Confused Mother who wants to learn...

Well, you're right of course, there is no definition of normal, only a general public perception, it seems.

Erm, I'm not sure what to make of a teacher who cries when you talk to her, she'd be more use taking her responsibilities seriously. She not only sees your son all day, but clearly has something to add to the picture of your boy already. She isn't qualified to interpret anything OR decide on how important it might or might not be. There are more helpful strategies she can adopt.

Teachers generally wouldn't see many ASD children, and it wouldn't be right to expect them to know what they're seeing, but if they only report unusual behaviours properly you've at least got the chance to build up that picture between you.

Maths is a common Aspie skill, we seem to like numbers, they're logical and predictable. Be careful of the 'reading' skills, we commonly read well and use 'big' words, but our understanding can be deficient. An easy one to watch for is if he uses an 'advanced' word or phrase innapropriately when he's chatting.

Good luck with it all, stay cool, be well

Thank you for replying. Oh no my name haha i didn't see that.. it actually says 'Theres no such thing as normal' i thought it was just a quote or something you had to put on your profile, OOOOPS!

Yes your right, school are actually starting to cover their backs now. Saying one thing and then another. I actually made his teacher cry. She told me she doesnt think there is anything wrong and didnt see why she had to fill in the conners questionnaire, i replied okay on what grounds have you come to those decisions? are you a medic? or a teacher? 

She burst out crying and told me the sob story about how she understands how i feel as mother and it must be difficult. To then telling me shes seen my son bang his head numerous times, and this that the classroom fits his learning needs as its pretty much freeflow all day. WHAT? you just contradicted yourself there?

Anyhow yes im coming to terms with it, i shout less now. The melotonin helps, we all wake up refreshed and its starting to become a less stressed household. Although my boy loves being outside so im sure the warm weather adds to this. He can be outside from school to bed. 

I am researching my ass off lol, literally im looking at everything. One positive i got back from school is hes exceeding in his maths, above national average and his reading too. Proud of him, hes got a special treat for that.

Thank you and i will ask you guys anything i don't know or understand

p.s. The last message IS the short, edited version *chortle*

HI

Firstly, would you like to change your user name to something we can actually call you, please? And thank you for editing your post, that's very ASD, LOL!

OK. Please allow me to congratulate you on potentialy having a very special child. You may now called on to be an exceptional Mum, and I can see that you're 99% there already.

Schools love to 'blame the parents' - it seems a common experience. I know that mine were, and clearly your experience of school is the same. I DO NOT trust anyone who says one thing in one place, and entirely another in another place. It is dishonest, and may well harm your child. Also, teachers are taught how to teach (some of them are even interested!) not to diagnose. However, that doesn't absolve them of their responsibilities to report their observations fairly and accurately, so you should see some fine a**e covering from them now.

Given what you've obviously been through with him, it is hardly surprising that you feel the way that you do. I hope that you've got over your initial reaction and that you're settling into your 'new' role. Actually the same role, but with a new and more important perspective

To more important matters. If the diagnosis is confirmed, it will open up some possibilities for you. My best advice to you right now would be to get yourself informed from this website. Between the online pages, and this forum, you might see things in your son that you've never seen or interpreted in the best way.

ASK. This is most important. Any little aspect of his behaviour could be significant, but you won't necessarily know yet. There are plenty of us here that know the abuse, scorn and ridicule that ASD attracts, and we are very keen to get early diagnoses so that our children can be properly protected. So ask, and we will tell you.

Elsewhere on here we are discussing useful publications. I am a fan of Tony Attwood and recommend a copy of his 'The Complete Guide to Asperger's Syndrome'. Please don't think that Asperger's is a separate condition, and please don't fall for the 'higher functioning' description. ASD is ASD no matter where we are on the spectrum, so many aspects are common to all.

The diagnosis is NOT a death sentence, it's a life affirmation. Your relationship with your son may be slighlty different - different does not mean worse. Good luck with the process, and come back soon!

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