Cycling puncture panic

I did get a lot of beating as a kid as well, so grate your teeth and imagine your ironwill will help you endure it, that was the beginning, and it turned into habit. I don't think I grate my teeth anymore when in pain,

as the bible says: faith can move mountains 

I do it on other occassions, like when I'm angry, I mean teeth grating

Wow, that's a useful skill to be able to switch it off! I have to ignore it up to a point, but being able to switch it off would sure help with going to sleep! Although I do see the downside too.

AuTriker said:

arthritis

I knew whom I suspect of being autistic, except he is dead now so I can't verify, he had arthitis, constantly in pain  I learnt what it is first time when I was 9, after I had skiing accident and broke my left arm. Ever since, every cold wet winter my joints aches, my right hand wrist is even worse now, hurts all the time, after I had bones fractured twice. But my mind learnt to ignore it, after first spike of pain it just switches it off for a while, but that means natural warning system is disabled, so I can damage it further without knowing

Sorry, I meant to reply to you sooner but got distracted! Joint issues are so difficult. I used to be quite active until I got arthritis around age 20 which was horrible. Then I had pain and no energy so didn't do much for a few years except a bit of walking and also I did take up horse riding, but for various reasons I stopped the horse riding and then I was less and less able to walk, and it isn't enough to have a slow short walk a couple of times a week so I was getting really ill until I got high blood pressure and had to sort myself out.

I did try side saddle horse riding which I found easier on my joints and surprisingly secure. But that is not a cheap hobby! Have you looked into disability sports? Doing that was how I found out about trikes, and also did some disability sailing. I'd have liked to try canoeing but that was too far away from where I live. Often the disability sports are charities so a cheaper way to access fun outdoor activities if you can find one near you.

You can get rain covers for motorbikes, maybe try one of those for your bike? There are some places that do bicycle maintenance courses. And some places that fix bikes up for charities, if you found one like that near you they might teach you and you experiment on the charity bikes. Or you could even try getting hold of a free or very cheap fixer upper bike just to experiment on, even if it was just a kid's bike it would work for trying fixing things and then if you managed to fix it you could give it away.

Thanks for the ideas. I can't rent one as it is a trike not a bike and they are rather rare. My cycle repair guy is very good and will go the extra mile to fix a thing if there is a panic, but sometimes parts take time to order, especially unusual trike parts, although most of the parts are normal bike parts. I ought to try and order the bits I am going to need before I need them, but I am struggling to make myself do this because poor executive functioning!

Part of me is glad I'm not alone, but most of me wishes neither of us was struggling with this!

Hi, I can relate to this so much- I am terrified of my bike breaking down or having a puncture- I used to be very active physically (hiking, running, cycling, horseriding, anything outdoors really) until I got injured and still have lots of joint issues- I can't do much anymore but my gentle daily cycle and short walk that I can still do is part of my routine that I need to function. Exercise was always the only thing that was able to bring me down and calm my mind and relax me and it's already been so hard to not be able to properly exercise for 3 years so I am very attached to the few remnants of exercise I can do...  I had my bike break down quite a few times over past months and it was horrible- I know rationally that my reaction was way out of proportion but I utterly panicked and weeks afterwards everytime I rode my bike I was terrified of having a puncture or another issue again. Then when I moved and had no good place to lock up and store my bike I couldn't sleep well as I was terrified it would be stolen (and I would get up to look out of window and check on it) and also worried it would rust in the rain. I am very attached to my bike and am anxious about using any other bike as I feel like that might upset my knee or joints more... I wish I was able to make minor repairs on my own or that I just had a second bike as a backup. I know this is crazy but I have had so many changes in my life recently and I cling on desperately to this part of my routine.

A few ideas: Is there anywhere in your area where you can rent a bike in case yours breaks down? Or a neighbour or someone that you could borrow a bike from? Have you contacted the various bike shops in your area and worked out if there are any that are able to do fast repairs for simple issues? (Since I moved I haven't figured that out yet but before that it was really useful to know that there was one bike shop that was able to do same day or next day repairs if you went at right time whilst most other shops would take a week even for simple things like a puncture). I wish there were some courses on how to fix a bike... I know there are lots of videos online but I would never feel comfortable experimenting with my own bike as I would be scared to break it/ worsen the issue. 

It's a fine balance- I find it helps to have backup plans in place in case your bike does break down (eg. where can you borrow a replacement and where can you get it repaired?) but on the other hand it is also stressful if you keep thinking about all the possible issues that could arise and how you would solve them- that can just result in even more anxiety. I struggle myself to draw the line and not overthink and worry about this. Not sure if any of this helps but you are not alone ... 

I am feeling a bit post-meltdown tired even though it wasn't a full one, thanks. I don't really want hard wheels, mostly I like to go off road on rough stuff and need big fat tyres for suspension and grip.

I do have a good cycle repair guy, but I don't think I could afford to treat him like the RAC and call him out for a puncture! I have discussed options and he came up with the sealant tubes.

I did like having the sealant in until the patching didn't work well. I am very triggered by waste and the way some cyclists just chuck inner tubes away without even trying to patch them really bothers me. I'm not sure I am able to try and action finding a better solution though, I have tried and the best we managed was the sealant inner tubes.

Unfortunately he doesn't seem good at learning from his mistakes. It is a very difficult situation as he is very helpful and kind when he understands. He does all the cooking and washing up and does other things too. But he seems to think that is enough without changing how he speaks to me, even though his counsellor is emphasising his own negative self talk is bad and thus so is how he talks to me. And if I complain he says but I cooked you dinner isn't that enough? And calls me ungrateful. Which I'm not, but I don't think it's too much to ask for him to try to not trigger me.

As uncomfortable as it would be for me, I do wonder if maybe videoing the conversation (for want of a better word!) might help us analyse it and understand what we could both do to improve. But I'm not sure if I'd remember to do that when it happened...

It is difficult for him I'm sure and rather a ridiculous sight, a middle aged woman having what must look like a toddler temper tantrum. I have tried to tell him I hate it too and I really don't want to be in that state and he can help by staying calm and gentle. But in the moment he seems unable to remember that. I don't know if it is his meds make him unable to remember in a time of stress. I do try to change how I respond but it is jolly hard.

Like with your mum I have to believe he isn't doing it deliberately or he would be a sociopath, which I do not think he is. We have even tried his having a short list to memorise and consult but even then he couldn't manage it! So it must be somehow down to me to control my reaction to both the trigger and to him. I think the best we can manage might be for him to stay quiet while I calm down, but he will have a go at me for being rude and telling him to shut up! Even when I remember to use the words please don't speak for a bit!

I'm really not sure what the solution is, but it does help discussing it calmly and trying to think of options in a forum where people understand where I am coming from, thanks. My Dad can be a good sounding board, but he doesn't really get my problems and can get a bit frustrated with me (he is also undiagnosed autistic).

I hate it when that happens. I hope your ok now. They do reinforced harder wheels for some bikes maybe you could try some?

Anything which reduces your reliance on your husband fixing it is worth considering.

As hard as it is you may have remove yourself from the situation, in order to try and avoid a meltdown at the roadside. Hopefully your husband will learn from the mistakes he is making with the repairs. 

It sounds a difficult situation with your husband. Having his own issues does not excuse mocking you. 

I have a situation with my elderly mum, who finds it increasingly difficult to avoid triggering me. I ask her to stop on a particular topic and then a few minutes later she forgets, starts up again and triggers a meltdown. I know she does not do it deliberately and it is so upsetting for her to see me like that.

Is there a bike repair service nearby or store selling bikes?

I've looked into that. Solid tyres are not suitable. Tubeless is interesting but I think I'd need different rims and that is not such a simple solution. I did have some inner tubes with sealant in but when they do get a puncture they can't fix themselves it seems a patch doesn't stick well.

Would you be able to get puncture proof or solid tyres fitted on your trike?