Can’t cope with sons Autism!!!

I’ve got a 6 year old boy - he’s autistic - non-verbal, global development delay, has pica, and is now self harming - he pulls his hands - ripping the skin off his fingers, causing his hands to swell, and drops to his knees from standing.

He bites himself - he constantly tries to attack the rest of his family, trying to bite, scratch, he screams and cries constantly - with absolutely no way of knowing why.

His development is too behind to use pet cards, he cannot communicate with us in any way. He will not accept any comforting. 

He won’t eat anything most of the time - when he does its bread. So I worry for his nutrition. But he will not try anything else - no matter how long you wait. I will not see him starve.

Life is becoming unbearable with him - he seems to be getting worse.

There doesn’t seem to be any help available. Drs say there is nothing they can do. He needs something to help calm him.  

I am at my wits end - it’s constant 24/7. It’s not fair on his older brother (8yo non-autistic) who has to see him screaming all day, and all night when he tries to sleep.

I also worry for his safety from his brother biting him.

I ask for help - there is none. I also worry incase they say I cannot handle either of my kids and they take them both.

I just don’t know what to do.

  • Dear NAS95504
    Thank you for posting and tell the community what you are going through. We are sorry to hear that you feel life is becoming unbearable and that your son seems to be getting worse.
    The National Autistic Society does not currently operate a crisis or emergency service. We advise you to contact 999 or any of the crisis lines listed on our Urgent Help Page if you or anyone else is at risk of immediate harm: https://www.autism.org.uk/what-we-do/help-and-support/urgent-help  
    I am sharing some information on the eating of inedible objects to start with as you mentioned pica and there is a risk of harm to your son’s health. An assessment of his eating or mouthing of inedible objects is essential as well as regular health checks from his general practitioner and/or medical specialist, such as blood tests, scans and physical examinations. As eating non-food substances or items with no nutritional value can be related to sensory needs, it may be helpful for him to have a dedicated occupational therapy assessment. Make sure your son's eating of inedible objects is included on medical records, care plans and any education plans .   
    You can read more about interventions or treatments for eating inedible objects, particularly for autistic people in Understanding and managing pica. Pica is a medical term for people who persistently eat non-nutritive substances/items for at least 1 month. Content warning- this guide discusses a young man whose severe Pica was a factor in his untimely death at the age of 21. His parents want to share what happened to him so other parents are better informed and able to get the help their children require.    
    You've also mentioned that your son displays behaviour that is having a negative impact on him and your family. Our website has lots of links to pages with strategies to try and information on getting support: https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/topics/behaviour 
    You may be interested in seeking some professional support regarding the behaviour. You can search for professionals in your area we are aware of on the Autism Services Directory: https://www.autism.org.uk/directory
    You might also like to take a look at The Challenging Behaviour Foundation website for further information and advice:  https://www.challengingbehaviour.org.uk
     It might also be helpful to find out about the support available for autistic children as well as support for parents. We have guidance o how to request an assessment or funding for social care here: https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/topics/social-care
     
    We hope this is helpful to you.  
    Kind regards  
    Sharon Mod
  • You might find the advice here helpful:

    Eating

    Meltdowns

    Distressed behaviour

    For example: one of the Society's suggestions for support (from the Distressed behaviour article) is to "Request a social care needs assessment for your family member and for yourself as a carer. You may be able to get respite care or the help of an outreach team who can support you with behaviour strategies."