Confused and annoyed

I have a lovely 5 year old son who is presenting with increasingly worrying behaviour and I'm not sure what to do next.  He loved nursery and would have the occasional meltdown but since starting school these are increasingly frequent.  Typical triggers may be something incidental that has happened at school, the colour of the seat he is sitting in, not being able to find something he is looking for.  These incidents result in screaming, crying, spitting, smacking, kicking, punching and sometimes biting.  I am really sad because he is genuinely distressed and although he laughs while showing this behaviour, when he comes out of the other side is genuinely sorry.  He is very particular about how he likes certain things to be.  He finds choices hard, eg: choosing a comic as a reward can take 20 minutes, and has to be limited to a very small amount of choices as he becomes quite agitated.  He will only go to poos if he takes all his clothes off and will squat on the toilet, has to have the labels cut out of his pants or he becomes very upset, and has a very particular way of doing up his shoes, asks for help then becomes very angry and throws them if it's not the way he wanted them to be.  I went to see my GP who referred him to CAMHS, who said he didn't meet their thresholds and wouldn't accept the referral.  At at that time he was showing risk taking behaviour, eg: jumping half way down the stairs to the bottom when he became agitated.  I really don't know where to go next?  He is getting on well at school and when I have spoken to them previously the staff seem incredulous that I am describing the same child!  Recently there are often days on end when he seems to find everything stressful and is constantly angry and irritable.  I would just like advice on how to help him the best as it's awful seeing so distressed.

Any advice/comments would be welcome.  Have tried rewards/behaviour charts, etc, with very limited success.

If Aspergers(AUTISM), goes unchecked it becomes a greater problem long-term, so giving assistance just now saves the Government and NHS millions in cost later on. I suppose that keeps people in jobs, but normally it takes a crash and burn situation before any assist is given.  With the right positive support you finish your studies. The key is too get something in place that works for you, which can be hard to achieve especially if you have Aspergers, trying to communicate pain.

i hope you can continue with uni,now you are aware of your challenges ,have you any strategys you can use to help you.as people here have said your uni may have support for you if you ask them for help.

There will be sigificant amounts of support available to you from your university.  With the advice above about the Autism Act I suggest you explain the the CMHT also that you will be eligible for support from your univeristy's disability office - hopefully this will nudge them into taking action on a formal diagnosis.

Sorry to hear things are tough. Your story sounds very like my sons. When he was 17 he ended up taking a year out of his A levels as life had overwhelmed him.

Luckily we managed to get a diagnosis of Aspergers  ( he's had difficulties all his life)and things are really picking up fo him. he's now picked up his studies and hopes to get to uni next autumn

A few suggestions for you . Do your council have an autism team ? If so might be worth speaking to. Have you a local austim society, they may be able to help you find the way to diagnosis. Ot your local Mencap. It's going to take a bit of effort to find the peopl who can help you , but you will find them - don't give up. Even go back to your GP.

Earlier this year my son was referred to CMHT too. After a chat with him , they explained he wasn't bad enough to come under their team, but in a posisitve way. You need to get tp see the Physchologist rather than the psychiatic nurses .

Are you back at Uni? If so, try and get to speak to the diability team. Although you don't have a diagnosis yet they have good support mechanisms and may be able to get you help through their contacts.

Have you got family who can help you get to the right people - sometimes its a bit of a battle but you shuld push for it.

A diagnosis could get you financial support at uni and beyond, a mentor to help you with your studies as some allowances made for you at Uni when you are having a tricky patch. They'll help keep you on track and stop you feeling orverwhelmed.

Keep posting and we'll keep helping.

Sorry to hear things are tough. Your story sounds very like my sons. When he was 17 he ended up taking a year out of his A levels as life had overwhelmed him.

Luckily we managed to get a diagnosis of Aspergers  ( he's had difficulties all his life)and things are really picking up fo him. he's now picked up his studies and hopes to get to uni next autumn

A few suggestions for you . Do your council have an autism team ? If so might be worth speaking to. Have you a local austim society, they may be able to help you find the way to diagnosis. Ot your local Mencap. It's going to take a bit of effort to find the peopl who can help you , but you will find them - don't give up. Even go back to your GP.

Earlier this year my son was referred to CMHT too. After a chat with him , they explained he wasn't bad enough to come under their team, but in a posisitve way. You need to get tp see the Physchologist rather than the psychiatic nurses .

Are you back at Uni? If so, try and get to speak to the diability team. Although you don't have a diagnosis yet they have good support mechanisms and may be able to get you help through their contacts.

Have you got family who can help you get to the right people - sometimes its a bit of a battle but you shuld push for it.

A diagnosis could get you financial support at uni and beyond, a mentor to help you with your studies as some allowances made for you at Uni when you are having a tricky patch. They'll help keep you on track and stop you feeling orverwhelmed.

Keep posting and we'll keep helping.

Thanks for the replies. I never knew that there was any legal obligation so thanks for telling me about that. Also I will look into the helpline but I may have difficulty calling it as I only have a mobile which charges highly for 0800 calls.

Thanks for your help both of you.

The Autism Act states that all adults with suspected AS should receive a proper assessment from trained professionals. You can demand this as a basic right, now enshrined in law. You can't be diagnosed with AS by just taking a simple screening test, although this can point to the possibility of having the condition. Check out the Autism Act and get acquainted with your rights, and be pushy; sadly this is often the only way that things will progress for you.