Published on 12, July, 2020
How do you make a decision?
It seems like a simple question, but I have spent my entire life not knowing how.
If I am asked "what would you like to do today?" I always respond with "I don't mind."
This has caused people to get annoyed with me at times as they always seem to decide for me and I get frustrated at nott being able to make a choice.
It is like my brain becomes a fog of possibilities, both realistic and ridiculous, and I find it almost impossible to focus on any one of them.
It is especially difficult if I have to make a decision when I am on my own and have no one to bounce an idea off as I will over analyse to the point that I end up either doing nothing or making a poor decision because I have talked myself out of the sensible choice. Sometimes I am even aware that I might be making a mistake but carry on regardless, as it feels almost like a compulsion.
So, does anyone have any useful strategies to help them make decisions and to make the "what would you like to do?" question not feel like it has no answer.
Decisions can be difficult. For me, the fact that there can be more than one right answer is what leads to the fog. "Go swimming" and "See a movie" are both right answers, but which one am I supposed to be doing this weekend?
Lists help me. I would write a list of all the things that interest me that I would like to do, then you can just pick the top one off the list next time someone asks, then cross it off when you've done it. This will help you prepare in advance for the inevitable question.
Also, throwing the choice back for the final stage can help. One time my wife wanted me to buy a radio. I went online, managed to whittle the different models down to 2 based on the features I wanted, but I couldn't make that final decision, it was just too hard. So I gave the decision back to her to make - "out of these two which would you like?".
You could pick 2 random activities then ask them out of these two which they'd prefer to do this weekend. It stops you having to do all the choosing, shows you made an effort and are involved in the decision, and makes you seem thoughtful of their feelings :)
Just found this thread. Yes yes yes. I never would have thought this a connection but decision making and change are as you have all said above. It's a miracle that I have got the plastering done and now getting decorated. Now I wonder why I waited so long. However the other things balancing against that decision are still waiting but can't have everything at once. So pleased you mentioned this topic. Without such descriptions I end up thinking it's just me unable to do things.