'Mild' Asperger syndrome

Yes, Ferret is exactly right and I am exactly wrong! Sorry, my mistake, mixing up the threads.

Apologies to all concerned.

@ Ferret

Thanks for you wise words.....much appreciated :-)

NAS9920 said:

managed environment where you work but that your wife has a personality type that you struggle with."<---bit of a mix up with another convo thread on a separate op, no?. caleb didn't say he had a problem with his wife and their relationship.... 

i hope...

@ Ferrret - Correct :-)

@recombinantsocks........my wife is one of the few people that is completly in tune with me. She is very much of the opinion that 'you are who you are' and being labeled won't change that. She only has concerns of how it may be viewed by a future employer, should I progress to the next stage of my career. 

Caleb1981 said:

The biggest problem I have is background noise, if I am trying to concentrate or talk with someone, the background noise drives me insane.

This is also one of my main problems (my partner likes to have the radio on a lot!) but in my case I found that my hearing was a factor that compounded the autism element.  Both regular removal of wax and adoption of hearing aids have helped me more than the Asperger diagnosis in this respect.  I only mention it in case you haven't already had your hearing checked.  Sometimes problems arising from autism have to be considered in relation, or addition, to physical factors.

On a more general level, while I found my Asperger diagnosis helpful in terms of explaining the past, there has been little relevant support resulting from it.  If you need assistance with practical issues like employment, education or benefits, there may be lots of support available (though it appears to vary regionally).  But otherwise the 1:1 "talking therapy" sessions, every month or two, are of limited value to me and were mainly useful just to help me adjust to the diagnosis.  There was however quite a long wait between the diagnosis and the first 1:1 session - the period when I was most in need of support.

Caleb1981 said:

As far as I know, possibly being autistic has no impact on my work or working relationships - I could be wrong though. Not sure how my employer would see it.

Working relationships are often impacted by autism. But, you may be lucky and it has not been an issue for you. It is possible that you can manage relationships in the relatively controlled and managed environment where you work but that your wife has a personality type that you struggle with. That doesn't make it her fault or your fault, it may be that you just haven't really worked out how to understand each other.

Thanks @ recombinantsocks.

Getting a diagnosis is to get support (See above post) and to prove myself right (Hate being wrong - lol).

I would ideally like to see life beyond diagnosis, before I get one!

The medical record comment came from my wife, she's just worried it impacts my future career choices - I have a fairly responsible job in the oil & gas industry and I would have to disclose it during my routine medicals. As far as I know, possibly being autistic has no impact on my work or working relationships - I could be wrong though. Not sure how my employer would see it.

Thanks @ oktanol, I see a lot of similarities between me and the people posting on here.

My reasoning for getting a diagnosis, would be to allow me to get some kind of support - if indeed it exists. I really really struggle at maintaining friendships - they just appear to fizzle out. The More I know a person; the harder I find it for some strange reason!

I guess I fear that I go through the process, get told that I am autistic and then nothing changes.

People's reaction to having a diagnosis is very variable. A number of people are liberated by it and another set of people feel oppressed because of it. Your mileage may vary as they say. It partly depends on whose idea it is. At Oktanol says, it was not their idea so there was resistance. I, however, went to confirm my suspicions. I suspect that the rigidity of thought of someone with autism may have something to do with the reaction. If change is imposed on you then you may push back, if it was your idea however you will treat in in a different light altogether.

Medical records are confidential but you may be offered a job that depends on the employer having access. If you want to join the forces then you definitely wouldn't want it on your records but equally I think that you might want to think very hard about whether a job in the forces would suit someone with autism. There are exceptions to this and it is possible to enjpoy a career in the forces with autism but I suspect that most would find it a bad experience. An employer is not allowed to discriminate based on a diagnosis of autism but equally, similar to the forces issues, they may identify that you are unsuitable for a role because of your autism. They will have to ve very careful about this as they will be very wary of beiong seen to discriminate against an employee with autism. They are obliged to make reasonable adjustments but it is not possible to make an unsuitable job into a suitable job with reasonable adjustments.

Hi Cal,

You don't have to have this on your medical record. If you don't want the people that do the assessment to send the diagnosis letter to your GP (who referred you) then they won't do it, they will only confirm to them that you have had the assessment. And the severly disabled stuff is a bit rubbish really, you'd think spring watch has at least done that for us.

I don't find a diagnosis helpful so far, rather the opposite really, but then I went there because a counsellor had suggested it and I wanted to be told that she was wrong, so guess that doesn't apply to you. If you want an explanation why things have gone wrong or something then it might be useful, but don't expect that there is much help you would be able to access if you had a diagnosis.

Do you feel you have something in common with people posting here? What recombinantsocks says: "There is a saying "when you have met a person then you have just met one person with autism" it is very hard for people to see the similarities between people with autism, we are all different and different from each other in more ways than we are similar to each other. We all share the root issues of social communication and the consequences that that brings." is certainly true, but the similarities are somehow rather striking (as I figured out after reading through this forum a bit, mainly in an attempt to convince myself that the psychologist had also got it wrong...).

Thanks to everyone for their comments, I am fairly confident that I have ASD based on the AQ tests that I have taken at various times over the last couple of years - I typically score 36 - 42 in these tests. I really struggle socially, something I have learned mask over the years. The biggest problem I have is background noise, if I am trying to concentrate or talk with someone, the background noise drives me insane.

I haven't been to discuss getting a formal diagnosis yet, I'm still thinking about that one. The reaction from some people has put me off - "there is nothing wrong with you", " you don't want that on your medical records", "people with autism are severely disabled, and you are not", etc. etc - not really very supportive and based on poor knowledge. 

Was getting a diagnosis beneficial to anyone here? Did it allow access to some form of support?

Thanks again,

Cal

I think the degree of severity (or mildness) perceived by oneself, or others, will always depend on various factors, such as how it affects the type of activities you typically do, how much you've learned to cope with - or even mask - it, interaction with any co-morbidities and possibly your age. 

In my case, I'm far more socially confident in my mid-fifties than I was as a young man.  I still generally choose to avoid socialising, but I can literally go for a week in total isolation then meet someone new for several hours without any apparent difficulty.  That's largely because I no longer really care what anyone thinks or says about me.  Yet I find travelling and visiting busy places far more stressful than I did 30 years ago; a day out in London, which was once a pleasure, is now a nightmare for me.

There seems to be no consensus on labelling.  My written diagnosis, late last year, specifically states I have Asperger's Syndrome.  Yet on the post-diagnostic course, run by the same unit, "autism" seemed to be preferred by the facilitators.  One of them admitted even he was confused by the terminology.

Although I am still waiting for the official written report, I was recently diagnosed with 'Autistic Spectrum Disorder' in my mid fifties.

I don't appear to be on the spectrum to most people either, so when I do get the report I will be intrigued to read the diagnostic criteria used in my case. I was told that the World Health Organisation are dropping the term 'Aspergers' in order to emphasise that it refers to someone who is just at the upper end of the spectrum.

For the last few years I have been suffering quite badly from depression, & it was a therapist that recommended I was assessed for ASD, as my reaction to traditional forms of therapy seemed far too rigid & analytical. I've always known I was eccentric & an outsider, but it wasn't until I had therapy that I realised that my internal landscape really was quite fundamentally different to everyone else.

For me personally, one of the most confusing aspects of 'Mild/High Functioning/etc' ASD is that you don't necessarily have to have problems with non-verbal communication (body language etc), since it is possible to compensate for innate difficulties analytically. When I have discussed this issue, the analogy I always use is 'Analogue vs Digital'.

If the inbuilt ability to understand non-verbal communication is 'Analogue' & for people on the spectrum this is impaired, then it is also possible to learn to compensate using our enhanced analytical skills, i.e 'Digitally'. I often find myself a bit over sensitive to non-verbal communication, but I can't remember ever having consciously taught myself to do this. During therapy though, I became much more aware that the way I notice these things is quite mechanical, with a voice in my head breaking things down into analytical components. I was very badly bullied throughout my school life, so I suppose it might have been a survival issue, but as a child I also watched huge amounts of television, so maybe I learned through the exaggerated performances of TV actors, who knows.

I suppose the conclusion to all my rambling is that the diagnostic criteria for being on the spectrum aren't solely concerned with symptomatic social problems, and the differences in the way your mind works are just as important.

I hope some of this helps

Asperger syndrome is a spectrum disorder so it affects different people differently. At the root of it, however, is a common issue in failing to understand other people as well as normal people understand each other. You either have a problem with that or you don't so although it is a spectrum disorder there is a degree of you either having it or you don't. Asperger's is just a subdivision of autism so if you have Asperger's then you really have autism.

There is a free and fairly reliable test at aspergerstest.net/.../ If you do that and then post the result back here then that might help this discussion.

The people on this forum have various shades of problems from those who can see that they have autistic traits, through those that have a diagnosis but appear normal to most people through to those who are severely disabled and are very obviously affected. Many people get a diagnosis because they run into mental health issues because of the difficulties that the underlying poor social communication causes. It is quite common to arrive at a diagnosis through self diagnosis but it is also common for people to be oblivious to their differences.

There is also a big difference in the ability of people to cope with their autism. This depends on a lot of factors, some of them down to an individuals nature and some down to the nurture that they have received from the rest of society.

There is a saying "when you have met a person then you have just met one person with autism" it is very hard for people to see the similarities between people with autism, we are all different and different from each other in more ways than we are similar to each other. We all share the root issues of social communication and the consequences that that brings.