fairly new relationship

hi 

im in a fairly new and loving relationship with a long term friend who has recently been diagnosed with AS. the problem is that i have a daughter (19 months) to my last partner  and this adds a lot of stress to the relationship we get very little time together (alone) and he refers to her as my 'kid' and rairly uses her name, he has no understanding of why this hurts me. he will also prefer to stay at his house when i have my daughter and not see me at all as he feels i spend to much time with her. i just dont know how to put all this to him without him getting agitated he feels i just dont understand where he is coming from. please help