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Confused Mother who wants to learn...

There's no such thing as normal

Hi Everyone, 

I'm new to this site but i'd really like some advice.. I'll keep it short as i know posts can get way too long.

Short story: My son is 6

                 I always knew something wasn't 'right' from the age of 2, i was told my family members my son was fine so did nothing.

2 years ago i went to my GP with sleepings problems and tics (eye blinking) was told relaxation CD's

Fast forward January 2015, went to my GP for tics(eyes,facial,vocal) not sleeping and behaviour (obsessions e.g a fear of his teeth falling out, refused to eat, cleaned his teeth at any given time, even left the cinema because he was scared that much, just to come home to clean his teeth.. resulted in me calling 101 and getting a nurse to reassure him from our local out of hours doctors) There is way more to list but thats one example.

Referred to Paed, 1st met my son,Conners sent out to school and myself. 

2nd appointment met my son,referred to CAMHS

3rd appointment met my son,Melotonin prescribed as he shares a room with his younger sister and was affecting us all.

4th appointment met my son, spoke about how things were going

Met with CAMHS worker.met my son

Went to CAMHS appointment on my own more indepth session of concerns.

Paed rang me and explained she would like to do a development session with me.

School wrote to PAED, state they have NO issues.

Parents evening at school. School inform me my son is to go on report for his behaviour. He makes 'bad' choices and forces children to do right when they do wrong instead of asking for teachers help. Also finds it difficult to manage his emotions, hates being told off and the thought of being a failure, tries to people please. And is a perfectionist in his work so much so it detracts him from the subject and enjoyment of learning. Does not like to work for long, often seen banging his hand on his head although classroom is very much free flow all day so isnt expected to sit down for no longer than 10 minutes at a time.

But yet school have NO issues, i questioned everything they said and confronted them saying i know exactly what they said to my PAED, but that does NOT reflect what i have just heard. My son is to go report and finds it difficult to manage his emotions???? 

I informed my PAED of this information and a more indepth form was sent to school.

Meet with PAED last friday, development forms completed. Informed PAED the tics were getting worse, he know rubs shoulder on ear and complains of neck ache.

End of session the PAED explained she had spoken to a colleague and she is thinking Aspergers. 

Complete and utter shock, i did not cry. I just nodded. PAED informs me she is to wait for the completed forms from school, if it is useless she would like me to meet with her colleague who specialises in Tics and will ask for a report from her to gather information for a diagnosis. 

I don't know how i am feeling, shock, upset, guilt... I really don't know. I cried in the car all the way home. 

I am so angry with school, so angry! They say he has lots of friends, and i see he does, they tend to be older children however he plays with children, which is why i was lead to believe autism was ruled out. Maybe some anxiety issues.. OCD.. 

I want to learn everything... I suppose this is why i write this post. 

If school dont comply will it be harder for my PAED? 

I know i said this was going to be a short post LOL, i guess i got carried away but would you believe me if i said this IS the short version.

Thank you if you got this far

xxx

Parents

  • HI

    Firstly, would you like to change your user name to something we can actually call you, please? And thank you for editing your post, that's very ASD, LOL!

    OK. Please allow me to congratulate you on potentialy having a very special child. You may now called on to be an exceptional Mum, and I can see that you're 99% there already.

    Schools love to 'blame the parents' - it seems a common experience. I know that mine were, and clearly your experience of school is the same. I DO NOT trust anyone who says one thing in one place, and entirely another in another place. It is dishonest, and may well harm your child. Also, teachers are taught how to teach (some of them are even interested!) not to diagnose. However, that doesn't absolve them of their responsibilities to report their observations fairly and accurately, so you should see some fine a**e covering from them now.

    Given what you've obviously been through with him, it is hardly surprising that you feel the way that you do. I hope that you've got over your initial reaction and that you're settling into your 'new' role. Actually the same role, but with a new and more important perspective Smile

    To more important matters. If the diagnosis is confirmed, it will open up some possibilities for you. My best advice to you right now would be to get yourself informed from this website. Between the online pages, and this forum, you might see things in your son that you've never seen or interpreted in the best way.

    ASK. This is most important. Any little aspect of his behaviour could be significant, but you won't necessarily know yet. There are plenty of us here that know the abuse, scorn and ridicule that ASD attracts, and we are very keen to get early diagnoses so that our children can be properly protected. So ask, and we will tell you.

    Elsewhere on here we are discussing useful publications. I am a fan of Tony Attwood and recommend a copy of his 'The Complete Guide to Asperger's Syndrome'. Please don't think that Asperger's is a separate condition, and please don't fall for the 'higher functioning' description. ASD is ASD no matter where we are on the spectrum, so many aspects are common to all.

    The diagnosis is NOT a death sentence, it's a life affirmation. Your relationship with your son may be slighlty different - different does not mean worse. Good luck with the process, and come back soon!

    Welcome to our world Smile

Reply

  • HI

    Firstly, would you like to change your user name to something we can actually call you, please? And thank you for editing your post, that's very ASD, LOL!

    OK. Please allow me to congratulate you on potentialy having a very special child. You may now called on to be an exceptional Mum, and I can see that you're 99% there already.

    Schools love to 'blame the parents' - it seems a common experience. I know that mine were, and clearly your experience of school is the same. I DO NOT trust anyone who says one thing in one place, and entirely another in another place. It is dishonest, and may well harm your child. Also, teachers are taught how to teach (some of them are even interested!) not to diagnose. However, that doesn't absolve them of their responsibilities to report their observations fairly and accurately, so you should see some fine a**e covering from them now.

    Given what you've obviously been through with him, it is hardly surprising that you feel the way that you do. I hope that you've got over your initial reaction and that you're settling into your 'new' role. Actually the same role, but with a new and more important perspective Smile

    To more important matters. If the diagnosis is confirmed, it will open up some possibilities for you. My best advice to you right now would be to get yourself informed from this website. Between the online pages, and this forum, you might see things in your son that you've never seen or interpreted in the best way.

    ASK. This is most important. Any little aspect of his behaviour could be significant, but you won't necessarily know yet. There are plenty of us here that know the abuse, scorn and ridicule that ASD attracts, and we are very keen to get early diagnoses so that our children can be properly protected. So ask, and we will tell you.

    Elsewhere on here we are discussing useful publications. I am a fan of Tony Attwood and recommend a copy of his 'The Complete Guide to Asperger's Syndrome'. Please don't think that Asperger's is a separate condition, and please don't fall for the 'higher functioning' description. ASD is ASD no matter where we are on the spectrum, so many aspects are common to all.

    The diagnosis is NOT a death sentence, it's a life affirmation. Your relationship with your son may be slighlty different - different does not mean worse. Good luck with the process, and come back soon!

    Welcome to our world Smile

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