Problems at work

HI,

I was diagnosed late around a year ago. I have spent some time unemployed mainly caused by Covid lockdown. However, I have a job in hospitality that I have been at now for about 8 months.

I will preface this with some context:

I got this job through the Autism at Work Programme and though I enjoy the work and most of my colleagues, there has always been some issues with senior management. They were offered training about autistic employees in the workplace several times which they did not take. They were also given my autism profile to help them understand what is helpful to me at work and what is not. In the profile I explained that I have some problems with task switching and that whilst I might not look busy, I am actually processing one task to the next - my boss said he understood this and that I was doing fine.

One shift, I asked my boss if I could go home early (I had about 3 hours left of my shift and had powered through the most of it) because I had a bad headache. He proceeded to shout at me, telling me I was not being a team player, I was letting everyone down and that a headache was not a reason to go home. Then he left the room and told another coworker (loudly) that he bets I won't come in the next day and that I am using my headache as an excuse to be off work. I don't think it was right or fair of him to disclose my medical business loudly so that many people could overhear and also perceive me as being sly and a liar.

On my rota, my days off are Tuesday, Thursday, and Friday.  I have already explained at work that I get headaches from time to time, and that they are made worse by stress and the energy it takes to mask. One Wednesday a few weeks ago, I called in sick because I had a migraine. My boss accused me of taking this Wednesday off so that it would mean I had four days off in a row and that it is 'convinient' that my sick days overlap with my day off. He does not seem to understand that, with the way the rota is organised, ANY sick day I have will ALWAYS overlap with my days off?

This week I was called into HR and completely blindsided by a conversation about how my absences are jepordising my role. I have not had many absences at all - the most was when I had Covid and was told by my boss and HR to not come in and that I had cover, but 99% of the time I like to think I am a reliable employee. They also mentioned that I was not productive - when I asked what I can do to fix this, I was told 'be more proactive and look busy' which is vague and unhelpful. 

I am in a constant state of anxiety at work which drains me further. I am looking for advice really - on job coaches, work mentors etc and how to go about getting them. I just want some additional protection at work because I am terrified of being fired. I also feel that I am not being taken seriously about my autism at work because the things on my autism profile and the offered training has been ignored. Anything anyone can advise me of or your own experiences is valuable to me.

Thank you

Parents
  • One shift, I asked my boss if I could go home early (I had about 3 hours left of my shift and had powered through the most of it) because I had a bad headache.

    You mention headaches a few times here - do you medicate for them? I used to get them quite a lot through stress (I was a manager so had pressure from both my team and managers not to mention the customers we supported).

    I used to keep a supply of paracetemol and ibuprofen in my desk and travel case so I could take one of each if it got bad.

    Most of my working life was without any tolerance for weakeness like this and about the only thing that would get you sent home was throwing up so medication was a survival mechanism.

    Looking at this situation from your managements point of view I suspect they are already planning your exit and will continue to put you in situations to make you fail until you either leave or do something that will get you sacked. I've seen it too many times unfortunately.

    I would start looking elsewhere now and use your commute to start building your skill set for something you want to do in future.

    The only organisation I encountered that offered coaching or mentoring was the Civil Service but the pay was pretty poor - you may find this a more confortable option for the future as they tend to be more unsdersanding.

    There is a lot of competition for the roles which is why I suggested developing your skills now.

  • Coming from someone who used to do recruitment, I agree with this comment - I don't want to sound like a downer but unfortunately in many workplaces, adequate support for autism isn't provided (even for workplaces that highlight themselves as disability confident). A lot of employers see autism or other hidden disabilities as a hindrance, therefore they would much rather hire an individual who won't cause "problems" so to say.

    The best thing to do (as suggested in the comment above) is to arrange an exit strategy and also keep written records of any instances where discrimination is taking place. That way, your employers can't backtrack on what did/didn't do. Make sure you prioritise your health and wellbeing first, at the end of the day most employers don't really care about your feelings - only what you can produce in terms of results. If your situation worsens, perhaps seek advice from Citizens' Advice or even ACAs.

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  • Coming from someone who used to do recruitment, I agree with this comment - I don't want to sound like a downer but unfortunately in many workplaces, adequate support for autism isn't provided (even for workplaces that highlight themselves as disability confident). A lot of employers see autism or other hidden disabilities as a hindrance, therefore they would much rather hire an individual who won't cause "problems" so to say.

    The best thing to do (as suggested in the comment above) is to arrange an exit strategy and also keep written records of any instances where discrimination is taking place. That way, your employers can't backtrack on what did/didn't do. Make sure you prioritise your health and wellbeing first, at the end of the day most employers don't really care about your feelings - only what you can produce in terms of results. If your situation worsens, perhaps seek advice from Citizens' Advice or even ACAs.

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