Vacation in New York for British autistic adult

so much for americans having guns though and being so called up and ready to take up arms against anyone or any institution or gov that tries to enslave them or make their lives impossible lol 

they cant even stand up to employers breaking the law. seems people in europe who dont have guns are more ready to take up arms and fight for their rights than americans do. perhaps allowing citisens to have guns actually pacifies them by giving them a false sense that they are in control when they are not and thus because they feel they have control they dont do anything to change anything, because when its in their hands they do nothing as humans naturally are lazy animals lol

The US system has been that way for decades and is not going to change however rubbish it may be so I don't think disecting the immorality of it will help the OPs son.

I did find a passable guide to it which illustrates why it can be a bit of a minefield:

www.worldnomads.com/.../tips-and-trouble-in-the-usa

shouldnt be paid below minimum wage though, thats why its minimum wage. if your below minimum wage then they should instead ring the regulation services and have the place put back in line and the bosses fired rather than attack their customers and demand more from people who just like them are under paid and struggling too.

in the uk anything like a tip is already priced into the menu. so your service charges and tips are already paid in the menu price so you know and see price before paying or ordering.

Caelus said:

in the uk tipping is offensive

Have you been to the US? In place like NY the waiting staff are paid well below minimum wage and expect to make up their money through tips and you are expected to add between 20% and 40% on top of the bill as a tip.

This can be for very mediocre service and it is not uncommon for staff to give you grief if the don't tip them well.

This is the sort of confrontational situation I thought may make it difficult for the OPs sone - lack of a set rule for it and the risk of confrontation if you reward poor service with a low tip.

yeah i dont think he will like tipping.... in the uk tipping is offensive. we cannot afford to tip, we are all poor and people from the uk dont like to ever actually spend money so demanding extra money out of people for nothing is really offensive to a british person lol

that would usually be a packaged holiday with a tour guide...

now im not sure if theres any for new york... but i was looking at a site that does that thing for japan, called wendy woo tours... you pay for holiday and it comes with flights to and back from there, it comes with the hotels you will be staying in and the travel and events and you get a tour guide taking your around guiding you... if you can find something like that for new york then thats pretty much sounding like what would be ideal. but all i know is they have stuff like that for japan.

It should be a great experience for him. As long as he absorbs himself in the main attractions and doesn't get himself in anyone's way or stare at people < in the subway. he should be ok. If he is comfortable with earbuds there are ones that are "open back" so that you can hear your environment as well. Look into it as It could help keep his mind from wandering 

we have discussed with him and he would like that support. it's just finding the right person or organisation. many thanks for your ideas.

greta advice here thank you all. we're still looking for the support person. Any thoughts?

Luftmentsch said:

I honestly found New Yorkers much more polite than my native Londoners

I used to go twice a year when my wife had a stand at a fashion trade show so I got to deal with the tourist side when we were out and about, the showroom we were paying to represent us in the US and the workers at the trade show.

Most were superficially nice but if they would turn quickly if things weren't going smoothly. People trying to get to work etc were typically, err, abrupt to be generous about them (stuff like "out the damn way buddy" if I was walking too slowly when taking in the architecture.

Most of this was more downtown (south of 23rd Street and into the docks area so maybe that was different to your experience.

I did work in a bank head office for a while (I looked after IT in Latin America for them for a year) and they were fine too.

I honestly found New Yorkers much more polite than my native Londoners.

I'm an ex-pat Brooklyn guy.  This American autistic website may offer some help: https://www.aane.org/topics/adults/resources-for-adults/

Yea, NYC can be in your face. It depends a lot on where he visits. If he keeps to the well trodden tourist traps he should be OK. He should be made aware of pick-pockets in crowds.

Why not get him some good guide books - the Dorling Kindersley Eyewitness Guide was my favourite when I was there:

ISBN 9780241510605

Note the guide is republished often so make sure you get the 2022 version as the others have out of date info now.

It is very visual and has lots of references for further research.

There is a good article on some autism friendly experiences in NY here:

https://www.iloveny.com/blog/post/experiences-in-new-york-for-visitors-with-autistic-visitors-and-travelers-with-developmental-disabilities/

The Met Museum goes on step further:

https://www.metmuseum.org/events/programs/access/visitors-with-developmental-and-learning-disabilities/for-visitors-with-autism-spectrum-disorders

I guess one thing to consider is if your son wants to do this on his own to prove he is capable or if he wants to have a safety net there - have you discussed this with him?

Iain, thanks for this, you make some good points. I agree the sense of accomplishment will be great for him. The guide we're thinking would be mostly in the background and 'light touch' and also for our peace of mind.

New York is a pretty intense place and some of the locals can be incredibly rude, so having a autism friendly guide is a good idea.

There are lot of subtly different social norms there (tipping in restaurants, jaywalking, generallly being pushy etc) which may be a bit of a surprise.

You may find however that he would benefit from having to do all this himself. Teach him to research and plan / organise if he wants and  this becomes part of the whole adventure.

It can be part of his growing into an adult and  i suspect the sense of acomplishment would be worth if for him.