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Isolation

solitary_soul

Hello, new member on this forum. I have ASD, OCD, BDD and waiting on an ADHD diagnosis.

Aside from a weekly appointment with therapy and a monthly phone call with a disability advisor I've found myself in a situation where I'm completely isolated, and feel lost and depressed.

Is there anyone else here in that situation, and if so, how do you cope?

I've gradually found myself withdrawing from society because of my morals, the way I view the world and social issues. I've done a fair amount of voluntary work in the past but ultimately I've found charity work is no different to any other type of work in terms of interacting with other people and the drama and social issues that comes with ASD.

We live in a society where we're expected to integrate with each other regardless of how that makes us feel, and it's set up so the only option is to serve and be dependent on the state. If not you're pretty much made to feel useless and worthless to society.

I do have hobbies which are severely limited to what I feel is right or wrong, and feel like I'm living the same day over and over with no real reason or purpose. But on the other hand I don't have the stress of friendships, relationships and acquaintances which have brought me to this point. If I died in my sleep tonight nobody would know for weeks, months, longer, and that scares me.

If you are in the same situation any advice, help or ideas or thoughts would be greatly appreciated.

  • Hi  and welcome. I find solitude is nourishing, but loneliness is painful. My own approach is to prioritise the peace I need to stay healthy and just be, and then to socialise as I wish to (or need to). There are times when I have to be more social than I have energy for, and I schedule rest after these when I can. At times in my life, I have felt really lonely and have had to ride these out until my circumstances have altered: new or renewed contacts led those feelings to ease. Online communities, hanging out with other autistic folks, journalling, hobbies, gratitude etc can help, as others have noted. There is a 3 good things thread on here and I have found joining in has helped me stay grateful - maybe have a read and see what you think RE: 3 Good Things - Round 4 Take good care and hope our community helps you. 

  • Hello and welcome!

    solitary_soul said:
    feel like I'm living the same day over and over with no real reason or purpose

    I've felt something similar to this before. Something small that helps me, even if I'm doing exactly the same thing every day, is to like to look out for nice, different things around and about. E.g. the sun is nice today, I saw a cool bird, a different dog walker went past the window. It makes me feel more connected with the world, even if I'm not directly interacting with it.

    I hope you settle in soon to the community here :)

  • in reply to TheCatWoman

    Apart from my husband, I feel the same as you,  

  • I find myself not wanting to be around people as it all just seems more trouble than it's worth, I'd like to have a few more people in my life, but there's few plaes to meet people and the things they want to do or places they want to go to, really just don't do it for me. I don't have a moral standpoint that gets in the way of being with others, I just find most of them boring.

    It is a bit of a doulbe bind, wanting to be with others, but then when I am I can't wait to be away from them and it feels like something I can tick off my list and I don't even really know if I have a list! Mad eh?

  • Hi and welcome 

    Im sorry to hear this.

    So much of what you have written feels familiar to me.

    I don’t really socialise much apart from my autism group where people are more gentle and kind. Would that be something that was available for you in your area?

    You still want connection, I do too, that’s why we are here. This place is a good place to start. Hopefully you will get some more advice in the coming days.

    I wish you well and hope that you are able to allow yourself to enjoy your hobbies even if it’s just a little bit.

    Blush