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Suicide and self harm...

Dexter

Although I am frightened of dying, when the thoughts of suicide come, they can feel quite nice. To sort of get away from this madness we call life. The self harm, I do on a regular basis, and the sight of the blood running down my arm , the feel of it dripping/sliding is wonderful. I like it when it hurts cos that means I am punishing myself. However frightening death is to me, if I died right now no one would notice, and when they did they'd have a party.

Parents

  • I self harm and have made several attempts (including a number of hospital admissions). Self harm for me is a coping mechanism that staves off more drastic thoughts and is something that my cpn understands and though doesn't encourage, doesn't condemn it either.. I get the aspect of 'punishing ones self' and with respect to being frightend of death, I'd just recommend being aware of si safely (knowing where not to harm as well as deepness) and cleaning afterwards to prevent infection.

  • in reply to ToeJam

    This is what I don't understand.  Self harming and cleaning to prevent infection  !!!!

    I understand suicide, but not self harm !

  • in reply to Robert124

    Guess everybody does things someone else doesn't understand - doesn't mean that it's necessarily wrong or mad or disgusting or useless or a way of attention seeking, or, or... Not saying that you have suggested any of those but lots of people do and it's not exactly helping anyone. Guess unless you wanted to hurt yourself anyway you will not want to do it from watching someone else, quite the opposite. Whether you can understand it or not, it will always be hard to see others doing that, or even just the evidence of it, especially when it looks quite recent. If you understand it because of own experience then those signs of someone apparently not doing particularly well are perhaps even more shocking because you know what it's like (well, sort of, given that there can be lots of reasons).

  • in reply to .

    Thanks for asking.

    My communication skills have improved over the years but depression is still there and I have got used to isolation and lack of social interaction with 'normal' people.

    I don't intend to self harm.  But if things get much worse suicide is an option as a last straw.

    My mental health team have provided me with at least half a dozen phones numbers and websites of contacts.  If i need help.

  • in reply to oktanol

    Your further elaboration I can very much relate to, especially in terms of social blunders and the like.

  • in reply to .

    I wholly agree, I find reading this thread enlightening and increadibly distressing. Wishing comfort to all who may be reading and needing it.

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