Do you ever feel like your parenting is being questioned?

It was me, unfortunately you take a lot of things very personally when you have a specail child, i dont know about everyone else but i always feel like your being judged as a parent.

His teacher has been amazing in so many ways,shes picked up on a lot of things other teachers havent, i shouldnt have doubted her.

We are awaiting the Ot report and i will update then.

I wouldn't worry about what the school says. 

Last year we were being told by my daughter's school that she MUST be unhappy at home, because she was unhappy when she went to school. Their attitude towards us got really out of hand in the end. In the end, she told us that she was being bullied at school by her 'friends', and that her teacher had said he didn't care when she tried to tell him one of the girls had slapped her in the face. We were so gutted for her, realising that she had been going through all that by herself. The school absolutely refused to listen so in the end we moved her to a different school and she is now much happier. 

I realise that's a different situation, but schools don't always get it right, even though many would like to think they do. 

Recombined socks that is very very true, everyone could always be better at something, i was just feeling a little peeved and probably with no reason either.

Moonriver i keep all corospondence anyway, i will just have to wait and see what comes out in this report.

Thanks for the advice everyone, its always nice to be put back on track. xx

I think this is a really important topic in my personal experience it is while a child with ASD is at school and I only have Mainstream school experience with my own child that the behaviour problems occur.  I have never met any parent yet with an ASD child that doesn't have problems at home whilst school age.  Especially the early years.  Schools in my opinion always say its not them its always the mothers.  I've seen it all before keep copies of all correspondence between school and home and any appointments with Health professionals.  Get your concerns documented and keep copies.

Good Luck

MO4B,

I know no more about your parenting ability than Longman knows. I don't know if you are brilliant, average or struggling. Most people will be offended if their parenting skills are doubted but is it possible that there are ways that you could change what happens at home to reduce the conflict and chaos that you describe?

It is equally unlikely that your son's teachers are perfect. Everybody can improve everything they do with coaching and practice.

Well Longman i am hopng that the OT will still put in her report what she said and hope she hasnt been put off, perhaps i am just being paranoid, we have had a long hard battle to try and get anywhere.

Don't let it get to you. We need to get this phenomenon into the training of special needs and other support services in schools.

Peer pressure is considerable, and any child on the spectrum learns that the way to avoid trouble is to try to conform as much as possible. You try not to show up badly because that increases the isolation and ridicule. You try not to do anything that upsets the teacher pupil relationship from the pupil perspective, because other kids will make it that clear to you what happens if you don't. You don't ask questions of any kind that might delay getting out at break etc.

So the only place to let off steam is at home, where you feel more secure. OK it was a long time ago for me, but teaching adults gave me a continued insight into peer pressure when there is a disabled student in the room, and I had enough contact with classroom contexts to understand it from other angles.

So exactly what is it that teachers see that enables them to have an opinion? They see them formally in class, and formally in the corridors, and maybe at a distance supposedly supervising recreation.

They don't see what goes on when teachers are not present in classrooms or corridors, what goes on in toilets, cloak-rooms, changing rooms, routes to outdoor sports, routes to and from home - to be honest any real contact with the kind of issues impacting on a child on the spectrum.

Yet though this must crop up often enough, there is no representatuion of it in special needs training.

Dare I ask is this in any NAS training packages aimed at education?