Does anyone else feel trapped?
I've been down for the past few years now. I remember first going to see a doctor back in 2014, so nearly 5 years i've been down. At one point back in 2017 I wanted to kill myself. I know that losing a loved one can be hard, and the only reason i'm still here is because i'd rather feel this way than there even be a alight possibility that my family might feel like this if I was gone. I've tried multiple things to try and feel better but nothing works. Things seem ok for a while, then it just gets bad again and I feel bad. I'm tired of putting effort into trying things that clearly don't work. I'm so done. Nothing I seem to do seems to change the way I think, it's like my brain is wired to just be negative, and doesn't want to change. I feel alone, im always tired, and most days I don't know why I get out of bed. I don't know what to do anymorr, I can't kill myself but I don't want to feel like this anymore
Sorry to hear you are feeling this way. Have you been back to your GP for additional support? Have you tried any therapy in the past?
Your tiredness could be attributed to the depression as it can really drag you down. Do your family know you are going through a difficult time at the moment? If you have a good relationship with them, then it might be worth reaching out to them for support or at least spending some time with them so you are not so isolated.
Are there any areas of your life that you would like to change which would make a massive difference to you? Tackling everything at once is overwhelming so breaking it down into chunks can help.
Hi. I've been back to the GP multiple times. All they seem to want to do is change my medication. For a long time they were reluctant to want to do anything, and thought it would be best for the aspergers/adhd team to deal with me. It was like the doctors didn't want to do anything to effect my aspergers, and the aspergers team didn't want to do anything to make my depression worse, so instead of actually helping they didn't do much for a long time.
I know why i'm tired all the time, but knowing why i'm tired doesn't help at all, I still feel tired, always. My family are aware of my situation, they help where they can, but I feel like there's only so much they can take. It got to a point where my parents and brothers didn't know what to do or say to help, and I was only upsetting them because they wanted to help and couldn't. I don't want to constantly be going to them and unloading everything on them, it isn't fair. They are also the only people I really do anything with. I don't have friends or a girlfriend, and I can't get comfortable enough with people at work, so my family is all I have, but they frustrate me sometimes. I need a break from them too. They are all able to go out and have fun away from everyone else in the family, I can only do something I want to do, if someone else in my family is free and want to do it. I don't have any escape from them.
I want to fix a lot in my life, but when I start working on something, I realise to progress, there is something else that I need to do, and another thing and it goes on and on, until this one thing that I wanted to change has turned into a long list of things I need to work on.
I have tried some counselling/therapy and CBT. I'm currently trying CBT for the second time, but I don't see any point in continuing, it just makes me feel even worse about myself.
I had the same thing happen to me and found the whole process frustrating - at the end of the day the fact we want to help ourselves to feel better should be viewed as a positive and an opportunity by the mental health team to step in and assist. Sadly this doesn't happen. It's not perfect, but I have found the forums helpful when I am going through a particuarly rough patch such as now.
Dean said:I want to fix a lot in my life, but when I start working on something, I realise to progress, there is something else that I need to do, and another thing and it goes on and on, until this one thing that I wanted to change has turned into a long list of things I need to work on.
I can relate to this a lot and one of the reasons I am struggling at the moment is because I am presented with a number of problems I can't see my way out of. I am a very good problem solver (which I imagine you are too), but if I get stuck and can't find an answer or at least options, it often leads me to despair. The one thing I am holding onto at the moment is despite going through these stages numerous times in my life now, I always find a way or a solution is presented to me without expecting it. It's the one hope I am holding onto - things have been much worse in the past and I have still managed to battle on, so there is hope for me now. That might not bring much comfort, but it does help to look back at all the difficult times in the past and even the darkest and reassure yourself that you are still here fighting.
Dean said:I have tried some counselling/therapy and CBT. I'm currently trying CBT for the second time, but I don't see any point in continuing, it just makes me feel even worse about myself.
From personal experience I have found CBT to be useless, but I suspect I suffer with Alexithymia,so I imagine that has a part to play in it. I am currently going through an ACT programme - it's ok, not perfect but better than CBT. It might be worth having a look at that and just take from it what you may find useful.
Have you made a list of what you would like to achieve or 'fix'? These might start out as vague and maybe unrealistic goals, but you can then break them down into more manageable, practical and achievable goals and objectives.
You are not alone in feeling like this. I, myself, have felt like this before (I sometimes still do). Try to think of all of the things that you have achieved in your life and all of the different places that you have been to (If you are a traveller). Also, have you tried writing/creating something, to put what you are feeling into context? When I feel like this, I start to write things i.e. Scripts. I am currently in the process of trying to write a book (When I can get some peace and quiet in the house). I find it therapeutic. I hope that this helps!