Scared

I'm 51 and after a brief interview with an A&E pyschologist (referred for suicidal thoughts) his line of questioning and mention of autism made me understand the pattern of my life. I've scored very high on two online autism tests. I know these aren't realiable but how do I push for a professional diagnosis?

I've got through life so far by luck - one civil service "job for life" and then made redundant. Everyone has always said I'm intelligent but I only think about applying for unskilled jobs because I cant face interviews. I have only managed to avoid homelessness because of the kindness of other people. I cannot plan for the future and fear my luck has run out.

I've been hit by a massive panic attack & depression and can't see any way of functioning like a normal person.

  • This is deffinatly a good thing, is helped me. for example., from using a mirror I realised that when I thought I was smiling I wasent!

  • Hi Greenblade, just wanted to say hello and your not alone! I too have tried suicide (tywice) both times just chucked on tablets so i didnt know what day it was. Its only now after my GP mentioned I think I was having meltdowns both times. I was banging my head on a wall and wanted everything to stop, I couldnt think properly. I was so overwhelmed.

    It gets better. Sadly where I live, apparently theres no diagnostic services for adults. So I have to save up and go private.

    Lots of nice people on here so far though

  • Greenblade, maybe you could be pro-active and set up your DIY interview practice sessions using a mirror to observe your body language. It requires an effort, but anything worthwhile in life does. It's like most things, i.e. the more you practice them, the more comfortable they become. Think of it as rehearsing something before a performance like actors do.

  • I do not have autism, but I have struggled immensely at times with depression and still to this day with anxiety. I know the feeling that your luck has run out and you are spiraling out of control emotionally and mentally and you are on your own.

    Can I say on a personal note: Jesus is with you and he cares for you.

    My advice would be to PRAY. Talk to God about your problems first, ask for his help and He will help you. THEN...go to your doctor and tell them everything. Be frank with them about how you are feeling and explain what your everyday life is like.

    I am so sorry you are going through this. I am saying a prayer for you tonight whoever you are. :) NEVER GIVE UP!!! One day at a time and sometimes, one moment at a time.

  • Thanks for the replies. I have opportunities to pursue it with both my GP and the A&E follow-up consultant. I hope the hospital pyschiatrist who initially assessed me and mentioned autism put something about it in his notes.

    I know I can appear normal in many situations but a flood of memories about comments other people have made about me and things I have done (or not done) now make me think "This explains a lot". There is some relief in knowing this but I still can't see a way forward in ordinary life situations 

  • Waiting times after GP referral seem to vary regionally - I was fortunate enough to receive a completed NHS diagnosis only three months after the initial GP referral to the local autism unit (BASS).  I don't know whether it's a "first come, first served" system or if other factors are considered.

    To Greenblade I'd say that when approaching the GP you should emphasise how much the likely autism and secondary mood disorders (depression etc.) are negatively affecting your life, and therefore how much you'd benefit from a diagnosis.  What did take a long time (about ten years) for me was finding a GP who took me seriously about my Asperger's.  I'm a similar age (55) and many GPs - even, initially, the one who referred me - find it hard to believe someone could reach middle-age with undiagnosed Asperger's, or they think it's too late to bother. 

  • Hi Random, and Greenblade,

                                              As far as pushing for a professional diagnosis goes, you could ask for an Adult Asperger information pack via the autismhelpline@nas.org.uk - which will give you pretty much all you need to know really. One dilemma though is that NHS funding for Adult ASD diagnosis is minimal, and waiting times can be long - about a year or more.

  • Hi Greenblade,

    Its very brave of you to make this step, I am 50 and was diagnosed last year. I think the usual procedure is to speak to your GP and request a diagnosis (I didn't do mine the usual route). A letter from A&E psychologist, or mention this to your doctor. Also the results of the online tests.

    I am Scared too with my current situation, I suffer from depression and anxiety. Not sure what to say. I have just been rejected from an Interview, thats with a company I already work for, and have been sucessful at my job.

    Please keep checking back on this forum, I found it to be a great help going through my diagnosis.

    Random