Spiky profile

I think a lot of people seem to want change for changes sake, like the adreniline junkies who think every one must challenge themselves with extreme sports or something similar, it's fine if thats what they want to do, but those of us who don't should be respected to and not feel bullied. For me theres no such thing as good adreniline, only bad, I have PTSD, so adreniline surges are extreme and leave me feeling exhausted and they can take days to recover from.

Then theres the people who seem to want to change thier physical surroundings all the time, move furniture about, paint things, throw stuff out and get new stuff, (funny how it's always my stuff that gets thrown out). I find coming home to a new house layout or half done decorating really discombobulating. And the latest trend isn't always one I like, like maximalism, clashing colours and patterns that look like the inside of a migraine, no I think not.

I've had so much change in my life that I'm quite happy for this phase to be quiet and relatively unchallenging

The difference between being stuck and ploughing on your own, is whether you'd like to change but can't, don't know how or are too scared.

If you're content, then it's all fine. It is good to have the confidence to do your own thing.

But also beware lying to yourself and pretending all is fine, if it's not,  just because it is easier.

This is a general point, I'm not saying it applies to TheCatWoman 

That’s really interesting.

I can relate to having a mix of strengths and struggles too.

I get absorbed in art and have a strong memory, but other things are harder.

The synaesthesia sounds fascinating.

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That’s a great outlook.

I like how you describe “ploughing your own furrow” , it sounds peaceful and self-accepting.

I’m also learning not to beat myself up over things that don’t come naturally and to focus on what does.

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 My struggles are mostly internal too.

Things like sensory overload and social anxiety.

It can look like I’m coping fine on the outside, but masking all the time gets pretty exhausting.

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It helps knowing others feel the same though.

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That’s really good advice, thank you

I’m still learning how to say no without feeling guilty.

You’re right, it’s my life and I shouldn’t feel bad for wanting a bit of peace.

I really appreciate you saying that.

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Social anxiety is a big one for me too. I am not sure I’ll ever really adjust to situations in a way that is truly comfortable. 

I avoid doing things that don't play to my strengths, I'm lucky that I'm in a position to do so now. I've spent years stubbing my toes on the things I seem unable to do, even if others find them simple, all I got was sore feet. I will give new things a go, but I dont' beat myself up if I can't do them, even when others tell me I should for some nebulous reason best known to themselves.

I have some synaethesia too, I've never been formally diagnosed, but I do taste colours and textures, like an over cooked fried egg tases like a net curtain.

Sometimes people ask me if I don't think I'm stuck in a rut, but I tell them, no, I'm comfortably ploughing my own furrow!

When ever people want me to do something, often my first response is 'what for, whats in it for me?', I know this sounds incredibly selfish, but it's been part of the learning to say no process. That not to say I won't do things, even if I can't see the point or don't understand whats being asked of me.

I'm pretty spikey, have very good memory, not of all events, but many i have saved like movies even from very young age like 3-4. I was always told that im gifted in creating art but also a good analytical and good at geometry or anything related to constructing. But abstract things like fir example Algebra, using formulas and history were a disaster and my nightmare. Additionally I experience most probably synaesthesia (lexical Gustatory) so 4x^2 tastes to me like an apple with sandwich and I couldn't get what was that all about and why. I only got it as an adult when I managed to ignore those tastes of words and symbols. Maybe I just experience them less intense. I'm also good at languages and grammar. I hate literature though. I used to speak Russian so good that Russian native speakers didnt notice its not my first language. English isn't either. 

Luckily for me a lot of my troubles aren’t very obvious; Like, I don’t stim very often and I can present normally socially. Mine mostly stems from more internal struggles such as sensory issues and social anxiety. So I am capable of masking pretty easily compared to some others.

You can only minimise the stuff you struggle with and learn to say "no, thank you" in my experience. And try to teach yourself not to feel guilty if you turn down invitations to social events - remind yourself that it's your life, and you don't deserve to feel uncomfortable to keep others happy.