Autism and a life worth living.

Hi, I am sorry that you are having such a hard time. I am also autistic and I have been struggling a lot recently. You ask "What makes life worth living for those with autism?". I don't think you can really generalise what makes life worth living- it is highly personal and different people have different things that make their life worth living- Also I think neurotypical as well as neuro-divergent people face challenges- though there might be additional challenges for autistic people, as a lot of environments might not be so suited for us. So I think it's about finding what makes life worth it for you- I sometimes also think that there is nothing left that is worth living for but then I try to remind myself of those things that truly made me happy in the past and that I want to experience again: Like standing on a summit,  being free while hiking, or that moment in the lab when an experiment has worked and I am seeing something new and exciting, the joy of learning something new, or the little things: like talking to someone on this forum, watching pigeons build a nest on my balcony. At the moment I am not really able to experience many of those things that made me happy in the past ( due to injury and difficulties with my job/ burnout and not really able to engage in science the way I used to...), but I try to tell myself that with time hopefully I will be able to do those things again. 

Is there any activity or anything you enjoy doing now or enjoyed doing in the past (even if it is just something small, like sitting outside enjoying the sun, or reading a book, having a nice meal etc.)? Can you try to incorporate more of that in your life? (I'm sorry if this sounds overly simplistic... i know that it's not that simple... ) Is there anything you can change in your life or environment that could make things better? (eg. in terms of work or studying or hobbies - are you currently working or studying?) I am feeling very stuck and trapped and unhappy at the moment and this makes it hard to make changes (also I worry that I am the problem, not my environment and that things would be just as bad if I moved/found a new job etc)- but sometimes I think changing things can really help as when you are stuck it is hard to assess what impact the situation you are in is really having on you... I've experienced it before where I only realised how bad something was for me after I moved out of that environment and then experienced huge relief. 

It's very difficult when people do not understand. I just want to say that you are not alone and that there are people in the world that will understand. Maybe it will help connecting to some people on this forum? It has really helped me to talk to people on this forum as well as to some of my close friends. I was feeling extremely low yesterday (called Samaritans several times and I was in a very dark place)- today I feel a bit more optimistic- I spent the morning talking to people on this forum, and I just had a long long call with a friend from university that I hadn't talked to in a while- It gave me some clarity and also a sense of direction/ a plan for what I will do to try and make my life better. I don't know if I will manage to end up doing what I planned but I think I need to change something and I think even if the changes I try don't actually work in terms of improving things, the act of trying to do something about my situation will already be confidence boosting and thereby make things better.... Sorry if I went off on a tangent about my own worries and problems at the moment. I think what I was trying to say was that it can help to talk things through, and it helps to have a plan and to actually make small changes to feel less trapped and less powerless and to get back a sense of control and hope. I am trying to hold on to the idea that things can get better- but for it to get better I need to start trying things and changing things- it might fail but then I will troubleshoot and hopefully eventually things will get moving in the right direction. 

I have no idea if any of this is helpful and I am sorry if I went on too much about my own struggles. I am sending you lots of strength and I hope you find/see some things that make your life living: I am sure there are things-maybe you just haven't spotted or found them yet!! 

Hi, I am sorry that you are having such a hard time. I am also autistic and I have been struggling a lot recently. You ask "What makes life worth living for those with autism?". I don't think you can really generalise what makes life worth living- it is highly personal and different people have different things that make their life worth living- Also I think neurotypical as well as neuro-divergent people face challenges- though there might be additional challenges for autistic people, as a lot of environments might not be so suited for us. So I think it's about finding what makes life worth it for you- I sometimes also think that there is nothing left that is worth living for but then I try to remind myself of those things that truly made me happy in the past and that I want to experience again: Like standing on a summit,  being free while hiking, or that moment in the lab when an experiment has worked and I am seeing something new and exciting, the joy of learning something new, or the little things: like talking to someone on this forum, watching pigeons build a nest on my balcony. At the moment I am not really able to experience many of those things that made me happy in the past ( due to injury and difficulties with my job/ burnout and not really able to engage in science the way I used to...), but I try to tell myself that with time hopefully I will be able to do those things again. 

Is there any activity or anything you enjoy doing now or enjoyed doing in the past (even if it is just something small, like sitting outside enjoying the sun, or reading a book, having a nice meal etc.)? Can you try to incorporate more of that in your life? (I'm sorry if this sounds overly simplistic... i know that it's not that simple... ) Is there anything you can change in your life or environment that could make things better? (eg. in terms of work or studying or hobbies - are you currently working or studying?) I am feeling very stuck and trapped and unhappy at the moment and this makes it hard to make changes (also I worry that I am the problem, not my environment and that things would be just as bad if I moved/found a new job etc)- but sometimes I think changing things can really help as when you are stuck it is hard to assess what impact the situation you are in is really having on you... I've experienced it before where I only realised how bad something was for me after I moved out of that environment and then experienced huge relief. 

It's very difficult when people do not understand. I just want to say that you are not alone and that there are people in the world that will understand. Maybe it will help connecting to some people on this forum? It has really helped me to talk to people on this forum as well as to some of my close friends. I was feeling extremely low yesterday (called Samaritans several times and I was in a very dark place)- today I feel a bit more optimistic- I spent the morning talking to people on this forum, and I just had a long long call with a friend from university that I hadn't talked to in a while- It gave me some clarity and also a sense of direction/ a plan for what I will do to try and make my life better. I don't know if I will manage to end up doing what I planned but I think I need to change something and I think even if the changes I try don't actually work in terms of improving things, the act of trying to do something about my situation will already be confidence boosting and thereby make things better.... Sorry if I went off on a tangent about my own worries and problems at the moment. I think what I was trying to say was that it can help to talk things through, and it helps to have a plan and to actually make small changes to feel less trapped and less powerless and to get back a sense of control and hope. I am trying to hold on to the idea that things can get better- but for it to get better I need to start trying things and changing things- it might fail but then I will troubleshoot and hopefully eventually things will get moving in the right direction. 

I have no idea if any of this is helpful and I am sorry if I went on too much about my own struggles. I am sending you lots of strength and I hope you find/see some things that make your life living: I am sure there are things-maybe you just haven't spotted or found them yet!!