Published on 12, July, 2020
I tend to use these words interchangeably.
But when speaking to medical professionals, they signal very different things.
It turns out, after gaining a better understanding of what these words mean to the medical field, I have rarely experienced true Anxiety. Most of my life I have experienced too frequent and much too high levels of unmanageable Stress, which Anti-Anxiety GABA boosting aids can relieve the biological response to, in order to think with clarity through a problem so to properly address it. Sometimes things will take a great deal of time to address.
I have never really had Actual Depression, just normal ups and (severe) downs of being human with intense emotional responses to intense sense-perception or intense sensory assault. Every lack of motivation in my life has been the result of Being Overwhelmed and this is not true depression, which is an end-of-life acceptance 'deflation', allowing the human animal to return to dust (as it were). Numbness, Withdrawal, Apathy or just the "empty" feeling one has after crying your eyes out - none of these are depression but Survival modes, trauma responses or just normal cycles.
After decades of trying to work out what is happening in the world around me and inside me, I have found that much can be solved with clarity, knowledge, engaging with a problem rather than being afraid of working through it, approaching it. Add supplements for focus and gut-health, hydration and minerals, paying attention to botany. At 50, I am still uncovering how to eat properly for my being, and science is still discovering what our gut microbiota should look like, but worlds better today than I have been most of my life.
Please feel free to add to this conversation. It's painful to see how many Autistic kids are prescribed anti-depressants, when this can only make biological function and neurological function much worse, let alone other unnecessary stressors in modern life affecting Autistic and Divergent kids. x
I used to work in McDonald’s (horribly noisy place) constantly blink -blinking lights, screens, and loud beep beep. I had a stress when got my training on the customer service, but I preferred working on the kitchen (clear tasks, procedures) and I was quick and efficient. But amazingly I started getting panic attacks exactly at the kitchen. I felt dizzy, faint, tingling, heart palpitations, head spinning and general fear. I spent years trying to figure out why I get them and what it actually was. Ruled out epilepsy, heart disease and diabetes. It also happens to me in high stress that I loose clarity of thinking and get panicked, afraid of everything sometimes it even happened after some customer said something stupid to me. There was an ambulance called for me few times and mostly they just arrived, measured pulse and left annoyed that they were called for nothing. Once they took me to a psychiatrist. After half hour conversation the doctor said I had depression and I was prescribed meds. I didn’t have depression at that time and the meds didn’t help my symptoms. 10 years later, quite recently I started using earplugs and discovered that they work for my issues. I had severe depression and I was suicidal as a teenager because I was constantly told by my family and others that I’m not enough and I will fail in life. They were pretty much disappointed with me and I felt this all the time plus constant bullying at school. I had no support at that time.
Hi everyone
I’m really sorry to hear of your struggles in the past. There happens to be a few things you have mentioned that has triggered a lightbulb moment for me. I owe you a big thank you. I have suffered panic attacks since my late teens, I have never understood why and have always been terrified of them until recently. I had a spell of taking recreational drugs which delving into was a way for me to fit in and genuinely feel like everyone else. I always attributed my panic attacks to this, I would even have attacks thorough excitement of the night ahead knowing we would soon be out till all hours dancing and getting high. From your post I realised that the panic attacks were prior to that stage of my life and ties in with being in employment and how overwhelming that was. You have helped me make a connection there which I never really considered before. To summarise the panic attacks must be a response to overwhelm/trauma. The feelings you describe resonate also, feeling jittery, tingling and palpitations with the added benefit of feeling like I was being strangled. I do still suffer from these but weirdly it’s after an event that has triggered it, almost like I don’t recognise the triggers instantly. That’s another piece of the puzzle to work out in the future I guess.
I genuinely want to thank you for helping me solve a good chunk of my life’s puzzle. I have been so confused about it all and quite scared really.
Take care all
Thank you for your answer, I’m happy I could help a bit. In my case probably the attacks are a response. It’s hard to say, when your mind and body get crazy, but honestly (sorry, I wouldn’t like to hurt anyone) my daughter helped me realize it. Because I’ve never before had a panic attack at home. She is very snappy and loud. Her behavior started triggering my responses. This way I realised I need to protect my ears. And miraculously all the panic attacks, heart palpitations etc vanished. I also use the earplugs when walking in the city, not always but when I start feeling that it’s too much - I cover my ears and I feel much calmer. Now I’m looking for a job, I hope I will not end up in sensory rich environment, but I’m case I will try to speak to the boss to maybe let me use the protection.