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Helping your child deal with a diagnosis

Mum of boys

So, my almost 13 yr old son was diagnosed yesterday and it's still sinking in.  I feel somehow a sense of relief.  I have know he was ads since he was about 5 But struggled to get a diagnosis.  He was diagnosed as adhd inattentive back then.  His recent struggles with anxiety led me back to camhs and now finally a diagnosis.   But my son does not want to hear the outcome.  Can anyone advise on how they have approached this with an older child?   Currently I am reassuring him that I am here when he wants to talk...which of course probably means little to him as he rarely 'wants' to talk

  • Thanks Clovis,   Right now I don't even know what help he may need and indeed it's from a want of not being 'different' that he doesnt want to know about the outcome of the assessment.  I think it will be some time before he may be ready to meet peers and I don't know what help might be available yet or what his specific needs are.   He does cope well in life so hopefully we may manage without too much intervention!   Time will tell...

  • I note your reply came via email and isn't visible here but it was most useful.

    Thankfully the ADHD hasn't generated too many issues or interventions but I agree,  it is when he moves to University that he will need to have the strength to confront his diagnosis and ensure that he is able to discuss any interventions that he does require in order to succeed.  For this to happen I need to work with him now to understand that the benefit for him of a diagnosis is that people may understand better that his brain doesn't always operate in the same way as everyone else and therfore he may on occassion need to ask for something to be managed or carried out differently for him.  I hope he I can encourage him to be strong and to accept his diagnosis as a difference that also has positives and not only contributes to him being the very unique and successful boy he is but can also lead to a successful education and career!

  • Thank you for your comments, they are most helpful.  I have had that very conversation with my son,  that he is no different today than he was yesterday and all this does is ensure that he gets any extra help he may want or need in the future.  It really is as much as I can offer at the moment until he feels ready to ask for information and talk.  I do worry that, as you mention, he may be struggling with some strong emotions that he isn't able to communicate.  I have played the whole thing down yesterday (diagnosis +1d) and just continued with life as normal so that he doesn't feel I am overly focussed or tip toeing around it.  I explained on the evening of his diagnosis that I wouldn't be making a big deal of it and so hopefully he realises that I am not ignoring it but only giving him his space.