My self and my partner are both a mix of ADHD and autism. I was diagnosed much later in life than them. We both also grew up in "difficult" households with "difficult" parents that I feel has left us with poor comping mechanisms and bad communication skills.
I'm wondering what is things that can be changed and what are just parts of us that we need to accept or decide we need someone who can offer us those different things.
My partner is unable to cope with my emotional needs and can't be compassionate when his first call is being pragmatic. I can appreciate this but I asked him if he could stop giving me advice when I'm sad and just comfort me first, and he said no that's just how he is and he won't change and I just have to accept it. I saw a video of a doctor explaining how you should just accept this and get those emotional needs from someone else. But sometimes there are things I only want to tell him, and I feel like I can't. Is this him being stubborn and maybe being brought up with a parent who taught him to be like this, and I can show him that he needs to be more flexible, or is it that I need to leave and find someone who can listen to me be sad and comfort me regardless of if they agree with the thing or not.
Anyone got through this before and have advice?
