Diagnosis

Hi,

I have a 20 year old son. In the last 2 years I have become more convinced that he has Asbergers. In hindsight there were things in the past that we just thought were his personality and little quirks. During his A levels he became unwell and was seen by his GP and was underweight and was referred to a dietician without any success. He was seen by a different dietician at each visit. His eating and weight is still an issue 2 years later but he was discharged from the dietetic services. I now feel he became ill at the time of his exams due to high levels of anxiety and in looking back he probably had been struggling with school.

He has gradually over the years become more socially isolated with a very small group of friends. He has very little eye contact and rarely initiates a conversation with us. He stays in his bedroom most of the time mostly on the computer. He does also appear to have some sensory problems. He has never had a girlfriend and rarely goes out socially. I did approach the GP and put the idea of Asbergers to her. She did not want to discuss this and made me feel stupid for suggesting it and said that if he has Asbergers he was in very good company. End of conversation!! When my daughter started secondary school she became friends with a girl whose brother has Asbergers and I became more convinced when her mother after a short conversation with me about my son asked me if I ever thought about him having Asbergers. I felt the hairs stand on my back as I was going along this line of thought

He started University and in now at the end of his 2nd year. I have been worried about how he is coping but my husband until recently didn't support me in my thoughts. He has just told my husand that in the last few weeks he hasn't handed in his coursework and he didn't do his exam. I had noticed that he was sleeping more and eating less and appeared anxious (this was the way he was when doing his A levels). Today he appears as if a weight has been lifted off his shoulders.

We have not discussed our thoughts with our son and are not sure then how we go about seeking a diagnosis (especially as the GP was so dismissive of me in the past) I really feel as if I have let my son down as I have thought about this for the last 2 years but have let it go to this. I'm sorry this is so long winded but I just needed to get it off my chest. For the first time today my husband actually looked up some information online and contacted the National Autisic Society and is waiting for someone to get back to him. Any suggestions would be very welcome.

Thanks

Broughton

Parents

longman over 14 years ago

It is fairly common for students to fail to submit work on time, though not to turn up for an exam is less common - more often they turn up but fail to make much use of the opportunity, though resit exams are often missed.
For students on the spectrum two things seem to happen. One is the bottleneck effect of assignments and anxiety about this can get so severe that work isn't done. The other is an asperger logic type of phenomenon, where if part of the coursework seems pointless or uninteresting they opt not to do it. It sounds like the former but it is worth exploring both possibilities. Does he have spiralling anxiety and does he get very stressed when too much is going on (relative to most students who do this to some extent)?
It is often said that being a student is easier these days, but it isn't. My generation was mainly assessed by exams. The current university generation are coursework assessed, and there tends to be lots of it, with wide differences in lecturer expectations. Some of the coursework looks easier to me, but its the sheer amount that is making things tough. So students flunking assessed work is not uncommon. You need to look more closely at what other factors are in play.
It might be worth him talking to the disability support service on campus. If he choses to do so they may be able to facilitate a course of action. Universities are getting more experience of supporting students on the spectrum, and while it varies a bit, they are getting reasonably good at supporting this group.

Reply

longman over 14 years ago

It is fairly common for students to fail to submit work on time, though not to turn up for an exam is less common - more often they turn up but fail to make much use of the opportunity, though resit exams are often missed.
For students on the spectrum two things seem to happen. One is the bottleneck effect of assignments and anxiety about this can get so severe that work isn't done. The other is an asperger logic type of phenomenon, where if part of the coursework seems pointless or uninteresting they opt not to do it. It sounds like the former but it is worth exploring both possibilities. Does he have spiralling anxiety and does he get very stressed when too much is going on (relative to most students who do this to some extent)?
It is often said that being a student is easier these days, but it isn't. My generation was mainly assessed by exams. The current university generation are coursework assessed, and there tends to be lots of it, with wide differences in lecturer expectations. Some of the coursework looks easier to me, but its the sheer amount that is making things tough. So students flunking assessed work is not uncommon. You need to look more closely at what other factors are in play.
It might be worth him talking to the disability support service on campus. If he choses to do so they may be able to facilitate a course of action. Universities are getting more experience of supporting students on the spectrum, and while it varies a bit, they are getting reasonably good at supporting this group.

Children

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