My boy yet to be diagnosed and still in shock

Well, I forgot all about my comment posted on here. My son is now 2 1/2 and thought I'd give an update. He was diagnosed with Autism earlier this month after having an assessment, and he has just started going to a special nursery part-time, which he loves! I was upset at the diagnosis but had already had loads of time to come to terms with it over the past year, so wasn't too bad. We have been through some difficult moments, bad tantrums and so on, but he is showing signs of improvement. He cannot communicate through speech still and this is to be worked on, but he is saying some words, knows what things are called and can point to what he wants. He has finally mastered walking, though sometimes a little clumsy! He seems to trust me a little more in new and confusing situations and doesn't blind panic. He has become very clingy to me and usually needs to know where I am. Going to work in the morning just devastates him! :( He is more affectionate now already and will come up and give my legs a big bear hug or will lean in for a kiss on his head. He has also developed a wicked mischeviousness about him. He loves to laugh, play and be read books to. His obsession is with numbers. He can count to 30 and type beyond that on the computer. He plays games on my mobile phone. His eating has become difficult and he'll only eat certain things that he knows he likes. New things are not taken so well. But I love him more than anything in this world and he's my little angel. It is only other people's perception of the disability that can make us feel hard-done-to. If we just look at the child we have been given for who he is, nothing else matters.

Hi there, my son is 19 months old, and as a pre-school assistant i noticed autism signs way before it was noticed by anybody. When my son was in for his 12 month check with health visitor i identified some worries, for example, he wouldnt respond to his name, so we thought maybe his hearing wasnt right, we banged chairs on tables etc and he still didnt respond, but then i showed her something, when i play his favourite song on my phone (not to loud or quiet) he smiled and turned his head, this confused the health visitor so she put him in for a hearing test, hearing test was ok even though he always seems to suffer with ear infections, but still more charcteristics were developing , like repeating where he would put hoops on his thumb and tip them to fall on the floor then pick them up again to repeat, he has a very high pitch squeal, he doesnt want to play, hardly any interaction or eye contact..anyway the lady from the hearing test said to come back and she will have the peaditrician in next time...so at 18 months we went back in for another hearing test, which he wont sit down for long so difficult to do, the peaditrician was in there and he asked me how i knew what my son wanted, my answer was "motherely instinct" he doesnt point or tell me what he wants, he then asked me to pick my son up and say goodbye and leave the room for a second, which i done, and he didnt acknowledge me leaving or coming back, they also asked to take the toys away from my son, but he screamed, so they gave him one of the hoops but carried on screaming (which i knew why) and i said he has to carry 2 of things, so as soon as they gave him another hoop he stopped crying....after this appointment i have had a letter to say 'possible autism'..he has another hearing test in feb so gonna wait to see what happens then..i also work in a setting with an autistic child so i know what to expect and i know that there is alot of help and guidance out there, ...have a lovely xmas peeps xxxxx

he'll be ok i promise! whether he is autistic or not you have already started to help and support him and thats all as a mother you can do x my two children are autistic both under 3 and yes, you describe alot of symptoms my daughter had. above all dont try and resist the process you will go through as a parent of an autsitc child if that is the outcome. i wrote in my blog about it www.autismandlove.blogspot.com go to the blog called jesses diagnosis, i hope it helps you xxx

Thank you for all your kind replies. Rowan too doesn't give me a proper hug (though he used to scoot over and lie on me but doesn't anymore) or give kisses - and pushes me away when I try to kiss him. I just thought it was him being "boyish". He does not have a fear of water and likes his bathtime - though swimming pools are a bit difficult because of all the noise and commotion. It is encouraging to see stories of children still able to give love and affection once they are settled with life.

Its just such a sad feeling that I am not able to reach him through communication and comfort him as he doesn't understand and trapped in his own world. I am glad the doctors are checking him though as I probably wouldn't have even noticed anything particular wrong until much later.

Although he is still my baby boy, it is going to take time for me to come to terms with this, as my whole outlook will need to change and take into account his needs, all depending on how severe his condition may or may not be. I just want him to be happy and have the best out of life.

xxxx

Hi there RowansMum. 

My 8yo son has Autism and a lot of the traits you described could have been relating to him.  I noticed things with my lad from before he was 2 but as I'd no experience of children there were likely traits displayed beforehand that I didn't notice.

Until my son was 2.5/3 he wouldn't hug or kiss DH or I.  If we leaned towards him to kiss him we got a hand shoved in the face.  Now, however, he's very affectionate, frequently telling us he loves us and giving loads of hugs and kisses.  Tbh, when I take his younger sibling to nursery he always runs up to me to give us both a cuddle and walks through the playground holding my hand and snuggling in.  I love it, especially as his 6yo sibling (who's currently undiagnosed but shows traits of Aspergers) won't acknowledge me in school.

Hope that helps.  GGx

Hi, just to let you know that if autism is genetic then it wouldn't be applicable to a particular gender. Essentially, anyone could have it. Personally I reckon I got my gene from my dad, as my aunt on his side of the family has a son who's also autistic/high functioning.

All in all don't blame yourself or your partner, as either of your ancestors could have had the autistic gene, but in those days it wouldn't have been recognised as autism.

My son had a lot of those traits, some he didn't (he is Autistic, 5 years old now). I have read that there is a suspected genetic link for autism but never heard it was only through the mother. Austism is more likely to be found in males, so I think the reverse would be true, but then I am not a Doctor/scientist! I would speak to your GP first as I think that's the best way to get referred on to specialists. I have just finished reading a book called "The Autisitc Spectrum" by Lorna Wing which is a great introduction to the subject.

You just decribed my daughter. She has pretty much all of the same traits as your son and she is also 19 months old. She doesn't utter a single word, and has only just started to feel confident enough to walk (only around the house mind). She will only eat certain foods, out of certain bowls - fed to by us. She will only feed herself finger food, and most of that gets thrown on the floor. 

I have never had a proper cuddle from her or a kiss, and she pushes me and my husband away when we try and comfort her. She rocks back and forth anywhere she can to hit her head, that can be very painful to watch- although I dont think she feels pain from it herself. 

I have been pushing for someone to take me and my concerns seriously since she was 9 months old, and finally someone did. She was refered to the Peadiatrics team in November and they have since referred her to CDC (child development centre) and her appointment is on the 28th Feb. 

Does you little lad have a fear of water by any chance?

 xx