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Struggling

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I'm really struggling with life at the moment. I've basically shut myself off from the world for the past 10 years and now I'm trying to build a life for myself but I'm finding it all overwhelming. I find myself wanting to shut myself away again. I want to have friends and a partner and a job, but now that I'm on the road to obtaining those things I feel terrified. I felt lonely and like I had no future before, but I'm finding building this future for myself to be stressful beyond belief, which is making me depressed. Has anyone else here struggled through these things? It seems as soon as someone gets close to being a friend/partner I get terrified and want to hide. Life feels like such a struggle. Will it always be like this?

  • Former Member
    Former Member in reply to Spotty Tortoise

    I have had a shell day too. New start tomorrow 

  • in reply to .

    You are right Ellie, guilt is utterly unhelpful, I will put it in the bin right now. ()()() back at you.

  • in reply to Spotty Tortoise

    () () () hugging you back! Shell days are fine! No guilt lovely x

  • There is much wisdom above about being kind to ourselves, I feel like bravery has deserted me today, it's  been a shell day. I'm so relieved that your car is ok Tom,  used to have a Renault 11 that overheated, its very dull. () to all.

  • Former Member
    Former Member

    Hello Rainboweyes. I was beginning to think I was the only one feeling like this. It's brave of you to post this. A lot has happened in the last few years for me and I have slowly but gradually closed down. I don't have a job or a partner and my friends are few. But yes I am lucky to have a couple of good ones but mostly they live away from here and don't see them. I have recently re referred myself back to social services. I am very anxious about this because my last experience with them was not positive but I know I need help and that is the way to maybe get some.And I was just thinking about posting about that subject when I read your post.  I do feel ashamed that I am not managing to the degree I have asked for help. And I know participating with a hobby or charity or sport is what we are supposed to do but as much as I have researched and looked into things I might enjoy I have been unable to make myself go. Along with that is the fear of trying again and getting it wrong again and not managing again and letting other people and myself down again. So I look at the people on here who are working with a mixture or admiration, envy and guilt because I think I should be doing that. I actually made it over to see my aunt and uncle and Cousin and family yesterday. They had a baby over a year ago.. I have been trying to encourage myself to visit since before the baby was born. So I am considering that a plus. The challenge all 3 friend, job and partner all at once is maybe too much all together.. I know life doesn't come to order but maybe just focus on one of those at a time might feel less daunting? ( says she who can't either). As Tom says it is good news that you are making your way to rebuilding your life so I wish you very good and heartfelt luck with that. 

  • in reply to .

    P.s The positive achievement I want you to hold onto today is that you have started this topic.....that IS a big step! Heart

  • Yes, I have struggled with these things too! I encountered a big particularly big slump about three years ago which involved quite a major shutdown. You seem to be putting a lot of pressure on yourself - so try to be kinder - the three things you are hoping for, friends, partner, a job will come in time...try to take it one step at a time. Think of ways that you can make friends, for example. This site for me has been a great way to meet likeminded people and get more confident about opening up - do you think that this might help? 

    You have built yourself a mountain to climb...,try starting with the small molehills first.

    best wishes

    Ellie x