Published on 12, July, 2020
HI all,
I've come across the concept of Intolerance of Uncertainty - something my psychologist mentioned and after a recent blip I've started investigating it. Most of the material I've come across is academic papers (taking a wee bit of time to absorb) but I was wondering if anyone else had come across the idea and what they made of it?
On a semi-related topic the Coursera platform is running a course by the Yale Centre of Emotional Intelligence: Managing Emotions in Times of Uncertainty and Stress. It's free (although you can pay £36 for a certificate if you want one). Link > https://www.coursera.org/learn/managing-emotions-uncertainty-stress
It's intended for school staff (and neurotypicals) but looking at the syllabus I'm fairly sure there's ideas that might give me another perspective and increase emotional awareness. I'm going to explore it - but I thought I'd share in case anyone else is interested.
The course leader Marc Brackett has a website @ https://www.marcbrackett.com/ (apologies for the big book ad slap bang in the middle of the homepage - I'm not on commission, It's the video I'm pointing to)
I’ve been thinking about it some time ago when I realised that a lot of my problems stem from intolerance of uncertainty. I worry a lot about what’s going to happen and what should I do, how and when. As soon as I’ve got detailed step by step plan I’m fine.
Actually no, I’m not. I keep worrying that something might change along the way and that’s why I need plan B and C as well.
But then I’ve got problems with coming up with all those plans and possible solutions and ways things might go wrong.
So I’ve developed severe anxiety that something unplanned is going to happen and I won’t be prepared for that, because I’m unable to predict every possible way the situation might develop. Too many variables.
I’ve tried to accept uncertainty but all I’ve managed was to make myself withdrawn and numb. I’ve distanced myself but it felt wrong because I started to care less, talk less, move less and more slowly and engage less in life. Because what’s the point if I don’t know what’s going to happen? Why invest myself in something that might not be here tomorrow?
As soon as I try to get out of this torpor my anxiety is back.
I know I need to find some balance, some middle ground but haven’t found it yet. But then I doubt some course can teach me that. But then maybe it’s worth trying, no harm in trying.
Hi Ladybird,
Many thanks for this and I think I get where you're coming from. I'm also skeptical that the course will be a silver bullet but as emotional awareness and management is something I'm just cr*p at I'm hoping it'll give me a few additional pointers/skills to make things easier. The last blip (11 hours of mania and just sheer all round psychological and emotional unpleasantness) I had, I unpicked my reaction - and it wasn't just frustration at a work issue, it was a fight or flight response because I could't get the information I needed (thought I needed!) to manage the uncertainty and all the questions about the situation.
Just out of interest I notice you've had a pretty rough time with CBT (I did too, if I did the whole analysing my thoughts thing I'd never have time for anything else). Have you come across "The Happiness Trap" by Russ Harris? It's based on Acceptance/Commitment Therapy - and I found it really useful to help me grow in self-management and set me on a course (as did my therapist) of learning to recognise, engage with and sit with how I was feeling.
Recommended to me by my GP. He suggested the illustrated pocket book which at the time I found a lot easier to digest.
Some free stuff to get an idea of Harris' thought https://thehappinesstrap.com/free-resources/
I've always found CBT is complete BS for auties - and the only reason it's still used is because we are bullied into telling them we feel better afterwards. Our natural naive, people-pleaser nature makes us comply with these con-merchants.
Interesting reply there Dawn. especially paragraph 2.
We are not alone it seems.