Autism and a life worth living.

Hello Kate thank you for your kind lovely message. I tend to overthink and focus on things sometimes "think we all do this don't we?" and that leads to me feeling like this over how I look. The pain is upsetting as that's every day but it's feeling a little easier at the moment so I'm hoping it will be a good day today. 

I'm sorry to hear about your scar and I understand feeling like everyone was looking. I feel that all the time with my scar, I expect you're right no one will be looking probably. It's probably just me overthinking things as usual. But I can't help it. I can only imagine how anxious that made you at school? I had dreadful anxiety at school. I'm hoping people don't really notice it. 

I'm really glad you've got your family Kate. They are so lucky to have such an understanding and wonderful woman in their lives. I bet you are what keeps them going as well. I think a lot of the time it's families that gives people the strength they need.

I do worry about disappointing my family but I hope I'm wrong and you're right about never disappointing them.

Hi Paige, I’m sorry your struggling at the moment. It must be very difficult to deal with pain and also having a scar on your face - it must take a huge amount of courage to deal with that. I have quite a big scar on my leg and when I was at school I remember being very self conscious about it in PE lessons - I felt people were looking at it and it made me feel awful. Looking back on it I realise that probably nobody probably even cared about it - and that people are actually really understand and empathise with people with scars etc. 
I’m so glad you have a loving and supportive family. 
My husband and children are what keeps me going too - without them I doubt I’d even still be here. 
I’m sure you’d never disappoint your family - because they love you and when you really love someone you don’t feel disappointed in them - you always understand them and support them. x 

I'm so sorry you are finding things so hard at the moment. I send you hugs and positive vibes. I hope things start to get a bit better.

I don't find a lot of reasons to keep going on with life. As time goes by I'm seeing less for myself.

My autism is difficult at the best of times. I'm in pain constantly and my face is scarred and deformed on one side which at times makes me feel special but overall it looks weird and makes me feel bad.

I guess what keeps me going is I love my family and don't want to upset and disappoint them.

After speaking with the men in the study, Helles found that many seem happy with their lives. kdealer.com “I think it is an important distinction that even though someone has severe difficulties with functioning in everyday life, they can still be happy,” he says.

Hi Thane,

first of all I want to say how very sorry I am that you are feeling this way, and have so much to cope with. I also have really bad anxiety and ptsd - and have some depression too as a result. It’s exhausting isn’t it? I’m so sorry that you are considering Dignitas - you must be feeling so desperate. Do you have any friends or family to support you at the moment? Or anyone you can turn to locally? 
You are dealing with so much - that’s so much to handle and it’s no wonder you’re feeling so dispirited. 

i think what makes life worth living for me is my children and my husband. I’m an artist and until recently my art made my worth living - but I was very ill last year and haven’t returned to my art since as I’ve had such bad anxiety and ptsd. So at the moment my art is not there for me in the way it was - it’s ceased to give me joy and I’ve lost my motivation to work at the moment. 
I think what’s keeping me going also is the hope that things will get better. They say ‘the only thing that is certain is change’ - and that applies to good times and also (thankfully) bad times. So I am hoping that this very difficult period in my life will eventually just be a memory. And memories fade. 

I love nature too, and holidays (when I can). Do you like walking and nature? Today we went for a walk and we spotted 2 Hares - and these are my son’s favourite animal so he was really pleased. 

Are there things that you still enjoy - despite the challenges you are coping with? 

In terms of the stigma - that doesn’t bother me too much. I do get annoyed when people stare at my son if he’s pacing around/stimming etc - but ultimately I don’t care too much what other people think. My son really does though - he feels that people are noticing him and judging him - and he feels very self conscious about that. Anthony Hopkins says “what other people think of me is none of my business’ - and I always remember that regarding this issue.

Strangers don’t know you, they don’t know about all the challenges you face, or what you’ve achieved. Their opinion is uninformed and therefore ultimately worthless. 

Take care, I hope you feel a bit better soon. 

Benfotiamine tablets relieved me of Tinnitus. The tablets are available on Amazon, but not Holland and Barrett. (my normal go-to place)

Ditching TV was a wise decision for me; as I have no time for mind-numbing tripe. The Internet is more worthwhile. You control the Internet, the TV controls you.

Music is an excellent outlet. I'm starting to buy Vinyl records, and support other Artists on Bandcamp and Patreon.

Hope this helps. 

Being productive or constructive, to society at large or my local community. The very thing that this UK government conspires to make difficult for people like me despite all their rhetoric. At home I try to keep up hobbies, but OCD and executive function issues conspire to make those difficult.

Making music is my salvation. I'm not great at it, don't achieve much.. but ' in the moment ' - it can be therapeutic. Rhythmic music also stimulates the Vagus nerve and I don't know the latest research, but in the past its been reckoned to have an impact on ASD symptoms..

Hi, I am sorry that you are having such a hard time. I am also autistic and I have been struggling a lot recently. You ask "What makes life worth living for those with autism?". I don't think you can really generalise what makes life worth living- it is highly personal and different people have different things that make their life worth living- Also I think neurotypical as well as neuro-divergent people face challenges- though there might be additional challenges for autistic people, as a lot of environments might not be so suited for us. So I think it's about finding what makes life worth it for you- I sometimes also think that there is nothing left that is worth living for but then I try to remind myself of those things that truly made me happy in the past and that I want to experience again: Like standing on a summit,  being free while hiking, or that moment in the lab when an experiment has worked and I am seeing something new and exciting, the joy of learning something new, or the little things: like talking to someone on this forum, watching pigeons build a nest on my balcony. At the moment I am not really able to experience many of those things that made me happy in the past ( due to injury and difficulties with my job/ burnout and not really able to engage in science the way I used to...), but I try to tell myself that with time hopefully I will be able to do those things again. 

Is there any activity or anything you enjoy doing now or enjoyed doing in the past (even if it is just something small, like sitting outside enjoying the sun, or reading a book, having a nice meal etc.)? Can you try to incorporate more of that in your life? (I'm sorry if this sounds overly simplistic... i know that it's not that simple... ) Is there anything you can change in your life or environment that could make things better? (eg. in terms of work or studying or hobbies - are you currently working or studying?) I am feeling very stuck and trapped and unhappy at the moment and this makes it hard to make changes (also I worry that I am the problem, not my environment and that things would be just as bad if I moved/found a new job etc)- but sometimes I think changing things can really help as when you are stuck it is hard to assess what impact the situation you are in is really having on you... I've experienced it before where I only realised how bad something was for me after I moved out of that environment and then experienced huge relief. 

It's very difficult when people do not understand. I just want to say that you are not alone and that there are people in the world that will understand. Maybe it will help connecting to some people on this forum? It has really helped me to talk to people on this forum as well as to some of my close friends. I was feeling extremely low yesterday (called Samaritans several times and I was in a very dark place)- today I feel a bit more optimistic- I spent the morning talking to people on this forum, and I just had a long long call with a friend from university that I hadn't talked to in a while- It gave me some clarity and also a sense of direction/ a plan for what I will do to try and make my life better. I don't know if I will manage to end up doing what I planned but I think I need to change something and I think even if the changes I try don't actually work in terms of improving things, the act of trying to do something about my situation will already be confidence boosting and thereby make things better.... Sorry if I went off on a tangent about my own worries and problems at the moment. I think what I was trying to say was that it can help to talk things through, and it helps to have a plan and to actually make small changes to feel less trapped and less powerless and to get back a sense of control and hope. I am trying to hold on to the idea that things can get better- but for it to get better I need to start trying things and changing things- it might fail but then I will troubleshoot and hopefully eventually things will get moving in the right direction. 

I have no idea if any of this is helpful and I am sorry if I went on too much about my own struggles. I am sending you lots of strength and I hope you find/see some things that make your life living: I am sure there are things-maybe you just haven't spotted or found them yet!! 

I feel exactly the same as I have struggled with mental health since a child the nhs misdiagnosing people with autism