I'm on my own

Thanks!

Hi. I'm very sorry for your loss - it must be an incredibly difficult time. I'd agree with previous advice to contact the Citizens' Advice Bureau. You might also find the Money Advice Service helpful for things like the mortgage.

I hope you're able to get the support you need.

Great support!

There’s no need to apologise. Thank you for taking the time to reply now. It’s horrible when the death is still so recent! I remember just feeling completely numb. This probably sounds really sad but I have a Teddy Bear that my dad won in a raffle and gave to me when I was 3. In the months after my dad died, I used to take comfort in talking to that Teddy Bear, as if it was my dad. Do you have any thing that brings you comfort? 
I’m really glad that you have a support woman coming round every day to help and that your sisters are coming home. 
Cancer is awful. It took my dad very quickly. When he was diagnosed in November 1995 he was still fit and strong but by the time he died in May 1996, he was a weak, frail shadow of the man he used to be. I’m ok with it now as it’s such a long time ago. It took me a good 4/5 years to get over it though. I’m here if you ever need to chat. 

Sorry for not writing back sooner. I’ve been feeling really low and don’t know what to do at the moment. Every day has felt empty and horrible without my dad. I spend each day sitting and crying not sure what to do to make it better. The change is humongous and so hard to accept.

I’ll look in to the paperwork for the mortgage and what can be done. I have a support woman who’s come by every day to sit and talk with me, that’s been a lot more helpful than I thought it would be. She said she will help me work things out with the house, money and support. Kitsune I’m really sorry to hear about your dad. My dad also had cancer but was showing signs of improvement which is why this has been such a shock. I really thought he was getting better. I’m so sorry you had to go through this when you were 15, that must have been hard for you to go through at such a tender age. I hope it’s better now and you’ve recovered from the loss. Right now I feel like I’ll never smile again. My sister’s are on their way home. They live further away but should both be here before Sunday.

Totally agree...all i did was ask if he lived alone and he started..

End of now..! 

I also agree. Apologies to all, particularly Angel Short.

Hi! I’m really sorry to hear that you’re going through this. I’m 39 now but I lost my dad to cancer when I was 15. I lived with my dad prior to that as I didn’t and still don’t get on with my mum. I remember it being a very destabilising time. It seems that you are having to also take on a lot of responsibility at a very young age. Are there any other adult family members who could guide and support you with this?

In terms of practical support. CAB Citizens Advice Bureau May be helpful with debt management and helping you to understand documents etc. Also CAP Christians Against Poverty are a nationwide organisation who help with debt management and run budgeting and life skills courses regardless of your religious orientation or lack there of.

And I’m with what @Qliphoth said above. @Autistic Entrepreneur and @Slipstream , please show some respect for the subject matter of this thread and air your disputes elsewhere. It’s very disrespectful on this thread! 

Very sorry for your loss Angel Shot, that must be really tough at such a young age.  People often take out insurance on their mortgage to cover events such as this, it would be worth looking into the paperwork to see if this is the case with your dad's mortgage before you pay anything.  Also worth noting that creditors are usually quite understanding of the fact that it can take time to sort things out after someone dies, so try not to panic.  As Autistic Entrepreneur said, make a list by order of priority and take things one step at a time when you feel ready.

@Autistic Entrepreneur & @SlipStream, no harm to either of you, but this isn't the place to air your grievances.  A little consideration is in order.

Yes, having learnt this from an appropriate source, and with the context of compassionate awareness alongside resilience (or tonglen) that is normally left out of basic 15 week courses (which is a dangerous imbalance) I am not affected by the current campaign of gaslighting. 

but you think its safe telling people not to go to a therapist for mindfulness and telling them to go to a buddhist instead...great logic

Hello Angel, really sorry to hear about your Dad.  My Dad also passed away some years ago, it can be too much to bear, can't it?  I cried a lot.

Who is around in your life, does your sister live with you too?  are you able to help each other ?

This morning my sister gave me some apple to eat with my breakfast and that was nice.

Given our previous interactions, I do not feel safe answering this.

You live alone?

Nice.

I recall I was living on minimal prep foods when I lost parents, little things like having raw carrot alongside the microwave meals and adding berries to cereal really helped.

Thank you. I'm not eating the best but I am eating some stuff.

1. Breathe

2. Don't forget to eat, sounds silly but many don't notice hunger in the sea of emotions following a loss.

3. Understanding what is going on/needs to be done takes a lot of the stress and anxiety out of things, In UK I'd suggest making a list and then going to Citizens advice, US equivalent I think is legal aid.

4. Things will get better