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How to ask for help and support?

Starbuck
over 5 years ago

I am going through a rough time at the moment, but one of my biggest flaws is that I cannot ask for help or support, or even communicate what is going on.

Today I went to my GP as a last resort as I have been feeling suicidal and struggling with life in general.  Due to the ways I express myself (flat, non-expressive) I think a lot of people fail to realise how serious things really are and this is compiled with me not being able to communicate the severity properly either.

I need the support from other people, but my previous experience of this from my family wasn't great, if anything I was left feeling a bit of a nut case and a burden.

I need to tell my partner what is going on without feeling judge or a let down (this is from experience), but I just can't.  To make things worse he always asks me about how I feel, when as I have expressed in other posts, I'm pretty certain I have Alexithymia, so I don't know what I am feeling.  The best I can explain is good, neutral or bad, which doesn't help anyone.

I am seriously considering handing in my notice in at my job tomorrow, but I don't know if this is the overwhelmed depressed me taking action, or the sensible logical me that is seeing the light at the end of the tunnel - either way I need support and guidance to help steer me.

Parents
  • over 5 years ago

    I can relate to what you say as I also really struggle to communicate, and also believe I have alexithymia. I have come to realize I have a processing delay between actually recognizing I am struggling and need help, then a further one of realizing I need help and actually getting around to/plucking up the courage to ask for it. I have improved slightly over the last year though, from I reckon about 6 weeks for that whole process to happen last Autumn to more like a few days now.

    I have few people I can talk to, or know about my diagnosis. As I write this I can hear my parents downstairs...we live in the same house but I couldn't tell you the last time I actually talked to them about anything of importance. They do not know about my diagnosis, not any of my thoughts/feelings or the struggles I have been going through. We just talk about the weather instead!

    I do know I find it much easier to communicate in writing than face to face....maybe you could write down your thoughts and give it to your partner, let them have time to read it, then talk? Would that help?

Reply
  • over 5 years ago

    I can relate to what you say as I also really struggle to communicate, and also believe I have alexithymia. I have come to realize I have a processing delay between actually recognizing I am struggling and need help, then a further one of realizing I need help and actually getting around to/plucking up the courage to ask for it. I have improved slightly over the last year though, from I reckon about 6 weeks for that whole process to happen last Autumn to more like a few days now.

    I have few people I can talk to, or know about my diagnosis. As I write this I can hear my parents downstairs...we live in the same house but I couldn't tell you the last time I actually talked to them about anything of importance. They do not know about my diagnosis, not any of my thoughts/feelings or the struggles I have been going through. We just talk about the weather instead!

    I do know I find it much easier to communicate in writing than face to face....maybe you could write down your thoughts and give it to your partner, let them have time to read it, then talk? Would that help?

Children
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