I feel trapped

Does anyone else feel trapped?

I've been down for the past few years now. I remember first going to see a doctor back in 2014, so nearly 5 years i've been down. At one point back in 2017 I wanted to kill myself. I know that losing a loved one can be hard, and the only reason i'm still here is because i'd rather feel this way than there even be a alight possibility that my family might feel like this if I was gone. I've tried multiple things to try and feel better but nothing works. Things seem ok for a while, then it just gets bad again and I feel bad. I'm tired of putting effort into trying things that clearly don't work. I'm so done. Nothing I seem to do seems to change the way I think, it's like my brain is wired to just be negative, and doesn't want to change. I feel alone, im always tired, and most days I don't know why I get out of bed. I don't know what to do anymorr, I can't kill myself but I don't want to feel like this anymore

Parents
  • Hi Dean

    Sorry to hear you are feeling this way.  Have you been back to your GP for additional support?  Have you tried any therapy in the past?

    Your tiredness could be attributed to the depression as it can really drag you down.  Do your family know you are going through a difficult time at the moment?  If you have a good relationship with them, then it might be worth reaching out to them for support or at least spending some time with them so you are not so isolated.

    Are there any areas of your life that you would like to change which would make a massive difference to you?  Tackling everything at once is overwhelming so breaking it down into chunks can help.

Reply
  • Hi Dean

    Sorry to hear you are feeling this way.  Have you been back to your GP for additional support?  Have you tried any therapy in the past?

    Your tiredness could be attributed to the depression as it can really drag you down.  Do your family know you are going through a difficult time at the moment?  If you have a good relationship with them, then it might be worth reaching out to them for support or at least spending some time with them so you are not so isolated.

    Are there any areas of your life that you would like to change which would make a massive difference to you?  Tackling everything at once is overwhelming so breaking it down into chunks can help.

Children
  • Hi. I've been back to the GP multiple times. All they seem to want to do is change my medication. For a long time they were reluctant to want to do anything, and thought it would be best for the aspergers/adhd team to deal with me. It was like the doctors didn't want to do anything to effect my aspergers, and the aspergers team didn't want to do anything to make my depression worse, so instead of actually helping they didn't do much for a long time.

    I know why i'm tired all the time, but knowing why i'm tired doesn't help at all, I still feel tired, always. My family are aware of my situation, they help where they can, but I feel like there's only so much they can take. It got to a point where my parents and brothers didn't know what to do or say to help, and I was only upsetting them because they wanted to help and couldn't. I don't want to constantly be going to them and unloading everything on them, it isn't fair. They are also the only people I really do anything with. I don't have friends or a girlfriend, and I can't get comfortable enough with people at work, so my family is all I have, but they frustrate me sometimes. I need a break from them too. They are all able to go out and have fun away from everyone else in the family, I can only do something I want to do, if someone else in my family is free and want to do it. I don't have any escape from them.

    I want to fix a lot in my life, but when I start working on something, I realise to progress, there is something else that I need to do, and another thing and it goes on and on, until this one thing that I wanted to change has turned into a long list of things I need to work on.

    I have tried some counselling/therapy and CBT. I'm currently trying CBT for the second time, but I don't see any point in continuing, it just makes me feel even worse about myself.