Ways to cope with visiting a restaurant/café, improving the experience for children.

Honestly, I think a big help would be having a chill area for families where kids can just relax without too much noise or people staring.

These are good suggestions too, the only thing I want to add as someone who's been in that industry is the plates AND dividers couldn't just be plastic, they would have to be ceramic and not something the resturant could cheap out on because a plastic plate / divider c/would melt under the hot lamp of the holding area (where a couple plates of food for the same table are waiting for the other orders of that table so they can go out at  - and the whole table can eat at the same time.)

A ‘plain’ menu would be very helpful as texture is a big issue for my little brother. So options like plain pasta, plain burger or the option to have just the bread, common beige food such as potatoes waffles. Same with desserts. The strange looks we get when we ask for ice cream with no sauce or burger bread but no burger. Plates with dividers for those who don’t like different foods to touch. You can get easy grip cutlery, autism chairs etc. I think having the freedom to move around would be useful so maybe an area specifically for families with autistic children with lots of sensory toys. Game consoles or iPads. The most restrictive part of restaurants is the toilets. A family toilet with hoist that is unisex so a father can accompany  a younger daughter with no hand driers just paper towels. As the noise freaks most children out let alone those with autism. And to have a zero tolerance policy for those who are judgemental toward those with additional needs.

I've seen paper placemats for kids with colouring or puzzles on, it would be cool to have a range for all ages, or mazes too, I used to enjoy those. Even just blank paper for drawing. Some puzzles can be collaborative, like a quiz, if people would like to have something like chat but with a purpose. Or even the table itself could have puzzles or game boards on. A cafe I used to go to knit group had vintage newspapers as the table tops (with the transparent plastic sticking it down, can't remember the name of that stuff!)

This also makes me realise that THINGS TO DO while you wait for your food could be a good addition.  

NT people like to use that time to chat, but if like me you struggle to make conversation that could be a strained time.  Adult colouring pages, logic puzzles, stim toys etc could be good fun and help patrons to stay relaxed.

I love these ideas! Especially the adjustable lighting.

In terms of getting the waiter's attention, you could even have a simple sign on a stand that says "service please" on one side and "do not disturb" on the other.

Also to add that as an autistic adult with children, I would suggest marketing it towards "autistic people" rather than just autistic children and their families is an important distinction.  There are a bazillion things out there for children, but barely anything for adults.

I think a calm atmosphere is the most important thing. Booths where not many people can overlook the individual diner, would be preferable. Surfaces that are sound-absorbent, rather than reflecting is also a useful feature. I was once in a Japanese restaurant that had an interesting feature, it had a series of very low tables, like you would find in very traditional Japanese eateries, except, to cater for Westerners' inability to sit cross-legged in comfort, the area under each table was sunken into the floor. You could sit upright on cushions aroundn the edge of the 'pit', with your legs down. What struck me was that the area under the table could have been converted to a sensory area for autistic children, or indeed any children.  They could pop up to eat and be entertained between courses by playing under the table.

That's an interesting project. We're a varied bunch, so what works for one might not work for all. I have some initial thoughts, in no particular order.

Not being too noisy, not having background music as that can induce sensory overload, maybe even some sound deadening, certainly not being echoey. Or maybe one room with gentle music and one without. Maybe individual booths for each family as some don't like being watched eat, or watching or hearing others eat. Some of them should have very calm colours and some bright cheerful colours with fairy lights, but not the kind that flash. In fact it might be fun for each booth to be plain white but with adjustable lighting that could be dim or bright, cool or warm, plain or coloured. Personally I need to be able to see out a window or I feel a bit anxious, but no idea if that is just me or others have that!

Smells can be a problem! Personally I can't stand vinegar so fish and chip places are a problem for me! Having good but quiet extractor fans would probably help. The temperature can be an issue, as we don't always notice if we are too hot or cold but it can still contribute to overwhelm.

Comfortable seating - maybe even some booths which allow sitting on the floor or on cushions like some other cultures? But not all on the floor, some people have a very strong preference for traditional! Maybe even table with adjustable heights or that can be removed easily, like folded up into the wall and the chairs can be switched for cushions or also benches that can fold up into the wall and the cushions from them put on the floor instead? Soft fabrics for the cushions, not sweaty slippery plastic seating or hard chairs is my preference but others may differ.

Another angle which would be a huge help would be to have a website with all the info about what to expect. Not just written, though do have that, but also a video walkthrough showing all the seating options and what to expect both when it is quiet and busy. And be able to book online or by phone, and when booking for the option of stating needs and preferences, book a specific booth, a calm or bright colour scheme, traditional table or floor seating or whatever options are available.

Being able to pre-order the food would be a huge help for many of us, especially if there were food preferences. An adaptable menu so if someone wants all their food the same colour, not touching, all smooth or all crunchy that could happen. If booked far enough in advance the possibility of having a food item not usually on the menu might help some. Also allowing the food for a particularly sensitive person to be brought from home but served with other people's food. Some prefer bland food while others may be sensory seekers and need strong flavours, so both options as well as the range in between would be ideal.

The toilets should have a quiet flush and not those horrible noisy blown air hand dryers! In fact individual cubicles like disabled ones are generally nicer than the ones with multiple cubicles off them. And the soap not smelling horrible but being a gentle kind.

The staff would need to be kind but expect a wide range of possible responses as some of us are quite social and like to chat while others prefer not to, and some are even non verbal. I hadn't thought of what Sam mentioned about how wait staff would know when to approach, but if the booths were not transparent, there could be some kind of indicator to signal when attention was requested.

Some of these thoughts are based on things I have heard or read others say about either themselves or autistic kids and others have come from my personal experience.

Not just for kids but also autistic adults who struggle to hear/process voices, and people who just naturally speak more quietly than others have tables along the wall and then in rows parallel to the wall row in semi enclosed booths* to keep the table space calmer, more pirivate to just the family/group not having to listen to or be listened to so easilly by strangers. Because it will help disrupt the sound travel of other table's conversations so the one you can hear loudest are actually the people at your own table as it should be. I used to serve tables so I'll just say now the best way to keep an eye on meal progress or people putting their hands up for assistance is for these tables would be for these booths to be made of a transparent material where the sides are clear and the tops are a colour to shade the main room light from the table if the main room lights are very bright.

* The booths could be made of either a shatter proof glass or thick perspex/perspex like material, but vitally the material of the booths must not touch or else that will allow the sound to travel through because of how vibrations pick up imagine ( is one wall and 0 is another and o is a table, it would look like:
(o)(o)(o)(o)(o)(o)(o)(o)(o)(o)
(o)(o)(o)(o)(o)(o)(o)(o)(o)(o)
(o)(o)(o)(o)(o)(o)(o)(o)(o)(o)
 If you imagine the coloured circles represent people then the V's are the sound waves being caught before they travel to the next table and because of slight echo within the booth it means you can hear the person at the table easier and nobody in the restaurant would have to "speak up" (shout) over other people in the crowded room to be heard by their own tablemates.

You can tell as an autist, ex table server, and parent I have already though A LOT about this haha.