My daughter just got diagnosed with autistic traits and conduct disorder

Hi - me again.  It sounds like she's v sensitive to noise, crowds, that sort of thing.  It's a different degree of sensitivity to what we experience, multiply it by 5 or 10 + you'll get the picture.  If you add in changes to her routine then that adds up to a difficult day for her. Much much more difficult that it would be for an non autistic child.   So even with your pictoral timetable, if it's sometimes showing busy and/or noisy places then it won't be reassuring, it'll be the opposite.  When she's in these places she's experiencing high levels of anxiety + a sensory overload.  When you try + comfort her, you add to that overload.  I would avoid those places if you can, or go at a time of day when they're quieter.  When she gets upset, keep your body language to a minimum + keep your voice calm.  Tell her you understand.  When she is calm you can talk to her to work out a strategy about what to do if she is in a distressing situation.  By doing this it could reassure her + when that situation arises you can jointly implement it....in other words ....leave.   My son has a strong negative reaction to 1 or 2 noises so we take that into account in that we walk away from the source of the noise, saying reassuring things as we go. We would never stay in that situation.   When you visit "friends??" who have this attitude, which must be difficult for you, have they got a quiet place she can go at their house?   My son enjoyed visiting friends of ours who had a room where he could watch tv etc.  He would still pop in to see us every now + then but spent most of his time happily in there with a nice meal provided!  Some people show an unsympathetic attitude towards autism, which can be hurtful.  Some people are more understanding.  They judge your daughter as if she was a non-autistic child + suggest ways of disciplining her which won't work.  If they keep on like this then I'd seriously question whether they're worth it, but that's just me.  Does she like music - would she use headphones?  These can be helpful in noisy places.  If possible avoid the stresses that trigger her meltdowns.  It may also be worth checking out other schools, inc. mainstream who have an autism unit attached + schools which are exclusively autistic.

Hi - me again.  It sounds like she's v sensitive to noise, crowds, that sort of thing.  It's a different degree of sensitivity to what we experience, multiply it by 5 or 10 + you'll get the picture.  If you add in changes to her routine then that adds up to a difficult day for her. Much much more difficult that it would be for an non autistic child.   So even with your pictoral timetable, if it's sometimes showing busy and/or noisy places then it won't be reassuring, it'll be the opposite.  When she's in these places she's experiencing high levels of anxiety + a sensory overload.  When you try + comfort her, you add to that overload.  I would avoid those places if you can, or go at a time of day when they're quieter.  When she gets upset, keep your body language to a minimum + keep your voice calm.  Tell her you understand.  When she is calm you can talk to her to work out a strategy about what to do if she is in a distressing situation.  By doing this it could reassure her + when that situation arises you can jointly implement it....in other words ....leave.   My son has a strong negative reaction to 1 or 2 noises so we take that into account in that we walk away from the source of the noise, saying reassuring things as we go. We would never stay in that situation.   When you visit "friends??" who have this attitude, which must be difficult for you, have they got a quiet place she can go at their house?   My son enjoyed visiting friends of ours who had a room where he could watch tv etc.  He would still pop in to see us every now + then but spent most of his time happily in there with a nice meal provided!  Some people show an unsympathetic attitude towards autism, which can be hurtful.  Some people are more understanding.  They judge your daughter as if she was a non-autistic child + suggest ways of disciplining her which won't work.  If they keep on like this then I'd seriously question whether they're worth it, but that's just me.  Does she like music - would she use headphones?  These can be helpful in noisy places.  If possible avoid the stresses that trigger her meltdowns.  It may also be worth checking out other schools, inc. mainstream who have an autism unit attached + schools which are exclusively autistic.