Adult diagnosis of Asperger's?

Hi thank you i will

Hi Joseph, I think you maybe mean't this as a new subject? You go to discussion, forum, pick an area, such as health, and click new  subject at the top.

I took a major tranquilizer for many years, and at time my hands shook so badly, that I was unable to carry things, or even drink from a full glass. I was on an antidepressant too. It was embarrassing, particularly in the pub.. It was worse sometimes than others. I suggest you speak to your prescibing doctor, some of them seam to think having side effects is uncommon or temporary. They can be wrong. Your meds may need changing or adjusting.

Hi can anyone tell me if thay drop thing ie a cup tea , i have started ?.and something my hands have started shaking i have to cup of tea all over me this wkend , i am trying to keep it together but i am find hard, can any one could tell me what this new thing is all about and arms ake when i try and pick something up .i seem to get very sad late 'lee the table s are not working i dont no what you think to citalopram thay have got me on 30mg and with my scoliosis i am on butrans 10 mg and dihdrocodeine 30mg x4 times per day.so has you can see its not good in 2006 i was toll to give up work has you have got the bad scoliosis i lasted till 2013 when i could not do my work any more then in 2014 i was toll i have autism aspergers will that top it all, oh thats why i have no friends and on my own i find it very hard mast of time to go out the last holiday i when on was very bad , i think my holidays days are over. So if someone could in light me on the best thing i could do i would be very pleased to know joseph

Hello kitty 02 your test for autism aspergers was only 3 hrs. My test was over 8 weeks at 1 hr at time then thay toll me you have aspergers, i just dont no why yours was 3 hrs??

Thanks for the replies everone, sorry it's taken so long to check back!

It sounds like getting an official diagnosis is a pretty long and drawn out process, and not really very advantageous unless you work at a company where it would be helpful to let your employers know why you can be a little different sometimes.

I deal with things pretty well right now, but mainly because I work freelance and from home, so I don't really get exposed to a lot of situations that might be awkward. Although it does make things pretty hard sometimes when clients want to meet, or even just call. Also I miss out on a lot of opportunities like working on-site for a client or things like being asked to organise workshops or be a guest lecturer somewhere, because I really can't deal with that sort of situation very well so always turn them down.

I don't really mention to many people about my AS, mainly because it feels like an 'excuse' in a way, and feels to me like a cop out for being 'weird' sometimes or hard to deal with. A few people know, but then I've also had a few people call me out on using it as an excuse for things, who probably don't understand how hard it can be to deal with certain situations, and how people misunderstand your behaviour sometimes and think you're being rude or weird or annoying on purpose.

Anyway it was good to read the comments so thanks for the replies! :) 

I hadn't heard about refridgerator mother, and I do hope it's not true because Im a mother too! It's scarey to think of the damage parents unwittingly can cause to their child. I hugged my son when he was small but he had sensory issues and I soon learned that he didn't like it. We hug awkwardly at birthdays or on special occassions these days.

Getting back to the original post, I wanted to reassure that even though we (as adults) have developed many and various coping mechanisms, the diagnostic process will see through them for what they are. The assessment can sort out what the issues are, if ASD or other- mental health issue etc.   I came away from my assessment annoyed at myself for not mentioning a whole host of things I should have said that I felt backed up my suspicions that I was AS. Actually I thought I performed rather well and was amazed to see that the professionals weren't fooled for a bit! They know their stuff. 

So go forwards with confidence! And a lot of patience. I think it's more important to love yourself for who you are, label or not. 

Kittyx

Hi Kitty,

It sounds like your ex was not a good match for you, we need some me time as well as the shared time of a relationship. It sounds like you are looking back without wishing you were still in the relationship so your aren't feeling bad about it. I was just suggesting an interpretation because I've seen similar things come up on here before.

You say that your mother was very cold. I expect you have heard of the refrigerator mother theories for autism? I have a hunch that some of these refrigerators are actually Asperger's themselves. The description fits - a cold expressionless person who doesn't display a lot of emotion could well be ASD? Does that sound possible in your case? You also say that your son has it and you have now been confirmed so it is likely that you inherited from your mother or your father.

Hi,

I was just trying to say that not everyone can or should be trusted with knowing about your Asperger diagnosis.  Especially if they have known you from before you were diagnosed.  I am very newly diagnosed but am finding that I should choose carefully with what I say to whom.  

One friend, who meant well, said that he always knew I was very scientific and factual and I needed to move beyond that into being more aware and just experiencing my life with added feeling. Frankly I broke down and cried because he had clearly entirely missed the point that I wasn't capable of doing the empathy, compassion bit.  It's like saying to a blind person, just let your vision guide you.... eh?

The comment above was from a [now ex] boyfriend.  He did a lot of complaining about a lot of things mainly along the lines of me not worshipping the ground he walked on, spending every single spare moment with him, cooking and tending to his every need without expecting him to pitch in.... and most especially answering a text message within 10 seconds.  Not sure what it was all about but he was hard work!  

My boss received the news with confusion and I think avoided me for some time afterwards, but things are getting back to normal now.

I went foward for diagnosis because I needed it ruled out or ruled in.  My recuring mental health issues could have been just that, health issues, or it could have stemmed from my not entirely supported childhood (with a very cold mother figure) rendering some lingering psychologiccal problem or maybe I was Asperger like my son. (or should that be the other way around??)

So now I have my answer and I'm still waiting for it to sink in.  It is quite an emotional roller coaster.  I'm hoping it will be worth it.  At the moment I feel quite isolated and it's great to know there are 'others' out there  -  it really is.  

Kitty x

Hi Ease, I think you have the ideal job for an aspian at the moment. What could be better than working from home?

Could you expand your existing business? Thereis funding available for small businesses these day, from places such as The Princes Trust and so on I think.

There are great disadvantages for us in becoming a wage slave.

I have an aquaintance who was a designer/illustrator, who obtained adittional employment teaching his subject part time in local schools and colleges. He did not have a teaching qualification for this role.

Hi Rsocks, apologies for digressing, but....

I agree with Kitty. That comment was insensitive and I thought tact was what NT people were good at, and AS people not so good.I  think it is a common misconception by NT people that we are at fault in some way when things go wrong. We are a minority group, who think differently, who are given help in understanding the majority. That does not excuse their  failure to try and understand  people who are different, and show kindness and tollerance.

They need educating too, and it seems to be left to AS people to educate those around by talking about how we see the world and cope.

Is anything done in schools to  educate NT people about autism? Or any other health issues for that matter.

Kitty02 said:

One or two have actually tried to use the diagnosis against me "that explains a lot, you ARE the one with the problem".

Hi Kitty,

Do you think your friends were serious? I would guess that this could be a joke. NT humour doesn't make any sense to ASD folk so you might find that they were just kidding.

Hi,

I am a 45 year old who has just received her diagnosis of AS in the last 3 weeks or so.  Obviously I expected it but it still came as a shock and I am not yet ready to admit it to everyone.  My consultant was very encouraging that I told my boss and HR.  I have also told some friends but they mostly mutter banal comments about "you're still you" etc.  One or two have actually tried to use the diagnosis against me "that explains a lot, you ARE the one with the problem".  I would say go for a diagnosis.  It will take time.  You see your GP and persuade him to send you on to a psychiatrist who rules out mental illness, and refers you on to a psychologist.  All this takes a year and a half so be patient!  The actual assessment is quite gruelling, a 3 hour interview with tasks and questionnaires.  I recommend you take a flask of coffee to get you through!  I'm still in the early days and not yet ready to embrace my label, but yes, it does explain a lot and you don't have to tell anyone if you don't want to.

Good luck with your decision...!

Kitty x

If there is a pressing need or crisis then a diagnosis can be absolutely invaluable. The NHS will kick into action if you have a good going breakdown or if you are suffering from long term depression or other psychiatric problem.

I had to get a diagnosis as I was having severe problems at work. The diagnosis brought great relief and understanding and I feel much much better to have some explanation for how my interactions with the world had gone wrong so often for so long.

Having got the diagnosis, the local mental health trust do offer proper services and support to help manage better and to improve social skills etc. I haven't used this much yet but these people do get it and understand what its all about. They also provide drop-in sessions and other social meets.

My employers response has been variable - my line managers don't get it really but the HR people are much more receptive and understanding. I'm looking for another job and so far I have mentioned it to one agent who then never called again. Another company weren't fazed when I brought up the issue at interview. One thing here is that you have to wonder whether you want to deal with a company that doesn't understand. I'll see how this goes and perhaps report back on the forum in due course. My colleagues have been great and nobody has stopped talking to me or treated me badly since I've disclosed the condition.

The diagnosis won't lead to a cure. But it can lead to a much happier life so I would recommend you talking to your GP. You may have to emphasise the problems that you suffer from. It is easier if you write down all of the things that make you think you have the condition and also all of the problems it causes you.