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Desperate for help and advice

Lucie2011

Hello I am new to this and need advice help or anything really

My son who is 3 displays many ADHD/ASD/PDA symptoms and life is becoming increasingly unbearable with his jeckle and hyde meltdowns and behaviour. He had a brief assesment when he was 2 and they borderlined outlined Social disoirder possible however wont review for at least another year

his meltdowns and behaviour are getting worse, he flies of the handle for no reason, he doesnt stay asleep, he hates change and brocken routine. He never gives eye contact and constantly defies me or refuses to do simple requests, we have abehaviour therapist and even she says we have tried everything i am using her techniques which work to a degree however they are fastly being tested more and more by him, i am exceptionally consistent in my discipline.

he struggles with peers his own age although will play with them but this is short lived often resulting in him hitting or throwing something at them, this could be because he does not know how to engage in what they are doing and this is his way of venting frustration

i feel like i have been passed around the houses with him and am sick of being looked at like i am a bad parent - its hreartbreaking to watch my son have  a 2-3 hour meltdown hes so upset afterwards like he doesnt know why hes done it

he can be good as gold and exceptionally affectionate one minute and the smallest of things can set him off

he hates sudden noise, sarcasm etc this will trigger him as he doesnt seem to grasp it

can anyone suggest where i go next i call the GP weekly they ask for a faster assesment but I am not taken seriously

he goes to a child care providor and they also have concerns for his development/behaviour

everytime i feel that i may get somehwere im back to sqaure 1

any help is greatly appreciated

thanks

  • Thank you I will read up on the site. I just feel terribly sorry for my little boy who is the one struggling. It's so unfair that he isn't being offered better help ... from reading it's a postcode lottery with wait times and what can be offered etc x

  • Sounds like you need support for you too?

    Have you ever considered counselling just for yourself with someone who does understand autism? 

    In those sessions you could perhaps work out some kind of action plan to help you through.

    Sad to say but may be GP are taking you seriously in that there is not much more they can do to speed up the second assessment.  Phone the helpline number advertised on this site and speak to them about how to speed it up and how to plan to help you through. You can book a phone appoinment.

    But you can read up tips on this site that may help you to plan to realise that you can put things into place to help both you and your son to learn to manage each time.

  • Thank you for the reply.the GP only ever asks for him to be seen sooner but they never allow it.  The childcare provider understands autism and adhd. She's fantastic. All of what u have mentioned above are about my son.. apart from the touch sensitive.  I'm so frustrated with lack of support. I know in my heart he displays so many autystic symptoms but noone seems to apart from his childcare provider take me seriously. ... I feel at a complete dead end 

  • Hi - welcome to the site.  Is the behaviour therapist an expert in autism?  Also, meltdowns always have a reason, even if we don't know what it is, even if the autistic person can't explain.  How much does your child care provider understand about autism - how well trained are they?  And yes, being autistic will make it difficult for him to grasp sarcasm.  Noise sensitivities will cause him a great deal of distress also.  If you haven't already, check out the home pg + the posts. There's lots of info so have a good look around.  It will help you help your child.  As you acknowledge, routine is so very important + even the smallest change can be dreadfully upsetting to some autistic people.  What I learnt over the years was what seemed inconseuquential to me (a non-autistic person), didn't mean it was inconsequential to my autistic son.  In the beginning I saw him through "non-autistic eyes" so was quite unsympathetic to his distress.  I am ashamed of that now, which was because of my lack of knowledge.  Now I see he has many habits which help to stabilise him in a confusing world.  Little things, like how he folds his clothes, the regular route he takes whilst out, the order he gets ready.  His noise sensitivity which can make things unbearable for him sometimes.  Imagine a noise you really dislike, then multiply it by 10, then you get some idea of how they feel.  The same with skin sensitivity (if it applies to him), tastes, textures.  I'm not saying he has all these sensory issues, just using examples.  So, learn all you can about how autism affects him as an individual.  The home page shd be of some help so access it before you get back in touch with your GP. Smile