Am I autistic or just one of life's weirdos?

Hi Poorlittlefish.

Sorry to hear you are going through all the classic Autistic/Asperger difficulties.

Go and get tested and diagnosed officially if you can. At least then you will know and have some peace of mind.

I'm 40 and was diagnosed as having AS last month after a lifetime of anxiety,depressions,broken relationships etc. I had to fight my GP for over a year before she finally accepted that there was something more significant behind why I was anxious and depressed all the time. From being referred to the local mental health team and then forwarded on for proper assessment  with an AS specialist took close to a year.

I'm still trying to digest the diagnosis even though I already knew I had it. It's allowed me to put a lot of the total car crash episodes in my life into some kind of perspective as I can start to understand why I acted a certain way/said things/ didnt pick up on people's feelings or intentions etc.

Try and get some comfort in the fact that you are not the only one that hates talking/interacting with people.x

Do hang on in there. That is the real world we have to live in. 

Your tutorial sounds similar to my experience of work meetings. People love the sound of their own voice. Itis boring, but a necessary part of working life.

Look beyond the tedious bits to your end goal and learn to tollerate . I don't suffer fools gladly, but I try to do it quietly. They are unavoidable in life. Good luck.I

Again, what you write is so familiar to me. I don't know if confidence can be part of Aspergers but I definitely don't have very much. Despite that I can often appear cool and confident, depending on the situation. I was firtunate at university in that studies were very straightforward, lessons were to the point and most practical sessions I could work alone. Needless to say I rarely enjoyed the colaborative projects. Anyway, Last year I joined a foreign language course - I live in Belgium. I suppose I do myself no favours as regards isolation, only speaking English in a foreign land. Hence the course, but oh my was it difficult - social cooperation in another tongue with 15 people I didn't really want to be near. I survived the 5 months, just achieved my introductory certificate, but have not felt able to continue yet. I may try again next January for the second course. Yes, I hated it, however I still can feel the mental stimulation learning a language gave me. If you can, continue with your law course. Perhaps in group sessions, let others lead - sit back, listen and contribute when you feel like it. Tell your tutor your difficulties - I have always found them understanding.

I'm female!

"Mystery to me" - I've just started a law degree with the OU and if I make it through to the end that'll be massive for me too.  I went to the first tutorial last weekend and spent most of it bored and irritated as the other students kept banging on on about their personal experiences and I just wasn't interested in anything other than what I'd gone there to learn.  We were made to do "activities" together so I can't see myself going to many more.

You don't appear to indicate whether you are male or female.

I found a web site produced by Tanya Marshall most helpful. She is studying Aspergers in women and girls. She has a list of characteristics which helped to convince me.

I have also been reading the book Aspergirls by Rudy Simone. There is a lot of jargon surrounding Aspergers, but I am slowly recognising the things I do/have done and learning a new language.

Reading your post is almost like seeing one I would write myself. I'm in my 50's and only recently was it suggested to me that I might have aspergers. I certainly seem to exhibit some of the symptoms, and it led to my joining this site to discover more. Depressed forever, I find it difficult to socialise, relate to others or talk on the phone, which has really held me back in my work as well as limited my social life to zero. I had a similar IQ to yours at your age - beware, I reckon mine's slipped a bit since then! Getting a science degree at 40 is my only achievement in life. I'm also seeking further diagnosis. I know that people don't think or feel (emotionally) the way I do. I must be weird, but knowing there's at least partly a reason might help. Also, although I shall always be alone, I can share my 'dilemma' with others in similar situations.

You are absolutely not the only person like this!

If you go to the GP for a referral to a speialist then it is worth taking your time to prepare as many stories as you can. It is often worth writing it down as a list of relevant things that you can give the GP. Many sufferers struggle with getting the story straight when talking to the GP so a written list can help. ASD can only be diagnosed by a specialist in autism - often a consultant psychiatrist.

When I suspected that I was on the spectrum I bought a book: Living Well on the Spectrum by Valerie Gaus. This confirmed my suspicions, as it explains the thinking differences, but also it gave me a positive slant on the whole business. It gives you strategies to deal with some common situations.

That's helpful, thank you.  My problem is that I am very good at presenting a calm exterior, so no-one ever asks if I'm OK or seems to believe me if I say I'm not!

When someone tells me I'm odd, it would be nice to turn around and say, "Actually, I have ASD" (or whatever).  Work might also be more accommodating, rather than pushing me into going to meetings with groups of people and wondering why I don't contribute.

To know I'm not the only person who's like this would be a comfort.

your story does, as the others say, sound very typical of ASD.

Depression, and other psychiatric problems, are very common in undiagnosed aspies so this is another typical part of the story. In my experience/opinion, the depression arises from having an idea but then meeting brick walls when trying to explain to people what you want to do. The continual rejection and criticism becomes depressing and frustrating. The communication issues, that are the heart of ASD, cause continual stress and conflict.

What problems do you think might be solved by having a diagnosis? Are you having work or relationship problems? The doctor might not react unless you present in a distressed condition so walking in and looking fine won't help persuade him that he will have to spend NHS money on you. If you can't get a diagnosis from the NHS then you can go privately. This isn't cheap but it can be useful depending on your circumstances and needs.

I've actually found that there is a very useful local autism support service run by the local mental health trust. They have provided some useful support and advice to help with my work issues. Provision varies across the country but it may be worth looking for services in your area.

You can be both if you want :D

Sounds very familiar... If you think you might have an ASD you can't strictly speaking lose by going to the doctors... although a brush off can be hurtful. That said, I'm not sure what the doc would actually be able to do, as I've found (as an adult) that things are usually focused on children and basically nothing has been offered to me... but if a diagnosis would be useful to you personally, to answer your own question and settle your own personal identity, then go for it.

Are you sure you didn't copy and paste a case study for late diagnosis Aspergers'? This is classic presentation. Welcome brother