Published on 12, July, 2020
I have just had a diagnosis of apsergers (with a fair amount of adhd traits too) at 38. I have a long history of depression and anxety. I am struggling most with executive functioning and it is the adhd traits that seem to be causing my the most problems at the moment. I have struggled for so long with keeping my house clean and uncluttered. My house is full of clutter and I am a huge procrastinator, have very low motivation and even if I do actually manage to do some housework I get distracted or can't seem to do it for long. I get over whelmed by everything that needs to be done but also seem to have an issue with just doing a little bit at a time.
I have been criticised by my husband and my parents for so long as they just couldn't understand why I found it all so difficult. I wish I could employ a cleaner and someone to help me organise things but I don't have the money.
Any adivce woulde be much appreciated. I was only diagnosed last week and am still getting my head around it all.
I’ll be saving these tips too!
Hello, I really get this. I have inertia too. Do you see an autism psychologist of any sort? Inertia around starting and stopping tasks is a real problem, but when I got my diagnosis they said they can help with this. If you are lucky enough to get the support of a psychologist or similar, maybe mention it. It's not just housework, it's an impairment in life that can lead to bigger problems.
Do take care with yourself. I will also try the tips suggested by Maia.
Hi l was only diagnosed at 47 takes time to get your head around autism but a relief l can empersize with you on house cleaning it’s hard exspecially when you husband has a disability of not caring but your autism likes Organization
watching 'decluttering' and motivational youtube videos or reading those type of books can sometimes get you in the mood for a while
never get attached emotionally to stuff and don't sort it or analyse it, throw it out without thinking about it, if you see what i mean: start sorting and ocd, regret, etc take over
go fast, really fast, rush it: typical procrastinator dawdles, takes an hour to do ten minutes, then procrastinates worse next time remembering how long it takes
do a bad job: just do it, don't try to do 'a perfect' job
some people can do it if they 'reward themselves with a multitask', in the memorable phrase of one youtuber: listen to radio 4 or whatever
are you task-focused or time-focused? 'i can stop when it's clean' vs. 'i can stop after half an hour'? Probably task-focused. Focus on a fifteen-minute sprint, and go very fast about it
do the easiest most obvious things first: by the time they're done, the rest is a lot easier because more obvious
try doing it by the square foot: i invented this method! If your bedroom is six foot square, pick two square feet and empty them. Works well for floorspace, bedspace etc.
Pick one surface that's really irritating you, eg the hall table, and do it, finish it. Advantage here is huge feeling of achievement
Try the book "Getting Things Done" by David Allen, it won't cure you but it's the best one i've read. Usually to be found in charity shops and libraries, but easily bought cheap online. I don't care for almost any self-help books except as a brief pick-up, honest. He has a sort of method which really motivated me for a while
brother's method is described by him as 'never allow yourself to have another thought until you've done what you're thinking about' this is quite hard to do but very effective when you manage it. Another version is you can't sit down until you've done it
in terms of clutter, if you're not emotionally attached to it it's usually easy enough, and you don't mention this problem; if you are, help... Either way, can you find a buddy/bully to argue with you? I used to have a friend who kept all letters addressed to her house (as opposed to her, eg all junk mail) and all old newspapers (and all old books and craft supplies) and i vowed to end the junkmail/papers habit and pretty much succeeded. The hardest part was teaching her the difference between vital things addressed 'to the occupier' and not vital, which taught me how much spam resembles things like voter registration forms and gas metre reading letters, and how hard that is for adults with learning disabilities, and she did pick it up, which surprised me.
Some people get very motivated by having a chart, or a diary where you can colour, mark or sticker each day you manage to clear up something, and the aim of having no days missing a mark, keeping it going...
I usually use my bad tempers to clear up: you never do so much housework so fast.
The one surefire method is to take an important exam: the more you should be revising, the more your floor will desperately need cleaning. I suggest undergrad finals, terrifying enough to get a whole house clean (plus some daytime tv watched)