Possible Health Problems with Autism (Please try not to read if easily worried or upset)

I have imaginary conversations with people. I say what I want to say, and say in my head what I think they would reply. If it goes ok, then I may venture to talk to the person in reality. If it spirals down into an arguement, I get angry, upset etc just as you do, and then I avoid speaking to that person in real life. The voices are just our own thoughts, not some external thing. You can just say STOP, this is destructive, think about something more pleasant, and it goes away. I do not believe this is what is meant by the term "hearing voices". I believe there are those who really do hear things and see things due to scitsophrenia. We just try and work out what may happen in any situation, before we embark on it. This is our internal "self talk", and quite normal.

Draco Multus said:

Yes, I understand it can be difficult to pinpoint the issue if I do not fully explain (if I understood correctly). Basically, I've never been like this my entire life (except the autism of course). I have however, taken out my anger and frustration out on people like I used to live with like my Dad who I do not get on with anymore. I was put in custody due to the way I behaved against him (with a knife). Worringly, I feel a sense of power, control when I am angry as if I am my own God.

It sounds as though you are in a bad place with your thoughts at the moment. Can you think of this a bit like a normal physical problem like if you have a cold. you don't expect the cold to last forever and I don't think you should expect the bad thoughts to last forever either. Perhaps, you can think of it like a storm that will pass. In a sense, I think it is a good thing that you are worried about the sense of power. You know that it is wrong and I think that shows some healthy awareness of yourself.

Do you think that your Dad has some of the traits of autism? This would not be surprising as it is often passed from generation to generation? I now think that my Dad had some of the problems too and so did his father. Often, when you get two people with undiagnosed autism it can be a very bad situation as neither is able to understand the other due to both having communication problems.

I should also mention this to you guys in case yourselves or anybody else has heard of this at all:

I do not think I hear voices. Instead I imagine arguments in my head between me and somebody else. However, sometimes I can definitely hear what they MAY say to me, and what I MAY say back. This increases my adrenaline, then I begin to feel angry instantly and picture myself lashing out. As for what I visualise, again it is purely through imagination, again not wanted. Seems to me a form of intrusion as my CBT therapists have explained over the last few months. So technically, although these may not be the sorts of voices people may have in their own minds - these are the sorts I am definitely going through. This is exactly what causes me to feel the way I feel, without a shadow of a doubt. And this by the way, is without analysing it too much.

Hearing voices is, apparently, very common and it is not a sign of anything particular unless you take the voices very seriously and you do as they say and do bad things. People with ASD often get unstoppable thoughts that seem to go round and round in ones head. I found this a problem last year when I was really stressed and unhappy. I have now got to a better place mentally and I have less of these problems.

I also tend to spend, spend, spend. It is retail therapy, which makes me feel great at the time but later, when I receive a lecture from like my Mum, it makes me angry towards her and myself even though, I know deep down she is trying to help.

I think that it is probably good that you are aware of this as a problem. It isn't possible to do anything about it until you recognise the problem. You need to get back to having more control and consideration about only spending money when you can afford it.

I am trying to find more and more interests as the days go by. I think of some, then again I do not seem to be that bothered. I still have two fresh tins of pencils I was given by my Mum weeks ago before I was evicted from my parents home.

Living on your own can be very good for you as you have to work things out for yourself. My eldest son grew up a lot when he left after we well out. He now is much more considerate and is really independent and works things out for himself. Perhaps you can see the situation as an opportunity to prove that you can be independent?

Drugs do nothing for me. Ok, I sometimes forget to take them, but it's pressure remembering to take them which frankly, I feel I can do without.

If you have tried the drugs properly and given them a chance to work by taking them regularly then you may find that they don't help you much or at all. Some people on the forum find that some drugs are good so I wouldn't ignore them altogether.

I used to prior to Marjorie's input, be very fanatical about long distance running and still am - have thoughts going back. I am also looking into getting into kick scooting for much longer distances than I used to run as well.

I've just discovered kick scooting. (at the age of 57!) I broke my leg and after it was mended I have found that the scooter is really good for getting about more :-)

As for my general lifestyle, yes I do enjoy things - but usually I find they begin to be for the benefit of others (as I think) to impress, then later that is what gives me a great sense of achievement and enjoyment as others praise me which lead to me being happy nearly everyday.

It's good to have a mix of different things to enjoy. It is good when others appreciate the things you do  but sometimes its nice when you do something for yourself.

I like your four bullet post on intense interests, recombinantsocks. I'll think carefully over this through the course of next week.

Glad you liked it. I like responding to peoples questions because it makes me think. Also, it is like you said that it's nice to do things that people appreciate.

Thanks again. Sorry that my reply is a little jumbled up, by the way.

I think that we (people with ASD) do jumble things up and we don't think in nice neat lists of ideas. I think this is called associative thinking and it can be good as we get to think things that other people don't think.

Hey,

Thanks for getting back to me both of you.

Yes, I understand it can be difficult to pinpoint the issue if I do not fully explain (if I understood correctly). Basically, I've never been like this my entire life (except the autism of course). I have however, taken out my anger and frustration out on people like I used to live with like my Dad who I do not get on with anymore. I was put in custody due to the way I behaved against him (with a knife). Worringly, I feel a sense of power, control when I am angry as if I am my own God.

I should also mention this to you guys in case yourselves or anybody else has heard of this at all:

I do not think I hear voices. Instead I imagine arguments in my head between me and somebody else. However, sometimes I can definitely hear what they MAY say to me, and what I MAY say back. This increases my adrenaline, then I begin to feel angry instantly and picture myself lashing out. As for what I visualise, again it is purely through imagination, again not wanted. Seems to me a form of intrusion as my CBT therapists have explained over the last few months. So technically, although these may not be the sorts of voices people may have in their own minds - these are the sorts I am definitely going through. This is exactly what causes me to feel the way I feel, without a shadow of a doubt. And this by the way, is without analysing it too much.

I also tend to spend, spend, spend. It is retail therapy, which makes me feel great at the time but later, when I receive a lecture from like my Mum, it makes me angry towards her and myself even though, I know deep down she is trying to help.

I am trying to find more and more interests as the days go by. I think of some, then again I do not seem to be that bothered. I still have two fresh tins of pencils I was given by my Mum weeks ago before I was evicted from my parents home.

Drugs do nothing for me. Ok, I sometimes forget to take them, but it's pressure remembering to take them which frankly, I feel I can do without.

I used to prior to Marjorie's input, be very fanatical about long distance running and still am - have thoughts going back. I am also looking into getting into kick scooting for much longer distances than I used to run as well.

As for my general lifestyle, yes I do enjoy things - but usually I find they begin to be for the benefit of others (as I think) to impress, then later that is what gives me a great sense of achievement and enjoyment as others praise me which lead to me being happy nearly everyday.

I like your four bullet post on intense interests, recombinantsocks. I'll think carefully over this through the course of next week.

Thanks again. Sorry that my reply is a little jumbled up, by the way.

Hi Draco,

Obsessional behaviour and thoughts are fairly normal with ASD. Our brains have a tendency to go for "all or nothing" ways of dealing with things so some thoughts get stuck and just keep going round and round in our heads.

You shouldn't think that you are stuck with this way of thinking because you have ASD. It is a tendency but it does not have to take charge and exclude better thoughts.

Some of your examples sound as though you are actually depressed. This is very common in people with ASD, it is good to get help when your thoughts get really bad - these thoughts are not inevitable and they can be brought back to normal by therapy. Mainly this involves talking to people - which means learning to listen as well as learning to talk more constructively!

A lot of us end up with limited social activities and this leaves a greater space for the bad thoughts to take root and get stuck.

It is good that you have recognised that some of these things are bad thoughts but it is also not good to become obsessional about having bad thoughts. Try and encourage good thoughts and activities and you may well find that the bad thoughts get reduced time and they will become less of a problem.

Physical activities, as Marjorie suggests, are good as it is difficult to keep thinking about bad things so continuously if you are out and

a) have to concentrate on not tripping over,

b) can look out for wildlife or the scenery

c) when you finish it you can feel good for having achieved something positive.

I have cycled a lot over the years and have enjoyed it a lot as it can get you out into the countryside and it doesn't cost much to do and cycles are also interesting devices that appeal to my way of thinking.

Drugs often don't do much for people with ASD but some people on the forum do find them useful from time to time. Personally I avoid them and have managed to work through a lot of issues since I was diagnosed with ASD.

Lots of people on the forum have intense interests in particular hobbies or subjects that they are studying. I think it is good if one can have several things. 

- something to puzzle over where you can keep solving problems,
- something which you can do just for fun because you like doing it or you like the results - cookery and healthy eating would be a good example (as long as you don't go for too much or too little food - this is a common problem for ASD people
- something with some social contact

Hi Draco, welcome to the forum.

I have experienced many of those feelings, when I was depressed. No. 3 I am not familiar with. I was very depressed when I was bullied and no one believed me.

Have you talked to your doctor about this, modern antidepressents may make you feel better. You could also try the Samaritans.

I often found that physical activity such as walking or running, helped me most. I know it is difficult to get started, but often you find that once you have done it for a while, you feel a bit better and are glad you made the effort.

I can say that life is better for me now and that you will feel better when you recover from the depression, if that is the problem. You may think that those around you don't really care, but they do and maybe just don't know what to do or say to make you feel better.

You could tell us what it is that makes you feel this bad. Maybe someone here will have had similar experiences and offer some suggestions.

Best wishes