Published on 12, July, 2020
I tend to use these words interchangeably.
But when speaking to medical professionals, they signal very different things.
It turns out, after gaining a better understanding of what these words mean to the medical field, I have rarely experienced true Anxiety. Most of my life I have experienced too frequent and much too high levels of unmanageable Stress, which Anti-Anxiety GABA boosting aids can relieve the biological response to, in order to think with clarity through a problem so to properly address it. Sometimes things will take a great deal of time to address.
I have never really had Actual Depression, just normal ups and (severe) downs of being human with intense emotional responses to intense sense-perception or intense sensory assault. Every lack of motivation in my life has been the result of Being Overwhelmed and this is not true depression, which is an end-of-life acceptance 'deflation', allowing the human animal to return to dust (as it were). Numbness, Withdrawal, Apathy or just the "empty" feeling one has after crying your eyes out - none of these are depression but Survival modes, trauma responses or just normal cycles.
After decades of trying to work out what is happening in the world around me and inside me, I have found that much can be solved with clarity, knowledge, engaging with a problem rather than being afraid of working through it, approaching it. Add supplements for focus and gut-health, hydration and minerals, paying attention to botany. At 50, I am still uncovering how to eat properly for my being, and science is still discovering what our gut microbiota should look like, but worlds better today than I have been most of my life.
Please feel free to add to this conversation. It's painful to see how many Autistic kids are prescribed anti-depressants, when this can only make biological function and neurological function much worse, let alone other unnecessary stressors in modern life affecting Autistic and Divergent kids. x
I'm so sorry. And I hate to say this, but I think you know, this isn't depression, but an Appropriate Response to rejection, emotional abandonment, unjust and unwarranted cruelty. You should've never been treated like this! I feel a sense of injustice for you.
It sounds to me like your work experience in that kind of environment was a sensory assault. Sonic and Light weaponry will produce the same effect you're describing. Not just this, but VOC's from kitchens and other toxins - these nano-particulates we inhale which affect our entire body - nervous system, hormonal system and so on, can also cause the same effects. Sick building syndrome pathologises the person, so those responsible don't have to be as accountable. But all of these things, from gassing humans to sensory weapons, if we knew what was harmful in society, we could hold those responsible accountable.
Yesterday I was at a cafe and could identify the sound was creating a sort of Vertigo. Our inner ear is responsible for sense-perceiving and working with Gravity. I had to leave as it started making me feel sick. When I spoke with the bartista on the way out he said some of the staff experience the same and that there's a wire loose in the audio system producing a painful high pitched frequency, but since the owner has lost his hearing, won't do anything about it. Any number of searches will bring up results https://economictimes.indiatimes.com/magazines/panache/exposure-to-high-frequency-sounds-can-make-you-sick/articleshow/50667378.cms?from=mdr
Here's the problem. If you tell a medical professional that you have severe anxiety and not stress, they won't help you properly. This is a MASSIVE problem with being Autistic. Those SSRI's can be deadly for some, luckily for you, it sounds as if they didn't have forward consequence.
There are medical definitions for Anxiety and Stress and they are very different. These cannot have fluid meanings ("what it means to me"), when the wrong diagnostic can create fatal consequences :(
What a thing "means to me" is a Neurotypical expression, and usually exchanged in such a way that a medical practitioner will recognise and understand the code. Autistics do not use vocal language the same, which is why we tend to rely on clarity and proper definition.
For clarity, Anxiety is the chronic outcome, Stress is different. Being nervous can be a stress response which everyone experiences, such as with public speaking, and confused or unsure to the point of making a bad decision or not being able to understand how to function/operate are neither. Xx
I used to work in McDonald’s (horribly noisy place) constantly blink -blinking lights, screens, and loud beep beep. I had a stress when got my training on the customer service, but I preferred working on the kitchen (clear tasks, procedures) and I was quick and efficient. But amazingly I started getting panic attacks exactly at the kitchen. I felt dizzy, faint, tingling, heart palpitations, head spinning and general fear. I spent years trying to figure out why I get them and what it actually was. Ruled out epilepsy, heart disease and diabetes. It also happens to me in high stress that I loose clarity of thinking and get panicked, afraid of everything sometimes it even happened after some customer said something stupid to me. There was an ambulance called for me few times and mostly they just arrived, measured pulse and left annoyed that they were called for nothing. Once they took me to a psychiatrist. After half hour conversation the doctor said I had depression and I was prescribed meds. I didn’t have depression at that time and the meds didn’t help my symptoms. 10 years later, quite recently I started using earplugs and discovered that they work for my issues. I had severe depression and I was suicidal as a teenager because I was constantly told by my family and others that I’m not enough and I will fail in life. They were pretty much disappointed with me and I felt this all the time plus constant bullying at school. I had no support at that time.
I was diagnosed at 18 with depression/anxiety and was prescribed a ssri that had no effect whatsoever on how I felt.
Roll on 30+ years at a routine medication review I'm asked whether anyone has pointed out that I maybe on the spectrum as apparently I exhibit several traits.
I suppose when you feel as if you don't fit into the environment you find yourself it maybe a little stressful.
Anxiety for me is feeling nervous/unsure/jittery but stress (chronic) is more physical, stiffness/pain/confusion etc.
That might just be me.