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Desperate for help and advice

Lucie2011

Hello I am new to this and need advice help or anything really

My son who is 3 displays many ADHD/ASD/PDA symptoms and life is becoming increasingly unbearable with his jeckle and hyde meltdowns and behaviour. He had a brief assesment when he was 2 and they borderlined outlined Social disoirder possible however wont review for at least another year

his meltdowns and behaviour are getting worse, he flies of the handle for no reason, he doesnt stay asleep, he hates change and brocken routine. He never gives eye contact and constantly defies me or refuses to do simple requests, we have abehaviour therapist and even she says we have tried everything i am using her techniques which work to a degree however they are fastly being tested more and more by him, i am exceptionally consistent in my discipline.

he struggles with peers his own age although will play with them but this is short lived often resulting in him hitting or throwing something at them, this could be because he does not know how to engage in what they are doing and this is his way of venting frustration

i feel like i have been passed around the houses with him and am sick of being looked at like i am a bad parent - its hreartbreaking to watch my son have  a 2-3 hour meltdown hes so upset afterwards like he doesnt know why hes done it

he can be good as gold and exceptionally affectionate one minute and the smallest of things can set him off

he hates sudden noise, sarcasm etc this will trigger him as he doesnt seem to grasp it

can anyone suggest where i go next i call the GP weekly they ask for a faster assesment but I am not taken seriously

he goes to a child care providor and they also have concerns for his development/behaviour

everytime i feel that i may get somehwere im back to sqaure 1

any help is greatly appreciated

thanks

Parents

  • Hi - welcome to the site.  Is the behaviour therapist an expert in autism?  Also, meltdowns always have a reason, even if we don't know what it is, even if the autistic person can't explain.  How much does your child care provider understand about autism - how well trained are they?  And yes, being autistic will make it difficult for him to grasp sarcasm.  Noise sensitivities will cause him a great deal of distress also.  If you haven't already, check out the home pg + the posts. There's lots of info so have a good look around.  It will help you help your child.  As you acknowledge, routine is so very important + even the smallest change can be dreadfully upsetting to some autistic people.  What I learnt over the years was what seemed inconseuquential to me (a non-autistic person), didn't mean it was inconsequential to my autistic son.  In the beginning I saw him through "non-autistic eyes" so was quite unsympathetic to his distress.  I am ashamed of that now, which was because of my lack of knowledge.  Now I see he has many habits which help to stabilise him in a confusing world.  Little things, like how he folds his clothes, the regular route he takes whilst out, the order he gets ready.  His noise sensitivity which can make things unbearable for him sometimes.  Imagine a noise you really dislike, then multiply it by 10, then you get some idea of how they feel.  The same with skin sensitivity (if it applies to him), tastes, textures.  I'm not saying he has all these sensory issues, just using examples.  So, learn all you can about how autism affects him as an individual.  The home page shd be of some help so access it before you get back in touch with your GP. Smile

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  • Hi - welcome to the site.  Is the behaviour therapist an expert in autism?  Also, meltdowns always have a reason, even if we don't know what it is, even if the autistic person can't explain.  How much does your child care provider understand about autism - how well trained are they?  And yes, being autistic will make it difficult for him to grasp sarcasm.  Noise sensitivities will cause him a great deal of distress also.  If you haven't already, check out the home pg + the posts. There's lots of info so have a good look around.  It will help you help your child.  As you acknowledge, routine is so very important + even the smallest change can be dreadfully upsetting to some autistic people.  What I learnt over the years was what seemed inconseuquential to me (a non-autistic person), didn't mean it was inconsequential to my autistic son.  In the beginning I saw him through "non-autistic eyes" so was quite unsympathetic to his distress.  I am ashamed of that now, which was because of my lack of knowledge.  Now I see he has many habits which help to stabilise him in a confusing world.  Little things, like how he folds his clothes, the regular route he takes whilst out, the order he gets ready.  His noise sensitivity which can make things unbearable for him sometimes.  Imagine a noise you really dislike, then multiply it by 10, then you get some idea of how they feel.  The same with skin sensitivity (if it applies to him), tastes, textures.  I'm not saying he has all these sensory issues, just using examples.  So, learn all you can about how autism affects him as an individual.  The home page shd be of some help so access it before you get back in touch with your GP. Smile

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