Really struggling with cleaning/ household tasks

I often think I need an autistic neighbour, I would pop in and clean their house and they would do mine.

There's something about being able to enter and leave.. And be objective and unemotional about what I'm cleaning.. that I can't apply to my own home. 

Thanks for reminding me to put the bins out, LOL! Yes never like a big list, one small step at a time.

Hmm, yes; I have rather a problem with this myself - I find it hard enough to keep my person clean and tidy, never mind my home.

As suggested in the OP, it's certainly an attentional problem at some level. The people who I share my computer programs with always comment on how meticulously neat and tidy they are - I wouldn't dream of uploading something with graphics that look skewed by so much as one pixel, or lining up all of the "=" signs in the code. I was once nicknamed "Midas" by a supervisor because I could never resist "gold-plating" everything, and writing a couple of paragraphs for a forum post can  take me an hour or two sometimes, by the time I've obsessed about every single word (or rather, I write fifty paragraphs, then struggle to edit down - hence my rather TL;DR posts quite often).

Meanwhile, I could have a bag of rubbish that needs putting out in the middle of the kitchen floor that I'll step around for weeks, apparently not conscious of the inconvenience or even the existence of the thing (until  I trip over it and it bursts, followed by the inevitable melt-down!). If archaeologists carefully chipped away at the brown encrustation sat next to my computer, I might rediscover what made my favourite coffee mug so appealing!

Lists don't work for me at all; they just end up becoming a focus for procrastination, and I have really bad completion anxiety, so I don't feel like I can start until I have a detailed plan for acheiving everything on the list - and I'm never satisfied with the plan, so I just tinker with it until I give up because the list is just a mess of arrows and crossings-out.

Favours required by other people are never anything like such a problem as self-directed tasks - I'll happily visit a friend to have a go at fixing their washing machine even when mine's been broken for months (there's never a "round tuit" in my toolbox!) It removes the element of "deciding", which is far more of a problem for me than the "doing". I've been noticeably better since I moved into a bedsit with the landlady living downstairs; I even do all the hoovering because she has a disability which prevents her from doing it herself.

Something that I have found works quite well is to make use of the ubiquitous camera-phone. Rather than writing lists, I take a picture of the offending mess, and put it up on my PC somewhere that I'm bound to notice it (the desktop background even). Besides the reminder, it really helps me to feel like I've achieved something if I can directly compare before and after - it makes what I've done seem more "real" somehow, even if the "after" is still not as tidy as I would really like.

I also use my PC's calendar a lot, too. For example; I get a notification every Thursday that it's bin-day tomorrow, and try not to let mysef dismiss it until I've completed the task. Rather than a long list, I get presented with just one thing to do right now, which is much less overwhelming. The "do anything rather than nothing" tactic can work quite well too, sometimes - if I find myself procrastinating about which task to do out of a list, I'll choose one completely at random to take away the decision making part of the problem (I have a little computer script that I often use, but dice or pointing without looking would do just as well, I guess).

The most frustrating part, I find, is that I just don't seem able to describe this problem to anyone in a way that they'll understand. Social services etc. just don't get why I need help with it; the usual response is to suggest that I'm depressed, or at most, to offer remedial lessons in the practicalities of how to clean things. You would think that with more awareness of ADHD, Alzheimer's, etc. these days that they wouldn't be quite so clueless.

I totally get your problem. I work from home a lot and my wife is always giving me grief for not doing the house work. She says I leave it because I think she will do it but I don't. I simply don't look at it because today I am doing something else. Each morning before I get up I make sure I give myself a manageable task for each day. Like today I am painting some cupboards, yesterday I did the hoovering. . We did have a cleaner for about 6 months and it was great, can't afford it now though. I would just take things one small job at a time and in a month you will have made a great deal of diffrence.

Hello,

yes too. I've always berated myself for never being interested in cleaningor home improvement. Now I know since diagnosis, I put it down to a task that that is just not on my list- too interested in other things to do. Now that I can see why. Cleaning is an anxiety thing- it gets too much.

I tried cleaning once - the dirt came back.    I leant my lesson. 

I really enjoy coming here because i can totally relate to you all. For the first time i feel i'm not alone.

I could have written this myself. My flat is a mess, i can understand quantum science but i can't keep a house cleaned. My fridge is a nightmare... at home i just don't know what is supposed to do.

I really believe that autistic adults need formal tutors to help us in household.

Anyway, here are my fragile strategies:

saturday

1st - clean the toilet - 20 minutes

2nd - clean the hall - 15 minutes

3rd - clean my bedroom - 1 h

4th - clean the kitchen - 2h30 min

sunday

1st - clean the living room - 1h

2nd - clean my desk - never  ending job

I can't do this every weekends, sometimes can only do this twice a month. My flat is never cleaned and i feel ashamed of having visitors because of that, which is not quite an issue for me, as i have no friends and no relation with any relatives, whatsoever.

We really need formal care in this area but do you believe that NT will ever help us in our homes?

I did try one.. I planned to have ''one productive hour' instead of aiming to finish something, and in the end I achieved both those. Baby steps, but I shall be doing it again this week. 

I’ll be saving these tips too! 

Hello, I really get this. I have inertia too. Do you see an autism psychologist of any sort? Inertia around starting and stopping tasks is a real problem, but when I got my diagnosis they said they can help with this.  If you are lucky enough to get the support of a psychologist or similar, maybe mention it. It's not just housework, it's an impairment in life that can lead to bigger problems.

Do take care with yourself. I will also try the tips suggested by Maia. 

Hi l was only diagnosed at 47 takes time to get your head around autism but a relief l can empersize with you on house cleaning it’s hard exspecially when you husband has a disability of not caring but your autism likes Organization