Hitting a low now

Hi - sometimes I think the word "stress" doesn't do things justice.  It's become one of those words that can mean almost anything, such as "I was stressed because the bus was 2 mins late." This kind of stress is different, it is serious and chronic for all concerned, inc your little 1.  Obviously you have to keep pushing for a diagnosis so you can hopefully get the support that you need.  But as mentioned above it will only go so far to help.  I don't know enough about your circumstances to comment in detail, so anything I say which you are already doing, then I apologise for.  Have you sussed out the triggers that distress your son and are you able to avoid at least some of them for some of the time?  Also there may be reasons why he "hates" somebody.  It may not be hate, it may be his use of language is limited so he uses the words he knows.  Whilst we recognise the alarm box for what it is, he may not so I can understand him thinking it was watching him.  The world is very confusing for him in many ways and that reflects in his behaviour.  If you don't already then keep a diary to try and discover what triggers his distress/physical attacks.  Sometimes you can see a pattern from this.  I do feel for you all, it is clear how much you are all suffering. Altho you're still having to wait for a diagnosis I think you should strike out on your own and try and relate to your child as an individual with autism.  Obviously this is no panacea but may help to some degree.  I wd also talk to the school to see if there is anything more they can do to help, if you haven't already.  All this is so anxious and depressing for everyone.  To say it affects the whole family doesn't do it justice.  The only other thing I can suggest is that you pester everyone you can think of to push for the diagnosis to be speeded up.  Write to the Chair and Chief Exec of the NHS Trust that CAMHS comes under, stating clearly how hard things are for all of you.  Write to your mp about the long waiting list.  I know you're probably groaning inwardly about having to keep pressing on when you feel worn out but somehow you've got to keep at it.  I know, I've been there, tee-shirt etc.  One other thing, beta blockers are good for preventing panic attacks and they aren't addictive at all and can be taken "as and when necessary", within limits of course.  I really really hope something gives for you all soon.

My son from being born,obiously you have a cot next to your bed,you could not turn over in bed without waking him,he hated being picked up as a baby,he started self stimulating at a very young age,he would do a high pitched scream all the way round the supermarket. he would refuse to go into certain shops at a young age screaming the place down.  He would notice if there was a light out at a supermarket and ak why continously.

His speech was very repetitive,at the age of 2 or 3 and then could not follow simple instruction in nursery,then took 5 mins to answer a queston,was strictly routine bound,had a thing about signs and everytime we went past the local police station it would be the same statement "police car,police car,police van,police car"

Meanwhile behaviour not good especially when using reward charts and time out,it was constant,not being able to use a hoover,not going into toilets with hand dryers,not being able to have a haircut at the barbers,we did once,poor lady every 2 seconds is it done? is it done? havwnt taken him since.

Going up to children in the park and saying i hate that boy! when that boy had done nothing,one day i apologised to the father and the father said i cant quite clearly see theres something wrong.

Hitting us all the time,i have deep scratches in my arm most of the time,or bruises wheres hes kicked or punched me.

The other night,bearing in mind hes 6 comming back from a night out, he said " mummy polar bears are following us"

 A few night before sat outside sainsburys waiting for my sis you could see on the wall cause it was dark a flashing alarm box, he kept saying "mummmy why does it keep staring at me"

Theres prolly a milliion other thingd i could tell you but hopefull this is enough.

I don't know the situation with your older Son, or what specifically triggered the panic attacks, but obviously this is serious issue, whether or not your younger child has Aspergers, Autism or anything else that might be a cause of certain behaviours.

I have had personal experience with CAMHS (Regarding PTSD, anxiety and depression caused by an assault in my earlier years) and the doctor I saw was very condescending, told me that my issues were because I was struggling at school and should probably not be attempting A levels (Even though I was exceeding all targets...)

That was of course only my experience, and I would hope that you have a more positive one when it eventually comes (The waiting lists are appalling and unnecessary) just be aware that they are not able to provide a wonder solution, but a diagnosis might be a helpful step in the right direction.

If your older son's secondary school/college (I'm presuming first year 6thform/college) has a TicTac or Connexions organisation, it might be worth suggesting he try out counselling there, I saw a counsellor once a week at College during my A Levels and it helped me to develop a lot of coping techniques, especially for helping prevent anxiety attacks.

I’m afraid without knowing your son’s behavioural issues and your older son’s anxiety depression causes (which I’ve no doubt is a complicated variety of factors…) I can’t offer much by way of advice, but if you have any specific questions or worries, I may be able to help, I would certainly be happy to do what I can, as somebody who has been on both sides of this struggle..