Just had my first appointment, need some help.

Just reading what you've written there Hope bears lots of likenesses to myself. For years I've suspected I was 'different' so to say, but I never really looked into things because I thought it was just me and there wasn't much that could be done. I did well in terms of my education at school, despite being extremely anti-social and so nobody else really questioned things. 

Through my later years in school, predominantly A levels, I started to feel that it wasn't right. I saw something on TV about Aspergers and it seemed very similar to myself, so I looked into it. I spoke to a few people I know online who have it, or have children/friends who are diagnosed. All of these people said it's highly likely I could have AS, just through conversations they'd had with me over time. 

Looking back over what you've written, a fairly large amount of those characteristics also apply to myself. I can't speak much of when I was very young, but I know I didn't really have many friends. I found it hard relating to and playing with other children, especially with anything involving imagination - role-playing etc. I was fascinated with how things worked. If any electrical devices stopped working, I always wanted to pull them apart and look at the insides before they were disposed of.

I was extremely anxious as a child, school trips, PE lessons, being called to see teachers, any extra curricular activities etc. All would make me physically sick. I distinctly remember missing the last few weeks of my last year in primary school due to constantly being sick due to anxiety, I was just told to go home and not come back.

Throughout highschool I never had any friends, I didn't go out, didn't do parties or anything. During this time my sleep patterns and routine became rather obscure, often going to school on only a couple of hours sleep. When I left school I worked at Tesco for a very brief period in 2010, obviously that's a very 'people focused' environment and dealing with customers was something I couldn't cope with and I quit. SInce then I've been unemployed.

I know this is a bit out of order as I describe things, but I find it difficult to express it all and put it into words so I'm just writing as it comes to me. I have always had a terrible problem with eating for as long as I can remember. Certain smells of foods used to make me physically wretch and be sick. So much so that just thinking of them as I type this is making me wretch. As a result of this I only really eat a variation of maybe 4 different 'main meals'. 

Sitting still has always been difficult too. I'm constantly tapping my fingers or feet, or fiddling with something. I remember the entire time at school my legs would constantly be shaking up and down and I'd be twirling a pen between my fingers almost constantly.

Being immature is something I can relate to, and people often find me rather offensive. I never mean to offend people as such, but the things I say I don't see as 'wrong'. The very few 'friends' I have, all of which are online, are merely people who are used to me insulting them and understand that's just how I am, as weird as that may sound.

In terms of sensory issues, I guess the smells of food can come under that. I also have problems with certain lights, normally the kind of flourescent lights used in public buildings. These often result in bad headaches for myself if I'm in a building with them for a prolonged time. This wasn't so bad at school as a lot of lights were broken haha, but I can think of many times I've been out shopping and have come home with a banging headache from the lights in some stores.

In the wider social side of things, I find almost everything awkward. Talking on the phone is near impossible for me in terms of a 'social conversation'. If I'm calling a company about something, say a problem with a product I ordered, then I can do this because it's a definitive kind of thing. When it comes to small talk and having a conversation though, I find it very difficult. People that have managed to get more then a simple yes or no out of me often say that all I do is ask questions. They also say that it gets extremely infuriating. That's how I perceive conversation though, I like information so I constantly ask things.

I'm also very awkward with any physical contact. I can't even hug my own parents, a hand-shake is just about bearable. I just find that sort of physical closeness really awkward and I can't be in those kind of situations.

With the topic of OCD, I'm very particular about having things in order. All CD's, DVD's, video games etc. are all ordered in certain ways on shelves and nothing can ever be out of place. I also know where everything is on my desk and in my room as a whole. When I was younger and my mum used to clean my room for me, I would know when something had been moved a matter of centimetres on my desk and it'd drive my crazy and we'd end up in confrontation because of it. In terms of cleanliness, I'm not too bad as long as I know where something has been as such. I can't deal with touching something that I think could be dirty/unclean.

I'm also rather paranoid in public, with transport and such. I'll always have my ipod in, playing music at the top volume to shut out any outside noise form the world completely. Then if walking somewhere, I'll be walking as fast as I can, watching everyone around me and continually looking over my shoulder. Anyone corssing the road towards me will cause me to speed up or walk in a different direction, similarly to anyone walking up behind me.

I also have very bad problems with anger, when I was younger I had amny tantrums over silly things. As I've gotten older, they've gotten more violent. I've punched holes in doors, smashed things etc. It's extremely difficult for me to explain why I 'blow up' as such, but there's always reason behind it. That leads on quite well to not being able to understand/express my emotions well though. If someone asks me a definitive question, I can answer it fine. However, if someone asks me an opinionated question, or I try and explain how I feel about something, or why I feel the way I do I draw a blank. I try my hardest, but it's like the words just aren't there and I just freeze up and can't explain it.

I think that just about covers everything, I can't think of anything more off the top of my head, but there probably are some other things. The woman I saw today said she didn't feel I had AS because I expressed myself very well, and I think I do do quite a good job of explaining my troubles as listed above. But I don't feel explaining something like this pertains to anything of how I am in a social environment. Adding to that the fact she completely disregarded a lot of my points, and only looked into the social side of things which is where she reached her conclusion of social anxiety. Obviously, as you said, AS encompasses much more than just the social issues.

Anyway, I think that's just about detailed enough! :)

Just reading what you've written there Hope bears lots of likenesses to myself. For years I've suspected I was 'different' so to say, but I never really looked into things because I thought it was just me and there wasn't much that could be done. I did well in terms of my education at school, despite being extremely anti-social and so nobody else really questioned things. 

Through my later years in school, predominantly A levels, I started to feel that it wasn't right. I saw something on TV about Aspergers and it seemed very similar to myself, so I looked into it. I spoke to a few people I know online who have it, or have children/friends who are diagnosed. All of these people said it's highly likely I could have AS, just through conversations they'd had with me over time. 

Looking back over what you've written, a fairly large amount of those characteristics also apply to myself. I can't speak much of when I was very young, but I know I didn't really have many friends. I found it hard relating to and playing with other children, especially with anything involving imagination - role-playing etc. I was fascinated with how things worked. If any electrical devices stopped working, I always wanted to pull them apart and look at the insides before they were disposed of.

I was extremely anxious as a child, school trips, PE lessons, being called to see teachers, any extra curricular activities etc. All would make me physically sick. I distinctly remember missing the last few weeks of my last year in primary school due to constantly being sick due to anxiety, I was just told to go home and not come back.

Throughout highschool I never had any friends, I didn't go out, didn't do parties or anything. During this time my sleep patterns and routine became rather obscure, often going to school on only a couple of hours sleep. When I left school I worked at Tesco for a very brief period in 2010, obviously that's a very 'people focused' environment and dealing with customers was something I couldn't cope with and I quit. SInce then I've been unemployed.

I know this is a bit out of order as I describe things, but I find it difficult to express it all and put it into words so I'm just writing as it comes to me. I have always had a terrible problem with eating for as long as I can remember. Certain smells of foods used to make me physically wretch and be sick. So much so that just thinking of them as I type this is making me wretch. As a result of this I only really eat a variation of maybe 4 different 'main meals'. 

Sitting still has always been difficult too. I'm constantly tapping my fingers or feet, or fiddling with something. I remember the entire time at school my legs would constantly be shaking up and down and I'd be twirling a pen between my fingers almost constantly.

Being immature is something I can relate to, and people often find me rather offensive. I never mean to offend people as such, but the things I say I don't see as 'wrong'. The very few 'friends' I have, all of which are online, are merely people who are used to me insulting them and understand that's just how I am, as weird as that may sound.

In terms of sensory issues, I guess the smells of food can come under that. I also have problems with certain lights, normally the kind of flourescent lights used in public buildings. These often result in bad headaches for myself if I'm in a building with them for a prolonged time. This wasn't so bad at school as a lot of lights were broken haha, but I can think of many times I've been out shopping and have come home with a banging headache from the lights in some stores.

In the wider social side of things, I find almost everything awkward. Talking on the phone is near impossible for me in terms of a 'social conversation'. If I'm calling a company about something, say a problem with a product I ordered, then I can do this because it's a definitive kind of thing. When it comes to small talk and having a conversation though, I find it very difficult. People that have managed to get more then a simple yes or no out of me often say that all I do is ask questions. They also say that it gets extremely infuriating. That's how I perceive conversation though, I like information so I constantly ask things.

I'm also very awkward with any physical contact. I can't even hug my own parents, a hand-shake is just about bearable. I just find that sort of physical closeness really awkward and I can't be in those kind of situations.

With the topic of OCD, I'm very particular about having things in order. All CD's, DVD's, video games etc. are all ordered in certain ways on shelves and nothing can ever be out of place. I also know where everything is on my desk and in my room as a whole. When I was younger and my mum used to clean my room for me, I would know when something had been moved a matter of centimetres on my desk and it'd drive my crazy and we'd end up in confrontation because of it. In terms of cleanliness, I'm not too bad as long as I know where something has been as such. I can't deal with touching something that I think could be dirty/unclean.

I'm also rather paranoid in public, with transport and such. I'll always have my ipod in, playing music at the top volume to shut out any outside noise form the world completely. Then if walking somewhere, I'll be walking as fast as I can, watching everyone around me and continually looking over my shoulder. Anyone corssing the road towards me will cause me to speed up or walk in a different direction, similarly to anyone walking up behind me.

I also have very bad problems with anger, when I was younger I had amny tantrums over silly things. As I've gotten older, they've gotten more violent. I've punched holes in doors, smashed things etc. It's extremely difficult for me to explain why I 'blow up' as such, but there's always reason behind it. That leads on quite well to not being able to understand/express my emotions well though. If someone asks me a definitive question, I can answer it fine. However, if someone asks me an opinionated question, or I try and explain how I feel about something, or why I feel the way I do I draw a blank. I try my hardest, but it's like the words just aren't there and I just freeze up and can't explain it.

I think that just about covers everything, I can't think of anything more off the top of my head, but there probably are some other things. The woman I saw today said she didn't feel I had AS because I expressed myself very well, and I think I do do quite a good job of explaining my troubles as listed above. But I don't feel explaining something like this pertains to anything of how I am in a social environment. Adding to that the fact she completely disregarded a lot of my points, and only looked into the social side of things which is where she reached her conclusion of social anxiety. Obviously, as you said, AS encompasses much more than just the social issues.

Anyway, I think that's just about detailed enough! :)