My daughter just got diagnosed with autistic traits and conduct disorder

(this is the same response I put on your double post on the same subject)

I would write querying/challenging the diagnosis, attaching a print-out of this entire page, of which here is an excerpt:

http://www.autism.org.uk/labels

Terms used in the International Classification System that are applied to difficult behaviour

• Conduct disorder
• Oppositional defiant disorder.

These labels are most unhelpful. They simply name the behaviour without any indication of the underlying cause. 

It is possible for a child or adult with an autistic spectrum disorder to be given one of these diagnoses if a proper history is not taken and the proper psychological investigations are not carried out. 

If this happens the needs of the child or adult concerned and their family are likely to be misjudged, with disastrous results.

It sounds like it might be a bit of a cop-out just saying she has autistic behaviours and blaming her more extreme behaviours on conduct disorder.  I would imagine that her behaviour is as a result of living with undiagnosed and unsupported autism.  It could be that sensory issues cause her to meltdown and react aggressively (if that is what she is doing).

BTW, did you approach your GP for a referral to be assessed previously as schools are notorious for ignoring what's right under their noses and you don't need to rely on the school to help with referral and they aren't always helpful when it comes to backing you up on behaviour either.

thanks very much for your advice she is in main stream school atm but the doctor did say as she is barely coping with an hour a day there that this may not be thaw best placement for her I tend to stay away from visiting other people nowadays as its getting harder and harder to take her out any where any way I guess I'm just not thinking about it the right way I don't really know anything about autism a lot of reasing and talking to other parents is needed I think didn't thanks again from what I have read this is going to be a long road so you will probably end up hearing from me again at some point lol

Hi - me again.  It sounds like she's v sensitive to noise, crowds, that sort of thing.  It's a different degree of sensitivity to what we experience, multiply it by 5 or 10 + you'll get the picture.  If you add in changes to her routine then that adds up to a difficult day for her. Much much more difficult that it would be for an non autistic child.   So even with your pictoral timetable, if it's sometimes showing busy and/or noisy places then it won't be reassuring, it'll be the opposite.  When she's in these places she's experiencing high levels of anxiety + a sensory overload.  When you try + comfort her, you add to that overload.  I would avoid those places if you can, or go at a time of day when they're quieter.  When she gets upset, keep your body language to a minimum + keep your voice calm.  Tell her you understand.  When she is calm you can talk to her to work out a strategy about what to do if she is in a distressing situation.  By doing this it could reassure her + when that situation arises you can jointly implement it....in other words ....leave.   My son has a strong negative reaction to 1 or 2 noises so we take that into account in that we walk away from the source of the noise, saying reassuring things as we go. We would never stay in that situation.   When you visit "friends??" who have this attitude, which must be difficult for you, have they got a quiet place she can go at their house?   My son enjoyed visiting friends of ours who had a room where he could watch tv etc.  He would still pop in to see us every now + then but spent most of his time happily in there with a nice meal provided!  Some people show an unsympathetic attitude towards autism, which can be hurtful.  Some people are more understanding.  They judge your daughter as if she was a non-autistic child + suggest ways of disciplining her which won't work.  If they keep on like this then I'd seriously question whether they're worth it, but that's just me.  Does she like music - would she use headphones?  These can be helpful in noisy places.  If possible avoid the stresses that trigger her meltdowns.  It may also be worth checking out other schools, inc. mainstream who have an autism unit attached + schools which are exclusively autistic.

the school finally agreed to put in a request for a amatory assessment a couple if weeks ago I use a visual schedule at home as I recognised that if she knew exactly what was happening then she would be a lot better behaved she doesn't cope with change at all and when things do change it's a certain for a melt down she can't stand lots of people and will act up when she is in a busy place she will just flip out and then start trashing stuff and screaming at the too if her lungs and if you try to talk to her she will just put her fingers in her ears and scream louder she throws herself around and if you try to hold on to her to stop her from hurting herself she starts screaming that I'm hurting her the only thing I have found that affected her behaviour in a good way was when we got our 2 year old German shepherd dcouples months ago he seems to have a very calming affect on her the educational phycologist said that she is highly vigilant to noise sorry I know I may sound like I'm rambling on a bit but when ever I try to talk to family and friends they just tell me I need to send her to her room till she behaves and when I speak to the school they tell me other there must be more to it something must of triggered her behaviour off but I honestly haven't managed to find any triggers other than a change to her routine or being around lots of people

Hi - welcome.  Everyone here will understand how over-whelming all this is for you - it is a lot to take in.  It'll take time so don't try to learn everything at once.  There's loads of info via the home pg on all sorts of things.  Also the posts are very informative.  Your daughter is very likely to be under a lot of stress at school.  I would ask for a statement of educational needs for her so she can get the support she needs.  Her behaviour is a reaction to the stress.  I think it's important to understand how autism affects your child as an individual.  Is she verbal?  Has she got a set daily routine she can rely on?  Is that routine designed to take her autism into account etc.  Has she got any sensory issues such as certain noises, smells, tastes, fabrics etc which upset or worse?  The other thing is that in my opinion a parent shouldn't relate to their autistic child in the same way as they would a non-autistic child - it simply doesn't work + can make matters worse.  I think the best thing to do is to get yourself acquainted with autism, recognise how it affects your daughter, make changes in your daily lives to accommodate that + get a statement of educational needs.  I know it sounds like a mountain to climb but remember, 1 step at a time.  The more you understand, the more you can relate to her + help her + things should start to improve.  You''ll find your increased understanding will mean you see your daughter in a different way + you'll realise how difficult life can be for her.  Also don't forget to come back here with any questions you may have. (smileys not working again!)