Traumagenic quasi autism? Failed 1st assessment

Ugh so frustrating! The text boxes are really laggy it's happened to  me on here too. Can't they get one of these autistic types to fix the website?

And ponies too huh? It's not a coincidence is it?

Hello again!  I'm very annoyed.I typed a long, long reply to your post and was just about to finish it when I lost my connection and it disappeared. : (  I could scream!!!! 

I'll try again tomorrow.  Too tired and frustrated tonight.  I'm 100% certain you're an Aspergirl.  Yes, the more you say, the more similar we seem to be - even over Equestria : )

Hi, 

jusr to be clear he didn't use the term QA, that's just all that came up when I googled autistic traits being caused by trauma. It clearly didn't apply to me at all So I was really confused. This was not a diagnostic apontmnt. The local service wont refer you for diagnosis unless you pass the first chat. He just told me I wasn't autistic and mytraits were all caused by childhood trauma. When I asked him to explain the other stuff he just said I don't know.

I did know about EDS being connected but the assessor hadn't heard of it! Sigh.

I have such a strong interest in machinery but because I can't choose between Victorian steam cranes, fast fords of the eighties, my PC and classic motorbikes, that's too broad Aapparently. Well most aspie men I know would be happy to chat about any of those at length!

i first learned to code computers at maybe 7, I've only just taken it back up due to finally not being homeless and having a decent rig. I love it so much when the code does what you wanted I jump up and down in my chair. im not saying all female coders are autistic but come on!

And I just didnt know the guy well enough to admit my love of my little pony! I know its such a lame cliche of autism but I've got pony tattoos, bought back all the ones I had as a kid and even have a real pony named after a character from the franchise. I'm not fully comfortable telling a total stranger That. It's a wee bit embarrassing! my son loves it to so I use the kids as an excuse to buy pony magazines etc. When you've been laughed at for being childish for so long you hide it Reflexively. 

I've contacted Lorna wing centre for advice. Thanks for the tip. 

You and me sound very similar! I even have a diamanté sofa And sooo many crystals. 

how long did it take for you to finally get a diagnosis?

Hazelspoon said:

the earliest traumatic memories I can identify is my mother berating me for having "no social skills" and other kids excluding me and mocking me for my precocious speech and odd demeanour.

Not relevant at all to a quasi-autism diagnosis, which would require you to be unloved in your early years - but very relevant to a female-type AS diagnosis.  (I personally knew a Romanian ex-orphan very well.  Her autistic traits were very like my own apart from disinhibited attachment - which is characteristic of quasi-autism.  She wasn't ill-treated, but there were so many children and so few staff that she had no attachment figure, and would attach to any adult who showed her affection).  So I've no idea how he worked out that you had QA!

I have so much stuff that simply is not a symptom of PTSD. The way my brain constantly repeats snatches of music or speech and I have to sleep with the radio on to drown it out.   the love of shiny things, the feeling when I'm in a room full of people that is like nails down a blackboard...

I can identify with all of these, except sleeping with the radio on for I'm too tired (I've always had a nightlight though).  With me the snatches of music repeat during the day, especially if out walking alone.  Often the same music.  I collect like a magpie - crystals, rings, marbles, little coloured glass animals, hang shiny things in the windows, etc.   I've had these traits all my life.  I often wear Roma-type long skirts with shiny bits in them.  I hate walking into a room full of people, and the way they all turn to look at me.  Aaargh!  This happened recently.  I walked in, heard all the voices jumbled together, went all panicky, and got out quick.  I just couldn't face it.  All this is pretty autistic.

I don't get it. If he's autistic and very intelligent and can spot where I do or don't miss a social cue, then surely another autistic person is capable of learning these things!

I don't get it either.  Sometimes I even wonder if these people are being paid to fob off as many women with autism as possible.  Male gatekeeping, hmm, maybe.

So you're into 'male' stuff.  Yes that could explain the way he acted.  I have very many interests, half of them could be seen as 'male' type interests - such as radio & electronics.  I used to draw endless complex circuits as a child, and built a valve radio transmitter at 13, and ran a pirate radio station.  Males were certainly very impressed!  This is so autistic too. 

Did you know that EDS is closely linked to autism?    planetautismblog.wordpress.com/.../ 

Yet another clue!  It all adds up to me.

I'm so tired of having these soul bearing assessments and keep getting knocked back.

I know the feeling.  This happens far too often, and it shouldn't.  Training of most MH professionals in autism is abysmal.

I feel like I'll be offending the assessor personally and  might bump into him when I have my trauma therapy. Awkward!

I get like this (same building) but I've come to realise that offending people who misdiagnose is a non-issue when getting an accurate diagnosis is concerned. It's like taking a watch back to the repairers because it still doesn't work. It's their fault they're not up to the job, not yours for 'offending' them. It's difficult when these people appear to be nice people, but even so it's your life that they're playing with.

Yes, it is exhausting - and we Aspies easily get exhausted. The drop-out rate must be high, and we know the misiagnosis rate is sky high too.  I think the NAS should be doing more for women on the spectrum. If there's no local self-help group, it might be worth you and your new friend setting one up, as I'm doing, for there's a growing need for them - especially with support services being cut.

Thankyou so much for this reply I thought I was going mad.  the earliest traumatic memories I can identify is my mother berating me for having "no social skills" and other kids excluding me and mocking me for my precocious speech and odd demeanour. 

I have so much stuff that simply is not a symptom of PTSD. The way my brain constantly repeats snatches of music or speech and I have to sleep with the radio on to drown it out.   the love of shiny things, the feeling when I'm in a room full of people that is like nails down a blackboard...

it was such an odd assessment. The assessor said he had been thru it himself implying he was autistic and he kept saying how much he can relate to me and ende up saying I'm a really great and interesting person and He can see why I think I'm autistic. I don't get it. If he's autistic and very intelligent and can spot where I do or don't miss a social cue, then surely another autistic person is capable of learning these things! It kinda felt like he wanted to hang out and be friends but also like he was doing that male gatekeeping thing. I very slightly think he fancied me! It sounds egotistical but plenty of men have gone all gooey when I start talking about machinery and computers  becuase so few women are so deeply interested in those things. 

i don't know if Iv got then spoons to fight right now. im on a 6 month waiting list for trauma therapy and will get assigned a new therapist so maybe I will raise the issue with them.

I've had to fight to be diagnosed with Ehler's danlos syndrome (took 10 years) , and to then have that disability recognised by the benefits agency. I'm so tired of having these soul bearing assessments and keep getting knocked back. 

I feel like I'll be offending the assessor personally and  might bump into him wh n I have my trauma therapy. Awkward!

ugh. this is exhausting. On the upside due to chatting about it It turns out one of my sons friends mums got some way thru diagnosis before dropping out due to life getting in the way so at least by going for diagnosis and saying it out loud I've made an autistic buddy :)

Hello Hazel,

I could talk about this for hours, but I'm short of time.  This happened to me too, and is depressingly common.  I have now been properly diagnosed with autism - but it was a battle.  Most likely you are on the spectrum, and you've been misdiagnosed.  He's conveniently brushed aside key traits, and is working from the classic (male) model.  By the way, I had lots of childhood trauma too - due to being bullied because I was 'different' - i.e. had undiagnosed autism.  Certain types of childhood traumas may be due to having autism - and should be viewed by any good diagnostician with this in mind.

Many thousands of people (mainly women and girls) suffer from misdiagnoses.  You need a clinical psychologist or psychiatrist who has a wide experience of female-type Asperger's/HF autism.  The vast majority don't, and probably haven't even heard of it, and this amounts to a national scandal.  You need to ask for their diagnosis figures by gender.  I'd say that the male:female diagnosis ratio should be no more than 3:1.  It's 1:1 at one private clininc I know.  They won't like you asking for a second opinion, but it's your right - and your chance to be properly diagnosed.  The Lorna Wing Centre were very helpful to me, and I'm more or less repeating their advice.

Basically I got super nervous and went into autopilot "social" mode. I've been perfecting my act for 30 years and spent a whole year in inpatient mental health rehab literally learning how people communicate. I was taught to fake it to make it and I've stidied the vocal inflections people use.

Anyone qualified to diagnose the female presentation of AS would immediately realise that what you say here strongly suggests that you have it!  I'm just the same.

As for quasi-autism (also known as institutional autism), it's not simply caused by childhood trauma but by severe neglect and crucially having no parental attachment figure in first few years of life.  It occurs in children from institutions and in feral children (brought up by animals).  Its existence came about when Romanian orphans from Ceauceșcu's era were studied. 

Hope this helps,  Mihaela.