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Do you ever feel like your parenting is being questioned?

mumof4boys772

So today we saw a private occupational therapist that school have bought in, i have a chat with her and she says my son will need a sensory diet ect ect, i also said to her i did not understand why there was a huge difference in behaviour rom home to school.

Anyway went in and spoke to teacher this afternoon and asked how it went, she said that shes said to the ot perhaps its home because they have no problems in school, which now makes me think that they think its my parenting and by goslly olly do i feel bad now.

Parents

  • Don't let it get to you. We need to get this phenomenon into the training of special needs and other support services in schools.

    Peer pressure is considerable, and any child on the spectrum learns that the way to avoid trouble is to try to conform as much as possible. You try not to show up badly because that increases the isolation and ridicule. You try not to do anything that upsets the teacher pupil relationship from the pupil perspective, because other kids will make it that clear to you what happens if you don't. You don't ask questions of any kind that might delay getting out at break etc.

    So the only place to let off steam is at home, where you feel more secure. OK it was a long time ago for me, but teaching adults gave me a continued insight into peer pressure when there is a disabled student in the room, and I had enough contact with classroom contexts to understand it from other angles.

    So exactly what is it that teachers see that enables them to have an opinion? They see them formally in class, and formally in the corridors, and maybe at a distance supposedly supervising recreation.

    They don't see what goes on when teachers are not present in classrooms or corridors, what goes on in toilets, cloak-rooms, changing rooms, routes to outdoor sports, routes to and from home - to be honest any real contact with the kind of issues impacting on a child on the spectrum.

    Yet though this must crop up often enough, there is no representatuion of it in special needs training.

    Dare I ask is this in any NAS training packages aimed at education?

Reply

  • Don't let it get to you. We need to get this phenomenon into the training of special needs and other support services in schools.

    Peer pressure is considerable, and any child on the spectrum learns that the way to avoid trouble is to try to conform as much as possible. You try not to show up badly because that increases the isolation and ridicule. You try not to do anything that upsets the teacher pupil relationship from the pupil perspective, because other kids will make it that clear to you what happens if you don't. You don't ask questions of any kind that might delay getting out at break etc.

    So the only place to let off steam is at home, where you feel more secure. OK it was a long time ago for me, but teaching adults gave me a continued insight into peer pressure when there is a disabled student in the room, and I had enough contact with classroom contexts to understand it from other angles.

    So exactly what is it that teachers see that enables them to have an opinion? They see them formally in class, and formally in the corridors, and maybe at a distance supposedly supervising recreation.

    They don't see what goes on when teachers are not present in classrooms or corridors, what goes on in toilets, cloak-rooms, changing rooms, routes to outdoor sports, routes to and from home - to be honest any real contact with the kind of issues impacting on a child on the spectrum.

    Yet though this must crop up often enough, there is no representatuion of it in special needs training.

    Dare I ask is this in any NAS training packages aimed at education?

Children
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