this is just the way I am. The kind of symptoms my mum was talking to her about was that I have an extreme (and I mean extreme) aversion to the social aspects of life, something my mum has always hated and always tried to change about me. I never had friends in school and when I did it didn't last long and my mum used to get annoyed that I wouldn't actively seek to make friends because it didn't interest me. I hate parties and basically anything social. Over my life I have started multiple college courses and dropped out, I am currently in my second year of Uni and I feel like I can't cope with this any longer either. I get extremely obsessed with things, and I won't stop talking about them and they consume my life, I get obsessed with particular people to which is something that I have always found to be frustrating. I keep a lot of spreadsheets of statistics from games I play and they are very important to me. I could go on. So my mum gently told me what this specialist had said and my first reaction was to laugh and say 'don't be stupid' I know I'm messed up but it couldn't be Aspergers could it? I can look people in the eye just fine and I have a partner that I love and have been with for 10 years. Then she started asking me questions like 'do you like to be hugged' and I was like 'not really' but thats just because it annoys me when someone trys to hug me, if I'm initiating the hug then I'm happy. But she did get me thinking, so I came home and started looking it all up and the more looked the more worried I got, everything I looked at regarding Aspergers was extremely relateable, and I was ticking off alot, I took the Rivto Autism Aspergers Diagnostic Scale and scored highly (207)... 

So now I'm thinking this could be the answer to my lifelong problems, and I do want to go to the doctors and see if I can get some answers but I'm terrified, I don't even know what I'm supposed to say to them. I have been looking for the cause of all these problems I have had for a long time and I've found saying to them "I think I have this" is just greeted by a skeptical look and no doctor has ever referred me for anything other than CBT. I feel like I have never been so sure that this is it and if I get brushed off again I don't think I will be able to take it. I just feel like there is no way they will take me seriously and from what I have been looking at online the fact that I am a girl is going to make it even more difficult? I'm sorry this is so long, any advice would be appreciated.

Hickory x

Parents

  • Hickory, I hope that at 24 you will at least be taken more seriously than those of us who were middle-aged before we sought a diagnosis (I'm 56). Age shouldn't matter but apparently it often does.  However, referrals seem to vary regionally; here in North Somerset we're fortunate to now have a dedicated NHS autism service and it took only three months for them to give me an appointment after the GP's referral.  Besides diagnosis, this also offers a weekly advice service and post-diagnostic course.  Until this autism unit was established, I never got anywhere asking GPs for a diagnosis.

    Incidentally, there are several women on the post-diagnostic course I attend and I think there's a growing awareness of Asperger's in females.  I notice that the women on the course don't appear to have some of the typical male traits we often read about, nor do I myself (perhaps because I'm a gay male).

    But whatever the local situation these are my tips (based on my personal experience).  I've posted them before but I think they're worth repeating.

    1. Make a special appointment with your GP for this one issue.  Don't raise other health problems at the same time as these will distract from it.
    2. Emphasise how much and in what ways your life is affected, if possible in precisely measurable terms.  In my case, this meant statements like: "I spend almost all my time alone," "I haven't had a night away from home for 12 years".
    3. Write down in advance what you want to say - also rehearse it but refer to your notes when necessary at the appointment.  It's okay to appear or sound nervous; that will probably strengthen your case!
    4. Emphasise it's a long-term issue and you are not just going through "a bad patch".
    5. Give your reasons why you think it's ASD and not shyness, depression, or the other convenient labels the GP might want to use.  Don't be fobbed off with antidepressants or other pills GPs like to prescribe.
    6. Take one of the online tests and print out or record your score for the GP.
    7. If you feel really uncomfortable with a particular GP, switch to another either temporarily or permanently. However, if you can, it's probably best to see the doctor you're actually registered with - he was the one who eventually referred me.
    8. If it helps - and it's possible - ask a relative or friend to accompany you, ideally someone who can confirm what you say without taking over the interview.
    9. Do not ramble.  Short, strong, precise statements often make more impact than trying to tell your life history or going on about how bad you feel generally.  Allow the GP time to respond.
    10. State clearly that you want to be referred for an autism diagnosis as soon as possible.
Reply

  • Hickory, I hope that at 24 you will at least be taken more seriously than those of us who were middle-aged before we sought a diagnosis (I'm 56). Age shouldn't matter but apparently it often does.  However, referrals seem to vary regionally; here in North Somerset we're fortunate to now have a dedicated NHS autism service and it took only three months for them to give me an appointment after the GP's referral.  Besides diagnosis, this also offers a weekly advice service and post-diagnostic course.  Until this autism unit was established, I never got anywhere asking GPs for a diagnosis.

    Incidentally, there are several women on the post-diagnostic course I attend and I think there's a growing awareness of Asperger's in females.  I notice that the women on the course don't appear to have some of the typical male traits we often read about, nor do I myself (perhaps because I'm a gay male).

    But whatever the local situation these are my tips (based on my personal experience).  I've posted them before but I think they're worth repeating.

    1. Make a special appointment with your GP for this one issue.  Don't raise other health problems at the same time as these will distract from it.
    2. Emphasise how much and in what ways your life is affected, if possible in precisely measurable terms.  In my case, this meant statements like: "I spend almost all my time alone," "I haven't had a night away from home for 12 years".
    3. Write down in advance what you want to say - also rehearse it but refer to your notes when necessary at the appointment.  It's okay to appear or sound nervous; that will probably strengthen your case!
    4. Emphasise it's a long-term issue and you are not just going through "a bad patch".
    5. Give your reasons why you think it's ASD and not shyness, depression, or the other convenient labels the GP might want to use.  Don't be fobbed off with antidepressants or other pills GPs like to prescribe.
    6. Take one of the online tests and print out or record your score for the GP.
    7. If you feel really uncomfortable with a particular GP, switch to another either temporarily or permanently. However, if you can, it's probably best to see the doctor you're actually registered with - he was the one who eventually referred me.
    8. If it helps - and it's possible - ask a relative or friend to accompany you, ideally someone who can confirm what you say without taking over the interview.
    9. Do not ramble.  Short, strong, precise statements often make more impact than trying to tell your life history or going on about how bad you feel generally.  Allow the GP time to respond.
    10. State clearly that you want to be referred for an autism diagnosis as soon as possible.
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