Alcoholism and daily stress.

Well done for getting over the hardest part - asking for help.

My advice to you would be to seek professional help. Starting with your GP/Doctor. You deserve support for what you are going through.

It's also worth seeking out any groups/institutions that provide support for alcohol/drugs that operate near you. Try searching online, most organisations will have a website, and probably an online self-referral process which is worth completing.

If you do take this approach please be patient, it can take a while since these institutions are stretched a little thin.

Also please stop being so hard on yourself it's never helpful. You should be a bit kinder and more compassionate towards yourself. You've already made such a huge step in asking for help/advice.

Also your family will want to support you. Let them. Be honest with them. I really pushed my family and friends away with my drinking, it was by far the worst mistake I've ever made in my life. Please don't make the same mistake as me.

A bit more about me:

I'm 30. I drank heavily every day for the last 10 years. I'm currently feeling a lot more positive about my recovery. I Tried to fix things on my own, but didn't have much success in the past.

The things that have helped me so far:

1. My GP - prescribing meds for underlying mental health issues has been a game changer, I can finally see all of my problems a lot clearer and I finally feel like I can start tackling things.

2. An NHS run Alcohol/Drug service near me - Provides a lot of good resources for dealing with alcohol and excellent face-to-face support from a keyworker.

3. Psychodynamic therapy - Only just started but should be helpful to process some of the underlying emotional issues - that I was previously treating with alcohol.

I hope this is helpful and not too much info. We're all in your corner rooting for you, but it's your fight. Don't ever be afraid for asking for help/support - everyone needs it from time to time, and everyone deserves it.

Best,

Andrew

I have some sympathy. I used it to help.

The solution is to honest with yourself and to address the things that are making you drink.

You're drinking to get drunk, to escape, forget, to have fun, to feel less guilty. It gives temporary relief.

You need to look at your finances and have a plan. If they feel out of control, you'll ignore them and have a drink. I know, I did when I was young. It's hard, but try to understand where you are and what you can do. Set aside a day to just face it.

Alcohol worsens mood, depression, anxiety, sleep. The next afternoon and possibly for several days. So try to have a week off and see how you feel.

If you are drinking daily it can get very hard to stop. If you are binge drinking it is a bit easier.

Try to regulate stress in other ways. Do some exercise, go for a walk, sleep, relax, try not to feel guilty for relaxing, try to get work in order, so you are in control. Do some sport or something social that is not drinking, if you can find it.

Look at you diet. Are you eating well. Do you need supplements . Do you get any vitamin D. Are you just eating carbs. Are you hydrated. Cut down on caffeine, it doesn't help. Get yourself stable. Caffeine and alcohol raise the baseline agitation you are trying to works against.

Alcohol reduces the cognitive load and anxiety by dulling the stress response. It feels good, but reduces inhibitions. You feel better so drink more and can't stop.

Since you may still want to go out, limit yourself by time or by only taking a certain amount of cash, so you can't drink too much. Limit going out to one or two days a week.

To socialise without drink is hard, so have one or two. Have shandy. Have alcohol free. Have a soft drink. Try to drink slower. 

Assuming you aren't drink alone or at home, tell your buddies you want to limit your drinking. Ask them to help.

If they're friends they'll help.

You have my sympathy and my empathy Harry 

I figure to "do the right thing" the first thing for me to write is putting on the agenda seeking professional help and support. 

Then,

From personal experience coffee in the morning, alcohol at night.... all gets a bit out of balance 

The crutch becomes a problem as without it there is not enough support.

So to maybe offer some support - you're doing the right thing first of all by acknowledging the problem.

Some would say this is the hardest part.  Myself I would suggest that it's a good start.

If you flip things, as you already have in respect of drinking in social situations, rather than seeing the alcohol as the problem see it as a symptom of other problems.

See these problems, if you can, as opportunities for things to address, seek support in tackling them.

Develop a sense of what a good life is for you and try not to get too pulled too deep into recognising the sh1tty bits - cos they can drag you deeper.

This is exercising "will power" (please I hope that doesn't seem patronising - I know what I feel in similar circumsatnces to those you describe)  Using this in my experience (for what that may be worth!) allows one a little bit more decision about how much of a crutch one needs as opposed to wants.  Leaning on it too much makes one weaker.  Leaning on it a bit less gradually makes one stronger.  The goal I personally work on is that it's eventually up to me how much I need the crutch, not the crutch telling me I need it.

Easy to write, harder to do - worth the effort.

If that makes sense?

Best wishes.