I am high-functioning on the autism spectrum, and currently I am doing a Masters degree in Library and Information Studies. I have been struggling with dealing with being resiliant and self-esteem since I have been bullied at school. I have managed to get good GCSEs, A Levels, and a good undergraduate degree, but I struggle to move forward from the past which has left with bad anxiety and comfort eating issues to make me forget them. Does anyone have any strategies about how to be more resiliant and not let a bad day encompass how you feel for a long time (meaning, how do you get through them without reminding yourself about them)?
I was 45 before I was diagnosed, Many would say I coped very well - but many of my coping mechanisms were entirely unsustainable in the long term.. It led to serious mental health problems in my 40s. My autism only really came to my attention as I watched my autistic son struggle - it's almost like watching myself as a child. Except this time, I can make sure that he has the support and understanding he deserves.
I was also bullied at school. All I can say is it all lies within you, CBT helped me. Anti-depressants, also, I have also struggled with addictive behaviors - but with me it is around alcohol and drugs. You sound young, You've been successful in your studies. Give yourself a break, Give yourself permission to be different, and structure your days as you need to. Bullies are always unhappy and insecure. It's all about them, and has nothing to do with you. Have compassion for yourself. You've clearly done well for yourself. There is no reason why you won't continue to do well.
I hope that helps, but do comment further if you feel the need to,
I have a similar problem with anxiety largely stemming from childhood bullying.
I benefited a bit from some counselling. If you haven't had that or haven't for a while, try to see if your GP can refer you to anyone or if there is some available in your university.
I think if you make really tasty, wholesome meals it's easier to avoid comfort eating.
This morning I made a recipe of pasta and beans I found in The Guardian by the food writer Rachel Roddy. It took over 2 hours to make but it was a filling and nourishing meal and I have 3 leftover portions in the fridge, for the next 3 days.
The soup has fresh rosemary and parsley in it as well as onion, celery and beans. Soups are quite good as a staple food to have because they leave you less hungry. It could be easier to avoid snacking.
But the meal was not freakishly healthy either. There were 6 tablespoons of olive oil used in the frying at the beginning. So a balanced meal, I'd say. I feel quite relaxed now after eating it .
Thank you for sharing this with the community. I'm sorry to hear that you have been struggling with self-esteem and anxiety.
You may find the following link from the NAS website on anxiety in Autistic adults useful: https://www.autism.org.uk/about/behaviour/anxiety.aspx
Similarly, you may find this link to Eating behaviours in people with Autism helpful: https://www.autism.org.uk/about/health/eating.aspx
You may like to contact our Autism Helpline team who can provide you with information and advice . You can contact the team via telephone on 0808 800 4104 (Monday to Thursday 10am to 4pm, Friday 9am to 3pm). Please note that the Helpline is experiencing a high volume of calls and it may take a couple of attempts before you get through to speak to an advisor. Alternatively, should you prefer to send a message, you can do so via their webform:
I hope this helps,
Thank you @ChloeMod. I will take a look at the links.
Thank you Roswell. I am at home so luckily I will get some wholesome and tasty meals (despite the quarantine!). Do you know of any online counselling that could be beneficial? I found it's the better form of therapy for me.
People have the same opinions about me, they think I cope very well but I do not have good coping mechanisms I freeze or flight in the moment and then self-harm myself or cry which makes me feel embarrassed. I am glad that your son is getting support, hope it continues for you and your son at this moment in time.
The mental scars of bullying has not lefr me yet, and I have only just really understood it. I only had the instructions part of CBT and it did not work for me, and I have been told I might not need anti-depressants. I would like counselling though, do you know any online counselling sessions?
I am glad that I have done well in my studies, but I feel like people only see that as evidence that I am fine. I do want a good future for myself but I sometimes feel like it is the only non-self harming thing that gets me through the day. I know I am different but I wish I do not have to explain it. I never want to see the bullies again.
I don't know of any online counselling I'm afraid NAS66392. I wish I could get some myself at the moment. There might be something that can be found through Google. Most probably it will have to be paid for and might cost as much as an in-person conselling session which I think are usually about £30-45.
Are you making anything tasty soon?
I had white rice with fried aubergine slices earlier on. That was quite nice.
That I will have a look. I had homecooked fish and chips with spinach which was really tasty and probably healthier than takeaway fish and chips. What you had sounds lovely.
Hi. I'm sorry to hear you're struggling - I struggle with anxiety too, and I can have a tendency to go to food for some comfort.
The best thing I did for myself was to get mental health support; I had CBT for anxiety and OCD for most of last year and it got me to a much better place, although I definitely still have my ups and downs.
In terms of eating, I find it's best to distract myself if I'm feeling like I just want to snack constantly. Hobbies like playing a musical instrument, writing, or doing puzzles (tasks you can really immerse yourself in) often help to distract me from the desire to overeat. Also, make sure that you're getting three good meals a day, so you'll be less likely to snack inbetween.
Thank you DuckBread . It is okay to know that I am not alone in this, although I am sorry that you struggle too. I would definitely like mental health support especially counselling that offers practical advice, which I assume is an elemet of CBT. I have had ups and downs, but counselling calmed me down. However, it was more about talking than offering strategies.
I get three good meals a day, but I definitely still struggle. I don't like it, otherwise I will buy from every shop in my area and go broke. I suppose the coronavirus will stope me from buying food to snack on. I will try to distract myself especially since I have a lot of essays to do.