Skip to main content
Close Button
Donate
  • Replies 67 replies
  • Subscribers 41 subscribers
  • Views 22409 views
  • Users 0 members are here
Options
Related
Hints and tips
  • To quote someone's message, first select/highlight the relevant text, and then use the Quote button that appears
  • To "mention" someone, type @ followed by the start of the forum name, and choose from the list; that person will get a notification of being mentioned

About the "How are you?" question

California
over 5 years ago

What do you think about the "How are you?" question?

I, personally, do not like this question and I have never liked it.

I do not know what to answer.

Also, a lot of the time, I think it is expected just to give a positive answer, but I often feel awful to say "Fine!" simply to be polite if I am not fine. 

Parents
  • over 5 years ago

    What would you make of the following exchange, between me and a neurotypical friend of 20+ years?

    Friend: How are you?

    Me: A bit tired.
    [this is my code to acknowledge that I've been very depressed for several days, missed a lot of sleep, and apologise in advance if I nod off during the film we're about to see. I don't expect sympathy, I just want to give an honest answer and get on to the next bit of the conversation. But before I can ask the question back:]

    Friend: Yes, I know, the weather's been terrible.

    I'm then confused by what seems like a complete non sequitur (unless the weather's been keeping people up - it hasn't been that bad).  It's not like we don't talk about personal stuff, although I feel like I do far more listening about her work and relationship problems and probably any discussion of mental health is off-limits.

    I'm wondering about another poll about why we don't like being asked 'How are you?'  Something like:

Reply
  • over 5 years ago

    What would you make of the following exchange, between me and a neurotypical friend of 20+ years?

    Friend: How are you?

    Me: A bit tired.
    [this is my code to acknowledge that I've been very depressed for several days, missed a lot of sleep, and apologise in advance if I nod off during the film we're about to see. I don't expect sympathy, I just want to give an honest answer and get on to the next bit of the conversation. But before I can ask the question back:]

    Friend: Yes, I know, the weather's been terrible.

    I'm then confused by what seems like a complete non sequitur (unless the weather's been keeping people up - it hasn't been that bad).  It's not like we don't talk about personal stuff, although I feel like I do far more listening about her work and relationship problems and probably any discussion of mental health is off-limits.

    I'm wondering about another poll about why we don't like being asked 'How are you?'  Something like:

Children
No Data