How do you know?!?

Imcc6,

It isn't at all clear or obvioius, from your description, that your son is affected. Equally, it isn't possible to say that he isn't affected. Diagnosis through a discussion forum is not actually possible although some people post very clear and comprehensive pictures of people with autism but you haven't really done that. I think that you should have a proper conversation with your mother about what she thinks might be an issue.

@em5 Autism varies massively between individuals. Some people are severely affected but they are often affected by other issues. Some people find the autism itself causes big problems but others have quite normal independent lives and you are likely to have come across some who you may just have thought of as a bit eccentric.

Hi. We are a bit further on than you as our son has just turned 4. We are undergoing the assessment at the moment but the final diagnosis or not won't be until June. Our family acted similarly. I know your pain! Friends however used to say he was normal and their kid did the same which was equally frustrating as I knew it wasn't the same. 

My husband is still hoping they won't diagnose but I'm kind of convinced he is. It will still be a struggle though and difficult to accept. Plenty more tears to come I'm guessing! I hope you get some answers soon. Xx

Hi recombinantstocks

Thank you for your reply, when I met with the nursery they told me he didn’t play with the other children, his speech wasn’t great and he seemed to get upset with changes i.e. when they first went outside to play etc., but after a little encouragement he joined in. When he is at home, he loves one to one and yes looks in my eyes, in fact if I ignore him he pulls my face to look at his. He has a great imagination and does love playing by himself, however he does play with my older children when they can be bothered! In fact, during Halloween I took him to a family party and he joined in well and loved the fireworks. I spent today in the nursery to see first hand what they had seen and the truth is I didn’t see him act any differently from any other child, for example if he played at the sand table and other children where also there but non of the other children where interacting with each other, they where more interested in playing with the sand. I also had found he was very sensitive to bright lights but I took him to the opticians and they have told me his is long sited which would explain why he doesn’t like bright lights.

I am just so confused as I don’t want to burry my head in the sand but I don’t want to look into every small detail and think it means something else. Is it normal to feel a sense of guilt? My son is my only child to have been in full time child care and I wonder has this not helped his speech and gave him a fear of being left on his own.

The one thing that upsets me the most is when I told my family (mother & brothers) there 1st reaction was that they where not surprised and they felt there was something just not quite right with my son. That broke my heart as in my eyes he is perfect and I can’t see what they see. I’m just in limbo land at present until I get his 1st review over with and hopefully get more definite information. x

Hi Imcc6,

Welcome to the forum. Autism is not obvious to most people so don't worry about not noticing anything.

Nursery may have noticed that he doesn't play sociably with other children so much. Does he prefer to play on his own rather than joining in with other childrens' spretend play? He may not respond to the staff by paying attention to how they are expressing themselves. He may not take notice of facial expressions and may not make eye contact. Does he look you in the eye and smile when you smile, does he know from your expression when you are cross?