How do you feel?

I'm curious about how other people with ASD experience 'feelings'? I'm frustrated that quite often I feel 'numb', like I can't experience happiness or sadness, but then when I DO feel it's so intense that it's overwhelming. Does anyone else experience emotion like this? How do you deal with feeling detached?

  • I can often hide being emotionally detached from people, though my close family do spot it.

    I have a real problem with animals. I have no feeling of love for any animal. As a child I never had pets, but as an adult with a family we have had pets for the children (And as a sort of secret experiment for myself) but I cannot feel anything towards them. I often feel like I must be a cold / cruel person, though I know this is not the case. I can be like it with people, though not to the same extent as animals.

    When pets have died I have watched my children being hugely upset. We have had pet rats and rabbits, and my partners parents and my dad have dogs, and they have all spotted I do not interact with them on the same level as my children do

    (I should say my 4 year old is also ASD, and he does interact with animals, but it is more in a following them about rather than caring for them way)

    The odd thing is that all my family (Parents split up in differemt places, Sister in America and Brother on his own) all phone me up and use me as their councilor. I do not know if its because I do not have the same emotion, so I am passive and neutral, or that I just don't ever judge them for talking. I find when I am having issues I do not want to speak to any of them, as I know all of their problems and dont want to add to them.

    I also find I feel guilty for almost everything. If my partner asks if I ate the last bag of crisps I will go bright red and feel guilty, even though it was not me. I know I wouldnt be a good liar because I can't even tell the truth without looking like I was caught out in a huge lie.

    And once in a while I will find I am crying, with no apparent stimulus or emotion going along with it. That can be strange when it happens when I am at work building formulae into a spreadsheet!

  • Sometimes like I am inside s bubble...and everything outside is muffled and numb...other times hyper-sensitive and over receptive and if that is the case I either hide myself away...as I don't know when or to whom I might crumple....or watch an over sentimental film or listen to a piece of music to get the tears out and try to re-balance my system....

    i think both subconsciously and conscientiously I try to guard and manage my experiences to help manage my emotions....however sometimes I am drawn to others who are emotional...which is where the empathic bit kicks in...and that can be impactful in both good ways (a glimmer of connection)... or just plain painful

    phew!