Struggling

Hello Rainboweyes. I was beginning to think I was the only one feeling like this. It's brave of you to post this. A lot has happened in the last few years for me and I have slowly but gradually closed down. I don't have a job or a partner and my friends are few. But yes I am lucky to have a couple of good ones but mostly they live away from here and don't see them. I have recently re referred myself back to social services. I am very anxious about this because my last experience with them was not positive but I know I need help and that is the way to maybe get some.And I was just thinking about posting about that subject when I read your post.  I do feel ashamed that I am not managing to the degree I have asked for help. And I know participating with a hobby or charity or sport is what we are supposed to do but as much as I have researched and looked into things I might enjoy I have been unable to make myself go. Along with that is the fear of trying again and getting it wrong again and not managing again and letting other people and myself down again. So I look at the people on here who are working with a mixture or admiration, envy and guilt because I think I should be doing that. I actually made it over to see my aunt and uncle and Cousin and family yesterday. They had a baby over a year ago.. I have been trying to encourage myself to visit since before the baby was born. So I am considering that a plus. The challenge all 3 friend, job and partner all at once is maybe too much all together.. I know life doesn't come to order but maybe just focus on one of those at a time might feel less daunting? ( says she who can't either). As Tom says it is good news that you are making your way to rebuilding your life so I wish you very good and heartfelt luck with that. 

Hello Rainboweyes. I was beginning to think I was the only one feeling like this. It's brave of you to post this. A lot has happened in the last few years for me and I have slowly but gradually closed down. I don't have a job or a partner and my friends are few. But yes I am lucky to have a couple of good ones but mostly they live away from here and don't see them. I have recently re referred myself back to social services. I am very anxious about this because my last experience with them was not positive but I know I need help and that is the way to maybe get some.And I was just thinking about posting about that subject when I read your post.  I do feel ashamed that I am not managing to the degree I have asked for help. And I know participating with a hobby or charity or sport is what we are supposed to do but as much as I have researched and looked into things I might enjoy I have been unable to make myself go. Along with that is the fear of trying again and getting it wrong again and not managing again and letting other people and myself down again. So I look at the people on here who are working with a mixture or admiration, envy and guilt because I think I should be doing that. I actually made it over to see my aunt and uncle and Cousin and family yesterday. They had a baby over a year ago.. I have been trying to encourage myself to visit since before the baby was born. So I am considering that a plus. The challenge all 3 friend, job and partner all at once is maybe too much all together.. I know life doesn't come to order but maybe just focus on one of those at a time might feel less daunting? ( says she who can't either). As Tom says it is good news that you are making your way to rebuilding your life so I wish you very good and heartfelt luck with that.